Why do adults compliment young people, yet young people never compliment each other?

Question

I'm just curious. 
Adults (generally people graduated from college and older, so maybe 25 and up) will compliment me often but people my age never do. 
An adult will typically tell me I have pretty hair or a pretty smile or something like that at least once a month. (Usually waitors, teachers, clerks, etc.) But at school, girls will ask "how do you do your hair" rather than complimenting it. And the only person my age who was complimented me was a guy saying I have nice eyes and that was one time. 

I don't really care honestly, I'm cool without compliments, I'm just curious what compels adults to be so compliment-y? My friends have noticed the same thing.

Abaddon515 · Accepted Answer

Yea it's very strange to me too. Although I've graduated college I'm only 21 and I'm the only one who ever compliments my friends who are still in college (usually younger than me). My gf is still in college and that's where I found it the strangest, my own friends are used to me but I accidentally distanced myself by complimenting them, they actually found it weird for someone their own age to do so :/ older folks no problem but not me. I think it may be either an experience or maturity thing because I already went through college I've been through the whole experience where as they are kinda still like teenagers, they don't even know how to have a conversation with anyone over 23 and see everyone older than that as "Adults" and themselves as still kids. Anyway, that's my thoughts on the matter, I think it's just down to whether or not they've seen themselves as full adults or not. To me it's just polite and friendly :)

jointhepatriarchy · Accepted Answer

Young people in America are very narcissistic and rarely compliment anyone unless they want to fuck them. In fact they probably dole out a hundred insults for every compliment they give. When I was in the Philippines I was amazed that people were so positive and loving toward each other. Girls would regularly tell each other they are beautiful and stuff. The guys would compliment each other's muscles, appearance, and abilities too. Basically everyone tried to make each other feel good about themselves whether than trying to tear each other down to build themselves up like they do here.

bunnyy · Accepted Answer

I don't know if it's a Canadian thing but that's how people made friends in high school if it was an awkward class where you didn't know anyone people would just go up to each other and be like "heeey I like you hair... wanna sit beside me?" Also I work in retail and I find that adults especially middle aged and older are rude and entitled where as teenagers are usually shy and polite and they tend to put away all their clothes on their own when they are done in the change rooms. And Adults leave clothes in piles all over the floor and spill their coffee in the change rooms and never apologize, they also demand things from the back and get mad when I can't find it. But if a teen asks me to find a size in the back and we don't have it they are usually just like "oh ok that's alright thanks anyway!".

emmabee11 · Accepted Answer

Young people these days are just generally very vain, self-involved, brain washed clones... they are incredibly insecure and act like it's everyone's fault but no... they had a choice but they gave into weakness, they act so jealous over other people even when they have no clue the struggles we go through... to them are get everything good while they are the only ones that get it hard, their parents give them too much but don't teach them to deal with lifes situations so they indeed act very badly and can't be happy for anyone not even for themselves.

thelowanthem · Accepted Answer

Too much jealousy among us girls, and guys are afraid to compliment girls because it may make them seem interested when they're not, or seem like a creep if the girl doesn't take to it. Older folks care less about how their compliment will be received by the other person and are less self-conscious about saying what they think.

PalmWave · Answer

It’s a bummer that society runs that way. Younger people complimenting each other usually end up getting labeled something or judged right after. If a guy were to walk up to another same age and say “man I just love the way you play that guitar bro” sure it’s a nice thing, but someone is will normally wonder if the guy is gay, or if he's just creeper lurking around. Even if its little things like hair or body, you’re going to be called out as queer or a weirdo because its simply not the norm. And I honestly don’t know why it isn’t.

As for guy complimenting girl, you're obviously going to get the creep status unless you have super model looks, which isn’t all that common. In my mind I always admire the great things people have are do. And sometimes I may even compliment them accordingly, but not in the sense elders compliment younger people. This society just sucks that way.

Honest-Matt · Answer

People the same age are apprehensive to complimenting each other because we have closer connections, it's hard to explain. I'm older, my relation to say someone who is 13 is farther apart. My fear of judgement for what I say is less because I have no motive with what I say, I care less. I pay a 13yr old a compliment and it doesn't hold any intent beyond that unlike someone my own age where I say it if I have affection towards them for instance.

It's like a girl hanging out with a gay guy. A lot of apprehension or 'walls' are dropped because it doesn't apply like it usually would if a girl and a straight guy tried hanging out.

