19, male, and I suck at driving? Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Just wanted to ask this question because it appears everyone knows to drive nowadays, and especially guys are expected to know how to drive and to understand about cars and stuff.

I'm at the end of my driving lessons (6-7 hours to go before exam), and it's been one of the worst experiences of my life. I hate having to wake up in order to have a driving class, I hate the driving classes themselves, God knows how much I hate my instructor, and I hate driving in general. It's just a still, stupid, boring thing; I'd much rather drive a bike off-terrain (like I'm used to do), it's much more exciting than driving a car. I really don't get the appeal.

My instructor was always screaming at me because I can't adapt my driving to the situation, and honestly I don't care enough to do so. He was always saying I'd fail my exam because I sucked at driving in open roads (I do maneuvers perfectly though) and adapting speed/gears to whatever was requested from me. Even if I did pass, I'd drive just like old ladies, barely able to keep the car steady. And I KNOW this is true because I have 0 confidence whatsoever in my driving skills, neither do I care enough about driving in order to do so.
Right now I don't even have an instructor to take me to exam because he punched me hard (I let the car stall several times and he took it as a provocation, though I really was trying my best to get it to start) so I snapped, fought back, and we ended up getting out of the car pushing each other around until other drivers came in between us. I wrote a complain against the school for physical abuse and after tomorrow I'll start having classes in another school.

The important thing though is that I have 0 hopes of passing my exam. Even if I do, I'm not even thinking about driving by myself, not only because I have no confidence in my skills, but also because I just don't like driving. However, it seems like there's a lot of pressure on me to take my license.
Thoughts about this?
Thanks

[Antizzl]

If you hate everything about it. Don't do it. If you can't adapt your driving to the condition don't do it. You are a danger to everyone in that case. It sounds like you may not be mature enough to drive but that's pure presumption based on what you have shared. If you like riding motorcycles that's cool don't know where you are from but in my state you can't get an M class until you have a regular drivers license. Trust me, it's easier to take a woman on a date with a car unless you live in an urban area.
I wanted to drive as far back as I can remember my dad started teaching me at 13. Had my permit at 15 and had my license at at 830 am on my 16th birthday.

[Antizzl]

You know I left out that your instructor sounds like a real dick. If you are already meh about driving then a dickhead instructor isn't helping either. While going to college I was a behind the wheel driving instructor for a little over a year. I never told someone they were gonna fail. I always said when we are done you will be more than prepared for your drivers test.

[Antizzl]

Thanks for the MHO

[bryon]

If you can't develope the skills then is is likely that you won't pass , why? You say you will. You set your own mind against you and it will win. It a mind game man , you have to focus on the knowing I got this shit by the short curlys and it don't have me.. Don't mind Feck yourself or don't let anyone else do it either. You have already got the basics , trust that you can apply them.. You got this sh! t , just believe you do ; and it could change your out look on getting through it.

[Asker]

Thanks :)
The thing is, I'm pretty good at memorizing what I need to do. I can do maneuvers because they all have a pattern and you can just follow it time and time again. But riding on the road there are too many variables on when to change your gear and speed and I can't learn any pattern doing those things. Pretty much I just follow my gut and try to hope for the best, only to end up barely hitting another car or stalling :/

[bryon]

It still reviles around confidence. Trusting that what you are going to do it right for the situation. I got my license at age 15 and I remember being as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of moving rocking chairs , lol. Since then I got my motor cycle license and my CDL license. The big thing is you have to trust you..

[chrisbigman]

Are you learning "stick shift" by chance?

[bryon]

I prefer the manual transmission over an auto any day

[Asker]

Ahahah nice answer thanks :) I'd definitely try to develop more confidence in my skills.

@Chris: Yep. Only a few schools around here offer manual cars, and they are almost twice the price of regular schools. And even if I learned in auto, I'd always have to drive a manual after getting my license, since my family doesn't own any automatic and they're kinda rare in Portugal, so I wouldn't want to switch to an auto :P

[chrisbigman]

Ah. Yeah, manual transmission can be tricky. It was for me, but I think I got the shifting down now. All I have to do, is find a car that is manual. Then start driving it. Of course, I might wanna practice first. Not sure if there's any way to practice here. I'm guessing there is, but I'd have to look. I drive automatic, but I wouldn't mind driving manual.

[Asker]

@Chris: Some friends of mine got kinda good at driving manuals at night. They would go into a quiet neighbor where cops didn't pass by (since at the time they didn't have their license, but if you do that's one thing you don't need to worry about) or that didn't have much traffic or parked cars, and they would drive around those blocks. The more stiff the uphills and downhills the better (so you can learn how to use the crutch and the gears). For most people, as soon as you understand how to use the clutch then you just need to practice in various situations. Youtube videos also help.

We have a technique here we call "ponto de embraiagem", but I don't know its name in English . Basically it's controlling the accelerator and the clutch at the same time (pressing the clutch to the deep end, then accelerating to 1000rpm, then slowly releasing the clutch, though it varies slightly depending on the car). Once you have that down, it becomes much easier.

[Asker]

By the way, should have said the technique above is for the car to start rolling on stiff uphills. It is done in 1st gear too :P
Another basic notions are the gears. 1st gear = starting the car rolling or very very slow speeds; 2nd gear = changing directions, stiff uphill, and/or slow speeds, from then on I get lost. Also, bear in mind lowest gears = more power (for example, to go uphill), highest gears (like 4th and 5th - 3rd is the middle term) = more speed, less power.

