I have yet not been diagnosed by aspergers, but according to a shrink I’ve seen a few times, I probably have it, and I’m currently waiting to be diagnosed.
I have been in a relationship for a bit over two years, and have a wonderful girlfriend who intuitively seems to get a lot of my difficulties, even though it’s only recently that we’ve know it could be aspergers. And one thing that I can tell you is this: being in a relationship is exhausting in so many ways (whilst rewarding too), and I have several times contemplated whether breaking up and just staying single may be the right choice for me. When in the company of other people, I’m always tense, trying to figure out what they’re thinking, what I should do and say, etc. It doesn’t come naturally, but requires very active effort. Also, I am into doing things that seem weird and boring to most people, like watching YouTube videos about medieval swords and armor for hour after hour, and I just can’t do that in peace if there are other people around.
I constantly say things that hurt my girlfriend, and she has to tell me how I could have said the same thing in a none-hurtful way, and while I’ve learned a lot, it is exhausting to always think of how to sat things the ”right” way.
When I’m alone; when the door closes around me after the last person leaves, it feels like a tremendous noise goes away. Like it’s finally nice and quiet and I can be myself, and focus on the things that I enjoy and that really interest me, and I don’t have to constantly try to analyze what someone else might be thinking. Because of this, singlehood seems very appealing sometimes. I still don’t want to be completely isolated - don’t get me wrong - it’s just that my need for human interaction is satisfied a lot quicker than for most.
Well most of us aren't very sociable and society looks down on us. We tend to prefer being alone and do our own things such as hobbies like arts, gaming, music etc. However, I have been on a few dates before. Me personally, love isn't really important to me in life. I may be with someone if I liked them but my important aim in life is to get a successful career in the future. And to be honest, I like my life the way it is.
- I have Aspergers.
That is the whole point of Aspergers, although I slightly disagree when it comes to dating. People with Aspergers have difficulty of communicating with others and they don't know how to express themselves. My brother with Aspergers is only sociable with those who he can relate to and he would like a girlfriend.
Nothing sad about it if they feel more secure and fulfilled with a life containing deeply consuming hobbies and some activities partners with similar interests. Romantic longing is mostly the result of hormones that urge us to pair bond. Doing what makes you comfortable personally isn't a bad thing.
First do not generalise using stereotypes.
I know few people who have Asperger's and want to date. My ex has it.
You do realize that it is defined by sensitivity to social situations and/or stimulation.
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Oh look, another person making absurd, inaccurate and ultimately offensive generalisations. Please stop.
I have aspergers. The one thing I want more than anything else in the world is a girlfriend. I know a large number of people with aspergers. Many of them also want to date.
Many of those who are the way you speak of appear to be that way because they are sad and lonely in the first place and have decided within themselves to just accept that comfortable but ultimately unfulfilling life. They need to be invigorated or revitalised with the true spirit of life, by finding friends and by doing fun and constructive things with their life. They do that, they get to feeling better, they get to believing they can have more out of life and being hungry for it. I believe this is the case because I myself experienced this process.
They just don't enjoy being around people the way you do. I don't have aspergers but I'm very introverted and I don't enjoy being around people for too long either. It isn't sad. I don't feel lonely like you do, I enjoy being alone. You probably get very bored when alone and long for human interaction, I'm the opposite, I feel drained from too much social interaction and eventually just want to be left alone.
As for staying single, I have a girlfriend but if I were to lose her I'd probably stay single and not care about another relationship. Again you might think that's sad but that comes from your feelings of loneliness, feelings that I don't feel anywhere near as much as you do.
I appreciate the question.
51 year old male with Asperger's.
I have never been single. But I also don't like living with my partners. I have had one for ten years who lived four hours away and who I saw once every 6-8 weeks for a long weekend. My new one lives a block away and I have to ask for alone time because I find it overwhelming that he is here all the time. it's just too much and I need to be alone.
I would like to be single, I just never get the chance. It is odd how we can be offensive and so many people dislike us, on one hand, and on the other, our openness and honesty draw people in and I have never been single for more than four weeks.
Because they can be socially awkward and have a hard time caring or reading people's feelings, it's not their fault though.
Becuase that this the definition of Aspergers. It's a medical diagnosis.
lmgtfy.com/?q=characteristics+of+aspergers#seen
There ya go.
If it were true it would be due to social difficulty.
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