Deep voiced men, can I get your help please?

Hi so I'm currently doing an assignment (Last minute D: ), and I would really appreciate if a deep voiced man would be able to record a voiceover in all his deep voiced glory?

This is what I need read :)
A thousand years ago, one hundred very tiny Gods were created to care for and protect the beards of the brave. Living in the right nostril of their brave hosts as they fulfilled their duty, they would muster up all their might and valour to fight against the evils that infected the magnificent strands of hair that adorns their hero’s face. When the unfortunate event that their hero passes on, the God will move to the first born son, where he himself will create an heir. This child will slowly drain the life force out of their father, using it to develop their own moustache until the day it is fully grown and the father has no life force left to live.

In the present day, only one of these of Gods is left: BOG.

His host? A very dirty and unhygienic man named Griffin, he is not a hero, he is not brave, and he definitely doesn’t care for his beard. And this makes BOG angry and bitter.

BOG grew up alongside his father, whom he loved very much, but his passing left him alone to fight and care for a beard so dirty that he feared it would be an impossible job. Equipped with only a utility belt that held a single sword and baton, tools that had been passed down for generations, BOG vowed to try his best to upkeep his families work and honour.

And so BOG works hard every night, venturing down into the disgusting beard while Griffin is asleep to undo tangled knots, cut off damaged ends and fight off the monstrous food particles left to take over, only returning when his disgusting host awakes. BOG will then spend the day hiding in his nostril muttering to himself and yelling at griffin for the lack of pride he takes in his beard, until he tiredly resigns to the fact that he will never be heard and calms himself by combing and styling his own moustache and beard with the only possessions that belonged to his father – a small comb and scissors, before tiredly falling asleep in soft patch of nose hair.

Thankyou so much to anyone who is able to do this for me! It'll be greatly appreciated :)

Updates:
Anyone able to do it? :(

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What Guys Said 3

  • @DodgersGM

    It's your calling.

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  • you wouldn't understand my accent

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    • Is it an Irish accent? it might be alright! I'm pretty desperate so would be happy with anything

  • What the hell you talkin bout? I think you bought some sketchy sh*t

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