420 friendly girls/guys: I just had an epiphany that I'm a complete jerk. What do I do now?

i was smoking, but maybe i would still have had that notion, regardless of whether or not i had been smoking.

so, i've always attributed the fact that i have so few friends to my liking smaller groups and my being a good friend to fewer people and not being an acquaintance to a large number of people. and now, maybe it's just becuz i'm a jerk.

maybe it's just becuz i'm paranoid.

maybe it's just becuz i'm a hypochondriac. i actually had a notion that i couldn't rid my mind of 3 days ago that i was mentally retarded and it's why the people that know me always treat me so nicely. or maybe it's that all the people that treat me so nicely are being that nice becuz they don't know how to treat complete jerks. or maybe it's becuz they are the only people in my life that know if they abandoned me, then i would have no one. i am often alone but i never feel lonely. i don't know if this is at all characteristic to my title question =/

Updates:
I seriously needed to read this again, but only came by here happechance. Now that I am finally off meds, 15+ years of meds, all of a sudden everyone and their uncle is back in my life. Goes to show that most people are only present in your life during the bad times, not the good.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • My sister always says that when I smoke I get moody lol, but when she doesn't know I am doing it, she doesn't even notice. So I don't think its that. If you see aspects of yourself that you don't like then you have to actively work to change them. Having a small group of friends is okay, but if you only have them because having friends is normal and you really have no desire to be around these people then maybe you shouldn't be around them. Take a deep look at yourself, then make a list of all of your good qualities and all the bad. Be honest about if because if you're not you only hurt yourself. See if the good out weighs the bad and then if the bad out weighs, find ways to change those negative aspects
    :-)

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What Girls Said 1

  • Try talking to new people and try not to be a jerk? And you should stop smoking

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What Guys Said 0

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