How to get over abuse?

I was in a four year relationship that started going sour at the two year mark when he cheated on me. He also began to emotionally, and physically abuse me till I finally left him. Almost a year later and I'm still haunted by it. How do I let go? What are some things I can do to get over it? It's hard because he's in my group of friends and isn't leaving for college till August I think. I live in a small town so it's hard not to bump into him. I just want to be able to leave it all in the past, so that my new relationship can grow.

Poll Question: Should I seek help to a therapist?

  • Seek Professional Help
    100% (8)75% (6)88% (14)Vote
  • You're able to take care of this on your own
    0% (0)25% (2)12% (2)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Self healing is greatest ally you ever had. If you rely cops to protect you from harm, what good are your knives, a taser, or pepper spray? Can't rely on just outside help, Professional help may or may not have walked in your shoes but there advices may or may not help. 50/50. vs your heart, your instincts, your intuition, your spirit, your courage, and your ability to recover knows way more that you are doubting. Let's say you had a heart break, no amount advice will take away the memories, the pain, nor the solitude it brings.

    You will see the guy you have feelings for and you may or may not engage in activities or conversation but you cannot or mustn't let your feeling or emotions get involved. Time heals and you'll get less and less attracted to him the more you admit this not the life you choose. You must submit yourself to being a better you and not look back.

    So my solution is not rush it, don't give in emotionally to him and don't invest your feeling in him and ignore all else. You came this far but only you can make change in your heart.

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What Guys Said 4

  • I strongly encourage you to seek professional help. I'm so sorry you were treated so badly, both mentally and physically. I'm just glad you're out of that horrible situation now.

    But, as you said, letting go can be very hard to do, and learning how to love yourself and avoid attracting and being attracted to abusive people is not something you can just pull off overnight.

    There are counselors and doctors that have spent many years learning how to help people in your situation and also treating them. I've been going to therapy for over 10 years and it has helped me immensely.

    I also believe in support groups, which are free, where you can meet other people who have been in your situation, and there's lots to learn from them, too.

    I wish you the best of luck and I'm glad you're away from that asshole. Don't be afraid to seek help, because it will only help you.

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  • You should definitely seek professional help on this. Just cut all contact with him.

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  • I would seek help of a therapist - I would surf net for info, support groups, helplines

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  • You can seel help or take care on your own my confronting the a-hole. Let him know that what kind of sh*t he is.

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What Girls Said 1

  • you need to seek professional help dear

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