Do you think it's important to tell little girls they're pretty or do you think later it has a negative effect on them or do you think it's neutral?

I know there's some famous person (Marilyn Monroe I think?) who said that every little girl should be told she's pretty even if she isn't. But I kind of wonder if it sets girls up to worry about appearance too much. My mom told me I was pretty all the time when I was a child and whenever people were mean to me she would say "it's because they're jealous because you're so pretty." I worry a lot about my appearance now which may have everything or nothing to do with these comments. So what do you think?

  • It's good to tell little girls they're pretty
    64% (9)59% (13)61% (22)Vote
  • It will have a negative effect later in life
    14% (2)14% (3)14% (5)Vote
  • It doesn't have any effect
    22% (3)27% (6)25% (9)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

0|0
8|14

Most Helpful Guy

  • To some degree I think you should so she'd know for herself. But it shouldn't be just she is pretty. If I had a daughter I would make sure that she's more than just her looks. My friend told me a story where he was at his daughter's dance recital and saw all the dad's had flowers. When he asked one of the dads, he said he wanted to show his daughter how a man should treat her. I think that is the key. If I have a daughter one day I want to help show her how a man should treat her when she's older and I think just telling her she's pretty all the time won't accomplish that. Sorry for the story but this was a really good question.

    0|0
    0|0
    • And this is a great answer! I liked the story :)

    • And I agree with you. I think that's very important as well because the first man a girl has in her life is her dad and his example is so important.

    • Thanks. I actually hope to have a daughter one day so a question like this is more than just a random question like the others I answer.

What Guys Said 13

  • I think it is positive reinforcement and if you notice how often a boy is called a "big strong boy".
    I think everybody worries about their appearance just some are more honest or better at hiding it than others.
    No because if we took it to its extreme logic, we would say that parents shouldn't say I love you to their child because what happens if child stays single their whole life.

    0|0
    0|0
  • *thinks for a second*

    I think it's important to tell a young girl that beauty should not define her.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I voted A, though I think people should not exaggerate... otherwise you get young girls who're obsessed by the idea of "looking perfect" and think that if they don't use loads of make-up or wear expensive clothes they'll be unsuccessful in life :o
    But: so many children are bullied by telling them they're ugly. At such moments it's so important to let them feel that's bullshit and the 98% of girls who'll never win a miss election have many assets to be happy in life :D

    0|0
    0|0
  • Be realistic. Everyone has a positive trait. Focus on one that's actually there. Maybe then people will focus less on physical appearance. If I told a girl she wasn't physically attractive but had a personality bthat made up for it she'd get offonded. Burnie haven't heard of a lot of people get mad when they are told they are beautiful and that's why they are being dated. We need to focus on whatever positives there are. Not make someone worry about something arbitrary like looks.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It is vitally important to instill a sense of confidence in little kids even if you have to state a harmless lie. Once kids begin to understand reality a bit like around 8 or so, then you stop giving them trophies for showing up.

    0|0
    0|0
  • On the whole, it's good. Can it have negative side effects? Yes, but there are few things I can think of that have no negative side effects.

    More importantly, is it good to tell a girl she's smart? Most definitely.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It could go either way. I think it's important that people see them positively but it's more important that they rely on other peoples opinion for validation.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Its good to compliment girls, women, boys, or men every once in a while on their looks, but not often or a lot cause that could feed their ego too much which is bad cause that might lead them to became narcissistic.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Ultimately it's up to you whether you look at yourself as pretty or not pretty. You can't rely on other people and base your opinion of yourself on what they say or don't say. That's a crappy way to live.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't think they should worry about being pretty until at least after puberty

    0|0
    0|0
  • Since the day my daughter was born, i have told her every day she is beautiful

    0|0
    0|0
  • as long as you don't over do it, otherwise it will go to there heads

    0|0
    0|0
  • You should always help improve someone's self image. Not telling them isn't gonna do anything.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 8

  • I do think it's good to build positive body image, especially considering how hard a lot of media tries to make girls be insecure in their body image. So I do support telling girls they're pretty, but more in a "you should be happy with how you look even if others tell you you shouldn't be" sort of way.

    But that said, I definitely don't like how "pretty" is one of the main complements payed to little girls, rather than complementing them on being smart or creative or strong or something like that. I think that is harmful, and causes too much focus on physical attractiveness as a trait determining worth as a person. The issue is that the media already gives plenty of messages telling girls that body image matters but that they should be insecure about their bodies, and there needs to be a way to counter that.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think if my cousin was told regularly that she was beautiful, she would believe it and the bullies wouldn't bother her as much. I think it has mainly positive affects on young girls so shouldn't be stopped. I believe it's better to be over confident, than very shy and insecure.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Mila kunis said in an interview that she was never told she was pretty and grew up not caring about her appearance

    0|0
    0|0
  • It is important, but that shouldn't be the only (or main) complement given to young girls. They should also hear that they are smart, talented, creative, etc. that way they know that they are pretty, but there is more that people notice about a person than just their looks. :)

    0|0
    0|0
  • Like someone else said, it's good to say little girls are pretty, but to not overdo it. I also believe that every little girl is pretty. I believe every woman is pretty. I don't follow Western standards of beauty. Absolutely everyone is beautiful and you are no exception. I actually think people who aren't used to hearing it should be told it more often. I've complimented women who have some type of deformity or injury and the look on their faces was absolutely beautiful to me when I said so. I have never gotten a negative reaction and they have always felt so warm afterwards.

    The problem doesn't lie so much in the compliment rather than the effect. When you are told something too often, it usually stops having meaning to you or you start expecting it, so when you don't get it as often, you feel insecure or poorly about yourself. That's my 2 cents anyway.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think it's better to be realistic and balanced. For example, you can say "you look pretty today." Or even "you look ugly with your hair like that." If you only say "you look pretty" or "your beautiful" it creates all kinds of pathologies. Balance is key.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think it wouldn't have effect unless that was the sole compliments they get. They should also be told they are smart they can achieve their goals with hard work and teach them morals and kindness.

    0|0
    0|0
  • its good to tell them.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...