So, I have two children. I am married and have been since I was 18. No, we didn't have sex before marriage so please save yourself on the whole 'Sex Before Marriage Is A Sin' speech. I am graduating college in next Friday . My husband and I own our house outright. Actually, everything we have is owned out right. I am a social worker, my husband is a lawyer. However, I have recently asked two questions. Both of which I mentioned that I had two children. People automatically assumed that I was a disgrace because I was a single mother whom nobody would want to marry and some have even stated (upon me telling them I was married) that my husband must be rich and that is why I married at such a young age. Mind you, my husband isn't rich. And he wasn't even a lawyer when I married him. I had just graduated high school and he was in his 3rd year of college at this point. Why do people automatically put people into catergories upon hearing a very minimal amount of information about them? I mean, c'mon now! I came to this site because it was fantastic and people were so nice! Now, 6 months in everyone is turning ignorant and hostile! I have been married six years! My son is four and my daughter is two. I am so tired of such ignorance.
Most Helpful Guy
Okay uhm... I haven't seen any of the two questions you mentioned. Regardless, this is just what I thought about all of this:
1. People who talk about the whole "sex before marriage is a sin" kind of crap are religious fundamentalist idiots. They're just as fanatic as the Taliban, just that they don't kill anyone. Not having sex before marriage is about the dumbest thing you can do in my opinion. You wouldn't buy a car without knowing how it drives, you wouldn't get a computer without knowing if it even works properly, you wouldn't "buy a cat in a bag" as we say in German, because it could easily be rabbit or even a heavy stone - so why would you jump into a marriage that is supposed to last forever without even know if you and the other person are a match in sexual aspects? This demonization of sex really gets on my nerves. Nobody would come on the idea that other natural instincts like breathing or eating or pooping are a sin, so why would sex be. So bottomline: even if you had had sex before marriage, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.
2. Even if you were a single mom - so what? There's nothing wrong with that. In fact, I look up to any single mom who does a good job bringing up her children. It's everything but self-understanding. It's very, very tough work and none of these pretentious machos will ever understand what it means to be a single mom.
3. While I personally find it strange to marry at such an early age (this has also cultural reasons I guess), there's also nothing wrong with that. People can marry whenever they want and they're not bad people for marrying at age 18 or 30 or 50. Some people marry one more time at age 90 when their previous partner has died. I personally think that's very cute. Some people decide not to marry at all. After all, marriage is nowadays not more than a piece of paper. I am in a long-term relationship and I don't think anything would change between my girlfriend and me if we were married. We could also have children whether we are married or not. So, either way is totally fine.
I think you just happened to encounter a couple of jerks on here. I think generally speaking, people are very kind on this site.1