My mom ruined my own self image?

My mom has basically called me fat and has always pointed out my flaws like my legs, stomach , hair and etc . She has caused me to hate my body so I can't even wear shorts without all of her comments on how ugly my legs were and how I should never go out in public like that. Or I can't stand to wear any bikinis because all I hear is her calling me fat. The thing is that in highschool I got in crazy good shape so I don't look like that but mentally I still think I was that girl (and it mention I was never obese, I was just not toned) . I want to stop thinking this but I don't know if I ever will? Advice?

Updates:
Everyone is telling me to take walks? Okay so maybe I didn't clarify. I workout 6 times a week lifting and conditioning. I'm asking if their are any ways to move on to like my own body because I have it I'm just mentally huanted by what she said to me for years and years

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I know how hard it is to shrug off the opinion of your mother, simply because of the significance she has to your life, but please try to understand that possibly the reason she says this stuff is because she may be jealous that you're able to flaunt your body and she isn't

    A lot of older women get jealous of younger people, even if it may be their own daughters, it sometimes reminds them of what they used to be able to do and cannot anymore or

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    • Maybe so.. I just want to move past it but her words huant me

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    • Like a therapist? No I haven't I'm so shut down on it but maybe

    • Yeah, like a therapist :) I've always believed that the best way to release negativity is to open up about it, so if you're comfortable enough then maybe give it some consideration

What Guys Said 6

  • First let me tell you.. your mom is 1000x better than my mom. She's the "my child is the best in everything" kind of mom. Since childhood she has always told me that i look great, i am perfect etc.. and since then, i believed it. To what extent? To being the stupidest looking guy in my group. I have 0 fashion sense, my haircut was the plain zero size till the last year. Wore nothing but plain t-shirts and saggy jeans and a pair of sandals. didn't take proper care of skin and it's very oily and i look older than my age. People say i look 24-25 although I am 19. This totally destroyed my dating life because girls just didn't find me attractive. I am a nice and polite person in general and that's what they said. But not attractive. It has been 3 years since i realized this but I kept saying myself that eventually some girl will like me. But a year passed since I realized that if i wait, i am fucked ( actually not.. the irony). So I started to finally ignore my mother and listen to my friends (always have been doing the opposite) and I got a girlfriend a year back ( we broke up because we both went to different cities for college). But I finally got out. Now I am changing myself, listening to friends' constructive criticism and following advice. The point of all this is that, we are not perfect, we always have some scope to improve. Listen to your mother as an advice. Just don't take it to your heart. Ask your friends that how much of it is true, and start to improve ourself. We tend to overlook our flaws when we look in the mirror, use your mother as a guiding beacon, keep improving.

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  • Develop your own sense of self worth and stop blaming your mother. If you are fat, was she so wrong to tell you? Go take control and lose it and exercise. Take action then recognize your worth from within. Never blame others... that is always the wrong answer.

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  • Your mom might be insecure, but you also may have gotten out of shape. Start going on walks and doing small exercises.

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  • Maybe she is right. Loved ones sometimes have to tell the hard turths. Check your BMI. Is she right? If not, well that is just a mom wanting you to be your best. Take it for what it is. But you are responsible for your own self image. Suck it up.

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  • Start working out.

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    • I've been working out since freshman year of highschool 6 days a week- lifting, conditioning, and etc . And I'm still on this schedule.. But she has ruined it to the point where no matter how skinny or muscular I get I can't find myself to feel good about myself because of her

    • Hmm, I suppose you just need to learn to have thicker skin.

  • well like it or not your mom probably made you a better person because of it

    if you still think with the mindset of a fatgirl but have the body of a toned girl you are one of the few types of women i will date... the hot girl that hasn't been over hyped by her looks it's pretty rare and fucking amazing!

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    • Yeah for some reason people are still commenting that I'm fat? Yeah that's me. When I start feeling happy about it is the real question

    • well i don't see a picture so i can't say i mean for all i know is you were 700 pounds and now you're only 300 haha

      but anyways i should also say every woman is insecure of her body unless she's a pornstar or something (but nobody want that anyways)

What Girls Said 1

  • Your mom is telling you that your fat because she cares about you and wants you to try to loose weight... You should go run 🏃 or walk...

    If you still hate your own body even if you are not fat.. I would recommend you to go get hypnosis... Because its all in the mind..

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