How do you deal with haters?

My bigest dream is to become a famous flute player; to play in orchestras, conduct music, and play beautifully. My family and sisters often tell me that I'm a horrible player and to give up. It crushes me everytime they say this stuff, and I try to tell them to stop, but my parents care towards my sisters and take their side. They've also crushed some of my other dreams, so I keep having to change, and every time it's another disappointment. What can I do to make them understand?

They don't like anything that I do, and no matter how many times I talk to them they assume the wrong thing and turn against me. I try to ignore them but it hurts. I've had thoughts, about cutting myself again from their comments, but I don't want to go back to my depressed self, I've gotten so much better.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm sorry you have to go through this.

    The thing about life is that we are put in situations that are hard/upsetting/painful and we always have choices on what we want to do with those situations. It already sounds like you made the choice to not give up on yourself and to not go back to your depressed self. which by the way is a strong thing to say considering with what your dealing with. having your family reject you and be unsupportive is extremely hurtful. one thing I learned in life is you can't change other people, you can only change yourself. so if they want to bring down your dreams, let them. in fact, don't even tell them your dreams. keep your dreams to yourself, and never stop dreaming, never, and then one day you'll be on stage, playing the flute, in the orchestra, conducting music and they will be the ones in the wrong. you are not wrong. don't stop dreaming. if you can imagine it, if you can feel it, you can be it. stand strong, because you are strong. and in the end, all the bullshit you have to deal with and all the struggle and all the pain will make your stronger, make your more determined, and make you even more beautiful on the inside and out. god bless you. xx

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    • God bless you too. Thank you so much.

What Guys Said 4

  • Use their hate as fuel and motivation to prove them wrong. I don't know how your personality is, but if I feel I can do something while everyone else tell me that I can't do it; I instantly use their negativity as fuel to prove them wrong. One thing I'll never do is admit defeat and let their words bring me down.

    Also stop giving up on your dreams due to your family's criticism, because that isn't hurting anyone but yourself. When you develop a passion for something, don't let ANYONE tell you what you can or can't do, because at the end of the day it's your life, not theirs. Your life is not for them to control, its for you to control and the more you let people control it the more depressed you will be.

    Remember, the only time you lose is when you give up.

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  • Put some music on blast and scream "FUCK THAT SHIT!!!" Seriously, do that.
    My mother never believed in me, always bringing me down, and it made me angry and upset, but you know what? Fuck that, if she doesn't like what I do, cool, I just hope she doesn't expect me to give her something in return when I make it.

    In HS I was about to fail Math and repeat the whole year cause of it, my mother always told me to get outside help cause I wasn't gonna make it alone, but when I did she came to me and congratulate me. Yes, she congratulate me, but I didn't give two shits about that, cause she didn't believe in me from the beginning, so I just said nothing to her.

    Do you, do what you want and don't give a fuck about what others say, cause they're just gonna make you more and more unhappy.

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  • I ignore them

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  • You just ignore the shit out of them and tell them to fuck off and mind their own business

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What Girls Said 1

  • Put this song on full blast!:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkHe7syl7b0
    ..."And it goes in one ear and right out the other
    People talking shit so you know we never bother
    It goes in one ear and right out the other
    I'm only playing music 'cause you know I fucking love it
    It goes in one ear and right out the other..."

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