How do I know if I'm a narcissist or if my needs aren't being met?

I've been feeling a bit needy in my relationship of only 3 months. He stopped compliments and hardly ever notices new clothing I wear or when i dress up extra special. I mentioned it and he seemed annoyed saying he's a man of action and i should already be confident in knowing how he fees about me. Is it just me being needy or worse, narcissistic?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I understand why you'd feel the way you're feeling, and it MAY be that he isn't paying enough attention to you or giving you the support (i. e., compliments) that you need. But it ALSO may be that he has stopped looking at you on the outside and has grown to "see" you on the inside - your personality, your heart, your mind, your attitude, etc. and as a result his thoughts about you are more "deep" and less "shallow."

    Anyway, the RIGHT thing to do is to communicate with him. Let him know that him noticing your efforts to LOOK beautiful and sexy for him are a big deal to you, and that you really need and appreciate when he notices them and communicates that to you. He may simply have no clue that this is important to you (many women say they dress up for THEMSELVES, and perhaps his last girlfriend was that way or something).

    The point is: you are responsible for communicating your needs and desires to him, and in a way that he can understand. If you have done this, and he STILL isn't responding, THEN you definitely have a problem with him not appreciating you or valuing you enough to pay enough attention to you. But if you haven't had this conversation (in a POSITIVE way), then you are just as much to blame for this as he is. Relationships require communication, and that's a two-way street. Anytime you catch yourself thinking "he should just KNOW", you are wrong. He is not a mind-reader, and as women have VERY different viewpoints on things like this, he can't know what your views are until you've shared them with him.


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What Guys Said 1

  • If you think you're a narcissist then you probably aren't. It does sound like your needs aren't being met by your boyfriend

    • I read somecwhere that the opposite may be true?

    • I don't know, I don't think a narcissist would even care if they were

    • Ok☺ thank you!

What Girls Said 2

  • No, you're most definitely not being needy or narcissistic. Sometimes its nice to be reminded that they care and find you attractive. All women need a little reassurance now and then. If its only been three months, he shouldn't be at the point of not noticing when you dress up, thats usually years down the road. I'd be concerned about that, and maybe discuss that with him.

    • Thank you. Those are great reasons for me to discuss this with him. I hope it goes well.

  • Needy. I've dealt with narcissistic. Thats not it. Its fine to feel the way your feeling.