All genders are welcome, but this question is largely aimed at women since they claim more often than men that confidence is attractive.
How much does confidence come from within and how much does it come from the praise of other people? For myself, I've found that it's difficult to understand telling someone who has crashed and burned time after time with no success to simply be confident. What reason is there to be confident after so much failure? If an aircraft design continuously crashed, why should the engineers be confident it will be airworthy? Wouldn't the better advice be to change the design of the aircraft? By the way, I asked a question about the effectiveness of confidence with an ugly person. Most women admitted confidence is useless in making an ugly man attractive, and (alas) I agree it's true for women to. You can find my confidence question here:
Most Helpful Girl
i think confidence does not... come from within. lol. it really comes from conditioning. if you're praised often, successful often- of course you're going to become more sure of yourself and what you can do. if you've been put down or if you keep failing, then it makes sense to not be confident. however, confident can be faked. and sometimes faking it can help you get the praise you need or be successful and ultimately that new conditioning can help develop some real confidence.
it's like acting. play the character, take it for spin. i think the important thing to realize is that people won't remember what you do/say for the most part... being unconfident is really being self-conscious right? so... stop thinking that people care what you do. they don't. so just be. easier said than done though.0