Whats the best thing to do for someone who has lost a parent when the day they lost them comes up?

i dont want to call it an anniversary (doesn't feel right)... but is there really ANYTHING you can say or do to make them hurt less?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • This past mother's day I saw a man and his two (good looking) daughters outside a breakfast restaurant. The place was packed and I assumed the mom was waiting inside for a table. Then acquaintances of them approached and after greetings the man said "we always came here on mother's day, it was her wish we kept coming".

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What Guys Said 2

  • Depends on the person really - My fathers is coming up in two months I would love to be given space whereas my mother will want everyone to make a fuss of her.

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  • All you have to do is be with her for a while. Actions speak louder than words. Honestly, people who are hurt don't expect or welcome your kind words. They would rather be irritating. Just go and meet the person, be with them for a while, if the want to light some candles or keep some flowers, just accompany them. That's all.

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What Girls Said 7

  • Honestly, no. You have to grieve. The "anniversary" date never gets easier. That entire month leading up to it causes me to cringe, cry, get angry, etc. But, I heard a quote from a movie and it's very true. You may be able to relate to it..

    "Losing a loved one is like living with an amputation. You always heal, but you're never the same."

    I'm very sorry to hear about your loss and I hope that day goes as good as it possibly can.

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    • im sorry for yours, too :(
      i like that quote. perfect.

    • Thank you! I hope it gets easier for you, and it will in time. You just have to take it one day at a time.

  • Just don't bring it up!

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    • kind of don't have to...

  • its not about what you can do its more about being there, soometimes its just by allowing them to have the sadness but not feeling uncomfortable feeling that way around you, it might be nice for you two to go to the grave or pay your respects, but mainly just try and make sure they are comfortable to let out their feelings around you.

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  • Just give them space to reflect. If they want to mention it, they will. Don't bring it up if its not something that directly effects you.

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  • I dont understand why people think that what a person needs when s/he loses someone is to make the pain go or lessen it. Allow the person to grieve and just be there. I think that's enough.

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  • My best friend is about to go through the same thing. Maybe have them come over and distract them with movies or dinner, talk about it only if they bring it up in anyway

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  • Be there for them and listen to them if they need to talk. You cannot do anything more than that.

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