[smileymiley96]

well.. if you dont really like driving and dont really care about it then why do it? in order to drive you must be comfortable with doing so... but i mean if u look into the future and u get a job a car would indeed come in handy unless u would rather take a bus or ride ur bike there... or you could just do what i did get my drivers license and never drive again XD

[Asker]

Ahahah xD
Yea it's mostly the job thingy, you pretty much need a car for everything these days. It's more of a necessity than a luxury.

[smileymiley96]

true that, true that

[chrisbigman]

You're not required to get your driver's license, unless a job requires it. You're not required to drive a car. Driving is more of a privilege, than a requirement. If you want to ride your bike, then riding your bike you shall. If you need an official ID, I would talk to the DMV or your local government and ask them how you can get one

[chrisbigman]

Otherwise, just keep plugging along and find an instructor/teacher that has so much patience that they are the Donald Trump or Kevin O'Leary (from the TV show "Shark Tank") of patience.

[chrisbigman]

Or the Bill Gates or Steve Jobs of patience.

[Asker]

Ahahahah Kevin is a business God xD
I'm fine with any instructors. I've had 2 so far. The first one was the one who taught me most things. He also screamed at me whenever I did something wrong, but I didn't care and just tried to correct it. This 2nd one, though, got physical 3 times even after I told him I wouldn't admit that kind of stuff, so it was obvious that eventually I would snap, and I did.

Both of them aggreed that I was pretty good at memorizing stuff (say, if they said "at 60km/h you go into 4th gear", then every time I went down to 60 I would go into 4th from then on) but bad at applying it to different situations (so, for example, even if I'm downhill, I wouldn't insert 4th unless I was at 60, and I still don't understand why you can go into 4th downhill while barely having any speed).

[chrisbigman]

If I'm not mistaken, when you put it in 4th gear, you getting speed from going downhill. You hardly need to press on the gas when going down hill - especially the more steep the hill is. The more steep a hill is, less gas you need, because the hill will give you the speed you need in the 4th gear.

[chrisbigman]

Also, don't be so hard on yourself and give yourself too high of expectations. I'm sure some people have failed their driving test once or twice. As long as you don't give up and work at it, you will get it eventually.

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice :)
See, here's another good example of where I'm having trouble: I now understand that when you're going downhill the car gains some speed so you can change gears faster, and that when you're going uphill you can't change gears unless you have extra acceleration, otherwise the car will lose too much speed and won't be able to keep up with an higher gear.

Although I can grasp that, I can't visualize or understand it completely. I am kinda familiar with the gear mechanism, but I can't see how downhill it's getting enough speed to change gears and increase the speed by itself without needing gas. This is just another example of a situation where the only way for me to understand what to do is to memorize it (when going downhill, change gears faster) without understanding why I can do that :/
Same applies to changing directions in tricky places, reacting to other drivers and pedestrians breaking the rules, etc.

[chrisbigman]

Do you understand the neutral gear? It's like going downhill in neutral. The vehicle is using gravity, and since the hill is at a slant, the vehicle is going to roll downhill. I'm surprised your instructor/teacher didn't teach this. If they did, then I'm not sure how else I can help you understand.

Are you saying that there's too much to know to driving?

[bryon]

Gravity helps the car gain speed without help from the engine while going down hills

[Asker]

Yea I understand that, but we can't use neutral gears or any other kind of "fuel-friendly" techniques in our driving exam, we need to always be in a gear.

Possibly not too much to "know", but you need to understand quite a bit, yea. Disregarding the theory, you need to understand a bit about the mechanics of the car so you can understand how gears work and why and when you should use one gear and not the other, etc. Not only regarding gears but also some other stuff, like why you should turn left near the sidewalk, why you should sometimes position your car on the left instead of driving in the right side, etc.
My problem is that I don't understand why I'm doing things. I just do them because I was told to do them in such and such way, but I never got the underlying mechanics of 90% of what I do.

[chrisbigman]

I guess they just want to make sure you understand which gear to be in when going downhill. Just drive in the gears they recommend. You can drive out of gear once you pass the test and get your license.

If it's too much, then maybe forgo your license. Maybe sit down with someone and go over those things you don't understand. Do this before you even get in the car. That way, once you get in the car, you should be fine and you'll know why you do what you do. I will admit that I probably don't remember everything about driving. But I know enough. At least I haven't been in a major accident - only a parking lot fender bender when I was in high school. Just sit down with someone that has their license and has been driving for a few years and ask them the things you need/want to know about driving - mechanics of driving.

[meatballs21]

Thoughts? Yeah, stay off the road. I don't want to get run over.

[chriswimm]

practice a lot on weekends in low traffic areas.

[AlwaysBelieving]

Trolls are getting interesting

[Asker]

Not trolling. But that's always a good excuse not to give an interesting answer.

[AlwaysBelieving]

I just said that because you said you're 19, and at least in the US, you don't need a driving lesson.

Also, stalling a car implies that it was a manual transmission and most instructors will ask you what kind of transmission you're comfortable with.

[Asker]

I live in Portugal though :P we use mostly manuals here. There are a few driving schools that have automatic cars, but they are kinda expensive. Most (including mine) offer '98 Opel Corsas and the like.
We also have 30 driving classes at maximum, though we can buy more, and we also need to have to have at least 10 before requesting an exam.