... Have you Ever?

[Betwyn]

Have you ever wanted to tie someone down..

Cut them with a razor blade and just watch them bleed?

Watch the blood bubble to the surface in the first fantastic rush and burst of colour...

Then watch as gravity pulls on the blood...

And it searches for the path of least resistance on its journey down..

The little red rivers separating and rejoining..

Matting hair as they go..

Pooling in the bodies hollows before pouring on in its descent..

All the while, their eyes are wild with fear and pain..

Darting this way and that, searching for help, escape, release, hope...

And finding none.

Tears welling to the surface..

Pain, anguish and hopelessness over running them until the tears start to flow down on their own journey..

Searching out their own paths..

And where they intersect the blood..

Diluting it...

Until finally..

You have a mixed puddle of blood and tears on the floor at your feet..

And you don't feel what you thought you would...

Just the familiar emptiness?

[Anonymous]

I'm all for expressing yourself through writing and poetry, but this is a little much. I'm not trying to be mean or anything, I just feel that this is really disturbing.

[Betwyn]

This one, is meant to be.

If it doesn't disturb, provoke thought, or make emotions come unbidden.. it's a waste of time.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm sure it was meant to be that way and maybe other people felt that but my only thought was "what the fuck did I just read?"

I've seen your other work and I think you're a great writer. Stuff like this just isn't my style, personally. That doesn't mean it's "bad" though in terms of poetry. I just thought it was a little much. Just my opinion.

[Betwyn]

And that is fair, we all have our tastes.

I upvoted you for sharing yours.

[Opinion Owner]

Okay, thank you. I was hoping you wouldn't take my criticism personally. I pretty much love all of the other writings that you've posted here. You're very talented.

[Betwyn]

Well, thank you :)

I sorta wish I knew who you are.

[Octavion]

What. The. Fuck...

[Claireluvskaren]

As someone wh is in the media industry, I love your writing, it is complete with visual images, that take you to where your protagonist or antagonist are. The fact that most of it is on a dark side is ok. Edgar Allan Poe was dark, and over a hundred years later we still read his works. Keep up your writing, it is a skill that not many people your age have.

[Betwyn]

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Although, it is very well written. Perfect description of a psychopathy in it is full swing...

I truly hope it is only an artistic taste in dark fantasy genre.

Although, i personallt dont know you, im hoping you never ever get to this point in your real life... either by exercise of extreme self - control or under a professional supervision.

And just in a case, going anonymous :)

[Betwyn]

"And just in a case, going anonymous" LMAO

Thank you for reading it, and getting it.

[Opinion Owner]

haha good to see you have also got a good sense of humour. You are welcome. From a literature point of view and also judging by the opinions and reaction on here, you have managed to touch quite a few people :) That's is true talent. You have created an great context and intertextuality... I was seeing clear images of the crime scene in my mind when I was reading. Well done!

[Betwyn]

Thank you so much :)

[Opinion Owner]

u re welcome :)

[Shaft50]

A very descriptive prose, describing in such a distanced and clinical take on life seeping away with that twist at the end that makes you really think, "... familiar emptiness? This person has done this before..."

The topic itself is disturbing and I don't condone it, but there are poetic and creative skills at play there.

[Betwyn]

Thank you.

[Shaft50]

No problem... now I need to think about sulphuric acid to clean my mind of any images that might incriminate me..

[Anonymous]

Nice take and it was different from your average take around here ^_^
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[Betwyn]

Thank you.

[JohnnySS]

no. but I've thought of shooting people and having dinner while they bleed out. only if they deserve it. but hurting myself? no not really I've wanted to yes but emotionally - no. hurting others like that no i dislike gruesome stuff. who would want to get dirty not me

i dont like sick things unnatural things, depravity etc sickness

i like natural, strength, and health

[Bards]

...
gifrific.com/.../no-words-homer-into-brush.gif

...

[Bards]

BUT this would be a good intro for a piece of writing.

[Xylem]

rofl

[sagari]

Beautiful but dark, are you okay? I hope whatever you are going through end soon.

[Betwyn]

Thank you

[sagari]

You're welcome.

[chocolateismylover]

I can't relate this to this but it was very detailed and well written.
So many feels !

[Betwyn]

Thank you chocolate :)

[Anonymous]

Why are people so fucked up on this site 😩😩😩😩😩😩

[Meowsers]

Ummmm... hmmmm... not others no... to myself? Yes. I've thought about hurting my self severly. but Other NO WAY! You need a phsycologist or therapist... i dont care which just one of them... I will lock my doors from here on out...

[Betwyn]

I thought American's already locked their doors?

[MarkyyG123]

0_0 holy shit... Houston we got a... BIG... problem 0_0

[vishna]

If you had gone anonymous, I maybe would have thought you were a troll.

But this is obviously good poetry.

Great imagery :)

[Betwyn]

Thank you :)

[justwannatalk]

Yes I have considered this about myself and others. Yet I'm afraid my fatal flaw is I'm too kind. ☹ Stupid conscience. Not bad, maybe we could compare notes sometime. 😉

[HouseBolton]

I know, right? Damn morals and ethics (no sarcasm... alright, maybe a tiny bit)

[Philosopher_Edge]

Flames. I prefer to burn things.

But no... The emptiness will always remain no matter how much to try to fill it with pain, it will never make you feel better.

[Betwyn]

Fire has it uses.. but.. it is much more hypnotic.. you can get lost in it...

[Philosopher_Edge]

And you burn.

[DaveyYourFavey]

Very well written and poetic. But still very unsettling. Could be a very controversial poem.

[Betwyn]

If you look through the other comments, I'd say you're spot on with that assessment.

[Skadouchebag]

Thank you for reminding me to lock my doors at night.

By the way, YOU NEED TO SEE A PSYCHOLOGIST ASAP.

[Betwyn]

You are welcome. :)

Thank you for reading and commenting.

Writing is my psychologist.

[NedfromtheNed]

IT'S NOT WORKING!!!

[Betwyn]

@NedfromtheNed

You really can't make that determination off of one posting. You don't know where I started from.

[NedfromtheNed]

Lol. Ok...

[BelleGirl21]

No I haven't. I am very relieved we don't live by each other...
maybe lay off the violent media for a while.

[Betwyn]

which violent media would that be?

[BelleGirl21]

Just a hunch girl

[Betwyn]

I mainly watch American game shows.

[BelleGirl21]

Lol that explains a lot.

[Betwyn]

Does it?

[Succcesssfulll]

I feel emptiness but, not the emptiness to do that.

[mrrapperguy]

I like it. People focus on the disturbing parts while failing to recognize that this piece actually tackles the pointlessness of revenge or getting back at someone

[Betwyn]

Thank you.

[pooper89]

That was the most demented "poem" I have ever read.

[Betwyn]

Thank you for reading it.