He is 38 soon and still living at home?

My partner is due to turn 38 in a couple of weeks, he still lives with his mum. He moved out when he went to university in Oxford however he has lived with his mum for the past 5ish years since he got back. He hasn't had a serious relationship in years but has been 'seeing people'.
We were friends for a few years before dating and we became official a few months ago, he often comes to visit me at my parents however never sleeps over. When we spend the night together it's at his mums.
I've been considering moving in with my friend as I feel like I could take that step now, at 23. I don't think we are ready as a couple to live together as he needs a lot more space than I do and I don't think it would be healthy to live together so soon. I am concerned that his mum will cook him dinner most nights, she does his washing and sometimes she even tidies his room!!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • One side of it: Both the job and housing markets are fucked. His parents' generation had great benefits in the form of a booming economy and cheap housing, and have now inflated the price of housing of the reach of their children. Well paid permanent jobs are hard to find, rents and mortgages can be astronomical unless you're willing to endure a long commute, and being single means HUGE bills you have to handle all yourself - rent, utilities, food, clothing, it's all on you. Living with your parents can mean that money is saved towards eventually getting your own place.

    Flip side: His mother cooks and cleans for him! He's either lazy, has no pride, or doesn't know how.

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What Guys Said 3

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  • Does he work?

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    • Full time..

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    • I think you have some great points. He is someone that likes his own space, he likes to have time on his own and play online play station with his friend. I have no problem with these things other than I don't feel we communicate our wants/needs enough ie his need for space. He will distance himself instead of speaking to me and I will hold back on how it makes me feel to avoid freaking him out. I'm beginning to wonder if living with his mum enables him to shy away from responsibility and enables him an escape in his other relationships?

    • I think moving in with his mum is a bad move. I think you need to find out how easily he will consider moving out. If moving out is out of the question, you need to rethink this relationship. Sounds like a 38 year old teenager to me.

  • More and more people are choosing to live with their parents well into adulthood. It's sad, really. People need to learn independence in order to thrive in life.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I would really prefer if men who can live away from their parents, do live away from their parents.

    I like that symbol of independence.

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  • Its not a problem unless he expects his mom to do all the work for him

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