How do you recover from low self esteem? How do you learn to love yourself?

[Anonymous]

You don't have to read this. You can just share your opinion.

But I'll tell you about what I'm feeling.
I *hate* myself. I absolutely will not take pictures with people or even selfies. I don't look at my face in the mirror, rather just my hair, unless I dim the lights. I know I'm not hideous. But I don't find myself pretty at all. And when I see my own face I just feel contempt for myself or shame.

I compare my body's to everyone's and I have examined every inch of me and decided what I do and don't like. I don't like much.

Its not just physical.
I'm shy and awkward. I used to not be this bad but bc I've been having jabs taken at my self esteem lately I can't make eye contact with people I don't know well without blushing. I can't discuss a lot of topics face to face. I'm always faintly embarrassed. As soon as I say something I regret it. I take most things waaay too personally. Person goes around me when I'm driving? -5 self esteem points. Someone in public doesn't smile back? -15 points. Shit like that.

I didn't want a yearbook for high school because why the fuck would I want a book with my picture in it commemorating a tough time in my life?

I'm not bullied. No one made fun of me at school. No one calls me ugly or anything. I'm treated normally. Guys ask me out every now and then. Some try to sleep with me. I get the occasional compliment. But no matter what I hate myself.

If someone thinks I'm cute I think they have low standards and/or I literally suspect their vision. if a guy is trying to get sex from me I think he's just desperate or a sex addict.

I can't really name anything that I like about myself that the nagging voice in the back of my head won't tear to shreds immediately.

I don't know how to drown out that voice

[AleDeEurope]

I was in that same situation 2 years ago, and sometimes I go back to those thoughts, for like a week or so.
What I did to get out of it is wanting to change, and fighting to change, to shut that voice in the back of my head.
Of course it's not easy, at the beginning, most of the times that voice will win all the arguments, but if you don't give up and keep on repeating to yourself how fucking awesome and beautiful you are you will eventually start seeing improvements in how you see and treat yourself.
I can't tell you if you will win the war and get rid of that voice forever, since I'm still battling against it, but I can tell you that you can win the battle, and even when you think you've won, that voice will come back one day, and you have to shut it, don't let her say one word, right when you get one little sign you have to stop it. Again repeat yourself how awesome you are.

Trust me, it works. 2 years ago I was depressive and thinking about suicide, now I'm loving myself more than before, I can hold eye contact, have normal conversations, and feel good. I'll be lying if I say I'm happy, but I'm way, way better than before.

You could also go to a therapist and talk your problems with him/her, I haven't tried it myself but I've heard many people that say it works. Sometimes we just need to let our shit out, someone to listen to our problems and help us.

You can also write a journal about the positive things that happened to you that day. You don't have to fill the page, maybe you just write 2-3 phrases, but they all have to be positive stuff, no negativity is allowed. After a while read back those positive things. What you need is to fill your mind with positive thoughts.

I really hope you manage to get out of this, and seriously, if you need to talk, let some stuff out of your body, don't doubt to message me, I'll be glad to help someone that's going through the same thing I went through.
Good luck :)

[Aizou]

It may sound like it won't work, like something people have made up
but you can actually fool your brain into believing certain things
if you keep on trying to make it believe.

What I'm talking about, is that one can improve their
mentality, by repeatedly praising themselves, saying
stuff like "I'm so great at this" I look awesome" etc.

There's a MyTake on it too, which someone wrote
quite some time ago--

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a7708-trick-your-brain-gain-better-self-esteem

Good luck. ^.^

[Willy_Cee]

You basically described myself. I was getting a hang of things, still am, but I'm so self critical and lonely that I'm starting to self destruct. I spent all off last night drinking and shooting up coke. I don't even like it that much I just want to be numb and hurt myself.

I'm somewhat attractive, and used to be good at my hobbies and talents (my dad died a couple years ago, he was not a good person, but it tore my family apart and I'm just now getting things back together. Im just so lonely but so shy and guarded that I could never chase a girl long enough for her to get to know me without turning her off.

I know I think unrealistic thoughts, but im beginning to wonder if my negative thoughts have become so ingrained that I'm stuck that way.

[justwannatalk]

You can't drown it out. Odds are you never will be able to. You have to learn when the voice is wrong. You have to be able to tell it no, I am beautiful. You may have to talk with it. It's not crazy, its a way of dealing with the feelings you've been having.

[NedfromtheNed]

Look in the mirror tell your self "im awesome" or "im great" or stuff like that. It sounds silly but if you repeat it anytime you start to feel down it starts to work. There is a TED TALK on it.