Ok so, please, no judging, i'm only 14 and writing calms me down so I wrote this poem. Obviously it needs work, and my vocabulary needs extending, but I just need opinions if its ok, at least so far.
A kingdom with light that gently leaks through the surface.
A vast, new world seen by very few eyes.
Like an enchanted forest, its beauty reaches all.
Although, this is not like any other forest-For it is a forest of colors.
Bright, vibrant, dancing colors.
An unknown territory, waiting to be explored.
A mysterious jewel, a diamond in the rough.
It houses ancient palaces with never before seen life.
It wraps our bodies in its surreal beauties and its presence.
Aside its crystal, rough appearance, once you enter this whole new world, it's gentleness and kindness reaches you.
I'm not so happy with it, its about the ocean if you couldn't tell, I really need practice with writing, this was more of a practice poem I guess.
Most Helpful Girl
You definitely have your way with words!
However at some point I have feeling that it misses the point.
You can't really realize that it is an ocean in the end.
Its like, there are many nice words out in there but when you put them all together you don't really have clear form.
I think that poem should answer some questions. What? Where? Why?
You mostly did answer them, but its like you focused to much on fancy phrases than on actual point of poem (which is describing an ocean). In the end you should've given some hint its ocean. So its like its not finished.
But its really impressive anyway! Just keep writing, you are really talented!0