Need help with a shy guy! He used to like me but when we stopped talking I began to like him.. please keep on reading!?

[She_knows_best]

We used to talk a lot and he used to be the perkiest, most fun, and always smiling shy guy when around me, but a few situations happened where I rejected him in an indirect way and we gradually stopped talking.. Im gonna see him this summer again and I like him now, i heard that he liked a few other girls (each seperately, ofcourse) during the time we stopped talking.. Is it BECAUSE we stopped talking? Is he trying to forget me? He used to tell his friend he thinks im so beautiful and he'd love to be with me, and I didn't used to like him until now
Please tell me what you guys think about all this, he no longer answers all my texts and im definitely not clingy!
Please help and tell me what to do this summer:(

[CharlieUnicorn]

He probably wanted a relationship with you, but you shot him down. Some guys are pretty good at emotionally detaching themselves when they are denied (even just once), so they break the friendship aswell.
On the whole, it's a pretty good idea since it hurts as hell to tag along someone you're into who only considers you as a friend. It's a messed up power balance that poisions the friendship anyway.

IMO, yes, he could very well be trying to forget you to avoid getting hurt.

The only thing I think you can do is to strike out, quite frankly. Show your intent, plain as day. Tell him you are attracted to him and want to go on a date or something.

Of course, you could be rejected. He might've found someone now, and that would suck, but at least it resolve the matter once and for all. Or, he'll run to your side and becomes your boyfriend!

Yeah, rejections sting as hell but are a fact of life, so deal with it. You can't just try to dodge it all the time and really, how fair is it that only guys should take the blow anyway? Remember, he took a risk and was shot down by YOU. It's only fair that you take the same risk now.

How else are you going to prove that you think HE's worth it?

[She_knows_best]

You're plain awesome! Wish you the best :-) thank you so much!

[CharlieUnicorn]

You're welcome! I really wish you the best and hope this works out.

Remember, he may be a little phased by your shift in attitude (might think you are stringing him along, playing him just to get back the friendship) so he may react a little strange. This especially if he tries to force himself to have a bad opinion of you, because of your fallout. It's stupid but yet another thing guys do to avoid feeling hurt.

I think that can be counteracted by more open-hearted talk.
Say things like you didn't realise how you felt before and regret making the wrong decision.

And finally, don't get scared if you get a no reply like "I have to think about this". He may need time to rethink before you get an answer, so don't stress him.

[She_knows_best]

@charlieunicorn never knew this awesome site existed before today! Feels so great to know a guy's point of view on life and relationship matters since we, girls, often stick to our girl best friends for-usually not helpful- advice. And most definitely I won't be scared from rejection, God would be saving something better for all those who wait :)

[Mesonfielde]

If you meet him, tell him how much you're glad to see him again.

But to be honest, it's silly how you demand his attention only after he's stopped giving it. Initiate sooner if you want something, rather than gazing at a cake and want to eat it only after it's moldy and no longer a cake.

You can still redeem it, though. And you'll need to initiate, because he thinks he has been abandoned, I think.-

[She_knows_best]

Thank you for being honest! I guess I needed to hear that and I actually do feel guilty! Plus, I dont blame him for anything since I messed it all up! Thanks again for your honesty, much appreciated :)

[She_knows_best]

Oh and one more thing! Have you ever been in his position? Cause I have a small question please

[Mesonfielde]

Eeehhh.. It'd be overstatement, because I had similar situations, but not exactly the same. I can still answer your 'small question' if I know the answer to it, though. :P

[She_knows_best]

Haha anywayy, what can I do to make it better? Like any sentence anything small

[Mesonfielde]

The best way is when meeting him, be genuinely happy that you see him, and maybe give him a hug or something at the greeting part.

[She_knows_best]

Thank you:D you're awesome!

[zombiebabe]

sure its because you shot him down that he has decided to turn towards other girls...try to talk to him

[She_knows_best]

Hm...Maybe he turned to me in hope of forgetting another girl? How can I know? :/

[zombiebabe]

its a complicated solution

[Anonymous]

You know I'm a very insecure shy guy. Girls generally do not like me so if a girl rejected me no matter how indirect I probably would not even dare to go near her because I would be scared she would make fun of me or sth like that if I admitted my feelings for her. So I feel like it's only natural he turned away from you.

[She_knows_best]

Hmm I have a tiny question, though! If you were him, and you get nervous talking to a girl who rejected you, um so you're kinda scared to be approached by her in order for you not to fall in love again? Is this why you's start ignoring her?

[womenhateme]

Why put the poor guy through more pain? I hope your not planning on dating him because you feel sorry for him? That would be a slap in the face.

[She_knows_best]

Noooo ofcourse not! I actually love him haha no I would never do such thing :)

[womenhateme]

LOL right that's what all girls say. Sorry I ain't buying it.

[She_knows_best]

Haha as you wish

[womenhateme]

I have a hard time believing any girl/woman on here who automatically falls in love with a shy guy without her feeling somewhat sorry or guilty for him.

[She_knows_best]

Nope I'm actually a shy girl, myself. As in I reaally get nervous if I like a guy and then I mess things up before they get beautiful:/ But always trying to fix my flaws, hope I succeed:)

[womenhateme]

But guys don't care rather or not a girl is shy because guys do 100% of the approaching.

[joshshows]

Honestly, if i was him...if you just came up to me and layed one hell of a kiss on me before i could do anything...i would be all yours... trust me...it will work