Ways to work on self esteem?

I was an ugly duckling from elementary school throughout most of highschool, but grew into my looks senior year. It didn't help I got teased for looking nerdy or being shy. I never dated then or got asked out then. Now I'm in college, I'm more outgoing, changed my looks (haircut, contacts), gym routine, all that jazz. I've gone on dates, but feel like the ugly duckling, like guys would find some flaw or ditch me for another girl. How can I overcome this?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well I was bullied and teased all my life. (I look back now like ugh you were cute you wasted our cute years thinking you were ugly when we could've been flaunting how cute we were). I went from no confidence to a bit conceited in a little under a year. My mother told me find the favorite part of yourself and flaunt it like there's none better than yours. Look in the mirror everyday and find one thing you like about yourself (something different every day). Ignore people's negativity. There'll always be someone or another who'll have something negative to say (that's life). You just have to realize how awesome you are. You have to decide if your life is going to depend on the gratification/validation of others, or for yourself. Because at the end of the day, someone is on here probably writing an anon post about how much they secretly are crushing on you.

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What Guys Said 7

  • Don't try to develop self-esteem directly, it ends up being short-lived. Set long-term goals, break them down to the month, week, day, and then to the individual task. Do those tasks. When you yourself making progress and achieving, self-esteem will come naturally.

    You'll see how capable and valuable you are. You'll develop internal self-worth. It then won't matter to you what other think about you, and you'll learn to stop comparing yourself to others--the only valid comparison will be who you are today versus yesterday.

    It's hard to resist someone who develops that kind of belief in themselves ;)

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  • Go to the gym and mold your body

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  • Someone will find you and think you're perfect :)

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  • haha don't change for anybody... just don't give a shit bout wot others think :)

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  • Date a really good looking dude.

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  • You could just start volunteering.

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  • I can teach you the secret... .

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What Girls Said 3

  • I grew up feeling like this. Once you kinda get used to Guys admiring and fawning over you, you will accept that you are beautiful and be more confident in your looks

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  • girl it just takes time. I was the same way and now bit by bit I have more self esteem, keep in mind that even gorgeous celebreties have insecurities... like I read somewhere that blake lively is really insecure about her height

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  • tell yourself that you are beautiful!

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