No one is cold or heartless, no one is a narcissistic asshole. We're all just kinda unsure, a little afraid of pushing comfort zones and all that.

cherrybunny9 · Answer

This generation is cold hearted. I am blunt. A lot of us never say positive things to each other. I do. 'nice sweater' 'I like the way you did your hair' etc. I just had someone yell out I was uglier than their friend. lol. she was maybe a 2 out of 10

fishylala · Answer

younger people.. i dont mean this in a mean way AT ALL but they dont generally have the confidence that a fully mature adult does, i think there are a lot of insecurities that come with being young and everything is a lot more judgemental. young people have a hard time complimenting themselves, let alone other people

RenoTheGambler · Answer

On God I was telling my sister this last year and she swore I was wrong, she watches reality tv day and night so she's pretty disconnected. I can't find a reason except for maybe because the generations were taught different. My family, friends etc etc are the same way. They NEVER compliment me for all I've accomplished but older people do. I'm in the 30-35 range now but it's true what you say.

bambi3 · Answer

I compliment people all the time, I simply appreciate beauty & the work people put into themselves, it's frustrating when girls take it the wrong way & think I'm gay & then wanna date... tbh I get hit on by more women than men :/ when I'm really just being social

EyeSeaYew · Answer

Competition.
People of the same age group are in competition to be the best. So your peers may be more hesitant to compliment you on, say, your hair or outfit because they want theirs to be better than yours. Whereas people outside of your age group are not in competition with you. Thus more generous with the compliments.

chikitou1 · Answer

Cus young people are jealous. They won't compliment you ! On the contrary , they will try to put you down and make you feel bad about yourself. Why would someone put a low value person down? No one would do that. People are generally nice to other whome they consider are less valued than they are. But if you are high value, people your age will be catty toward you. You will only get compliments from secure people.

Regnatrix · Answer

It could be that with people of or around the same age, saying compliments to one another could be a sign of flirting, especially if its with the opposite gender. Maybe younger people are too afraid to have a relationship start or are competitive to look/become better then others around them. Hard to say.

Pancakes · Answer

I think older people are less in their own head, us young people are always worrying too much about how others see us to actually see the people around us. Plus older people are less worried about looking weird complimenting people!

rjroy3 · Answer

I both receive and give compliments fairly regularly. I wait till something justifies one. Been that way since middle school all the way till now and I'm 24. Might be a mix of your attitude regarding people and general and where you live. I'm from Virginia, so I'm not sure.
I get compliments when I go out of state too tho

Koolz123 · Answer

I'd say it's based on how mature that person is literary when you're adult it's already there but for people our age it has to do with the insecurities and the "pride" that we convey to one another me on the other hand I compliment girls with the intention of not getting it back because it means to me that I appreciate their presence and would like to get to know them better. I wouldn't count everyone of our age out in terms of giving compliments lol

Koldhearted · Answer

I know exactly what you mean!

The few times I've heard that i was hot/cute/handsome, almost every single time it was someone in their like 40s that said it

Makes me think that

Girls my age don't like me._.

Older women DO like me (not complaining) or their standards have naturally plummeted due to aging , and THAT'S why i'm handsome._.

Anonymous · Answer

This is definitely something I wonder too and it's the same for me. I'm 14 and I get compliments all the time from adults saying I'm pretty and beautiful and stuff, but from girls my age, it rarely happens, although girls at school do say that I'm pretty. And I have been asked to work at Abercrombie and I have heard that Abercrombie doesn't hire ugly people, so the adults may not be lying and trying to just make me feel better about myself. So what could this be? Jealousy? Vanity?

Rapunzel2490 · Answer

The younger generation is extremely competitive. For some reason it's more socially acceptable for people to snub each other than give them a compliment.

aegis_the_genuine · Answer

It's all about competiton. Young people have a tendency to see each other as competition. So, complimenting would make them seem less or something. That's just an immature way of thinking that goes away with age.

AngelsFalling · Answer

Really? I've never noticed this, me and all my friends complement each other all the time though, like daily there is a girl or guy in our group of friends getting a complement. Just different people I guess.

CrazyPravesh · Answer

I guess it might primarily be habits, we are more busy with our mobiles, prefer to click on a like button rather than complimenting somebody. and day by day people prefer remain on their own or having fewer close friends rather than talking to anybody. Being in groups are more like feeling primitive and requiring a certain amount of security, and people are moving far from that concept.

thetundrawolf · Answer

Also, older people have the wisdom to understand what a compliment will do for someone, and not be selfish enough to try and manipulate the person, either.

523206720 · Answer

Older people do it to build up the self esteem of young people but when young people compliment each other - it can sometimes make you look cheap. My theory - not sure if it's true.

Why do adults compliment young people, yet young people never compliment each other?

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