Is it ok to punch a gf's father if he punch you first?

That guy obviously never liked me from the start. However, this time he took it too far after we had an argument by have the nerves to punch me. I ended up punching him back and well my girlfriend saw it. She was speechless.

Personally I don't see what's wrong see. This is a guy that's nearly my height (I'm 6'3 and slightly less than an inch shorter than me) and a even a couple pounds heavier than me. So it's fair game to me. Fortunately for me, I'm a fit fighter and my punch came harder than his. I busted his lip a bit.

Updates:
Someone in her family said I should have been the bigger person. Yeah right, what about him? Did he really thought I was going to be scared of him? I can date whoever I want to. The only person that was a say as to decide if she wants to continue being my girlfriend is her, not this jerk of her father.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • After years of being taught to abhor all violence, that "two wrongs don't make a right", that it's better to be passive and docile than to retaliate, of course the majority of people will say it's not okay, women especially.

    I would have done the same thing, and probably worse. Nobody hits me then gets away with it, I'm nobody's punch bag.

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    • she broke up with me this afternoon... her father won't pay for her education if she continues dating me

    • I mean yes he was a total jerk but I still ended up losing. I lost her too.

    • With a Father like that it was doomed to fail anyway.

What Girls Said 9

  • The old saying goes, as everyone knows... Two wrongs never make a right.
    However, with him throwing the First punch, with you Throwing one back, is showing dear ol' dad... He is Nor right and that you will defend yourself and your own Rights here, dear.
    Maybe now, with you having 'Busted his lip a bit,' he will show more respect in the future and may even now... Respect you in his own Right.
    Hopefully, being it may also seem you are going to be part of the future, eventually you can both come out of your corners, shake hands and Be.. Friends.
    Even though 'Someone in her family said I should have been the bigger person,' I don't agree. Once he starts bullying you, he will always feel he has the Upper hand as a man to Continue throwing his left hooks.
    If this has caused a problem with his doting daughter, then maybe it's time to find out where you and her really stand.
    Good luck. xx

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  • It's never okay to punch someone, even if they punched you first. Two wrongs don't make a right.
    What you should have done was just leave the situation, walked out. Since you punched back, you look bad since he's part of her family. If you had walked away, you would have left her dad looking like an idiot as a result of him being the one to throw a punch.

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    • The reason I punched him back is because he's as big and strong as me (probably slightly more if he has been more skillful) and seemed like fair game. I have been once long ago backhanded hard by an ex girlfriend when I was in HS; in that case no I didn't hit back but did cursed her out.
      My girlfriend is still startled but hopefully in days, she'll be calmer about this situation. I've tried to do my best and unfortunately he never liked me since day 1.

    • What do you mean by it being 'fair game' though? Would you be interested in actually duking it out with him then, last man standing?

      Sounds like pretty animal-like behaviour. In the end, he's your girlfriend's father. I agree it was completely out of line for him to punch you, but you were just as bad by sinking to his level. And regardless of what your girlfriend ends up deciding, her father certainly won't like you now.

  • damn! how does your girlfriend feels about it?

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    • She feels terrible and shocked that it got to that point. But as mentioned, this was fair game. It would have been different if this was a very old weak fart or some midget, in that case I might have pushed and cursed him. This guy was even match for me but unlike him, I'm a better fighter.

  • Well, in my opinion, that's never okay. You don't punch an elder, especially not your girlfriends father. It's one of those lines you don't cross because that's an entirely new level of disrespect. There's going to be a bit of controversy between her and her father because of his disapproval of you and her longing to be with you and it's going to truly tear her apart. But I wish you the best of luck handling this situation.

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    • He wasn't an elderly man. My girlfriend told me, he was only 17 when he became a father. We're both in our early 20's so that's not too old.

    • By elder, I mean anyone older in general. What he did was 200% wrong, so don't think that I'm sitting here taking his side, no. He shouldn't have punched you, nor should he have been talking to you in a disrespectful manner. But at the same time, it was not your place to retaliate in my own opinion, because now, that just opens a can of worms on the father, your girlfriend, her family, and even yourself. But again, just my thoughts.

  • Did she break up with you?

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    • yes, she did today... her father will stop paying for her education if she continues dating me

  • I am a pacifist who always admires HUGE-ripped-shredded dates of mine that can always be the less ego driven and walk away from insecure men with o. o. c Napoleon complexes.

    MUCH harder to do.

    ..

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    • In terms of walking away for me it depends on who hit me, if that person is fit and as stronger as me or more. If it's an elderly man or a midget well I'm not going to punch him back, same as if it's a short girl. Long ago, I did once got backhanded hard by a past girlfriend just for breaking up, I didn't reply back in that case but curse her out.
      This guy however is a person fair in both size and weight. He's been a total jerk from the start and always disrespecting me.

    • Different men = different reactions :)
      He provoked you and you gave him the exact reaction he wanted.
      Imagine his shock if you hadn't :P

  • He should NOT have punched you, though punching him back surely didn't help

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  • what exactly did you say to him that made him punch you?

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    • Screw him. He started bsing me like always (he never liked me from the start). All I said is ''Look mister, you might be her father but if there is someone that can decide who wants to continue dating me is your daughter, I'm sick of your disrespect''. This is when he just punched me.

    • you must be really proud. is she going to remain your girlfriend?

    • Well proud isn't the word but I just don't feel sorry for him. I don't regret it either. I think my girlfriend will calm down in the following days. She's startled, which I understand but she knows well her father has been a jerk to me for the longest. That was the reaching point, when he proceeded to punching me.

  • I'd break up with him if any boyfriend punched my father.
    No matter what circumstances.

    Is she going to stay with you?

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    • nope, she's not. She has even deleted me on my facebook and other contact list. She broke up today in the afternoon. I thinking of making things right just when I read her breaking up message on my email.

What Guys Said 8

  • I think your problem here is how your girlfriend feels - Sort it out with her - Then worry about the moral implications of the episode afterwards

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  • Look on the bright side. Since you'll never have to have anything to do with him ever again your father-in-law problems are well and truly over.

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  • Shit!! I'd swing back too.. he probably thought he could away with that bs cause you're dating his daughter, he's ass needed to be checked.
    No matter how mad he is deep down he respects you for it but more important than his feelings are those of your girls.. AFTER this incident because I wouldn't take this kind of disrespect. All you can hope for is that at the most she's upset but understands and forgives and moves on.

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  • Well, if he punched you, defending yourself is fair. However, you will not endear yourself to your girlfriend and it puts her in an awkward position. If she has to choose between your father and you, she will never be happy with her decision, either way.

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  • I am not sure I would be proud of the damage but if you were attacked then that would make it reasonable for you to retaliate, no rational person could argue with that.

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    • Yes indeed it was reasonable. I retaliate depending on who hit me. I wouldn't be punching someone that's a lot weaker or an elderly person. This guy was even in size and seemed as strong as me. That's fair game to me.

    • While what you said is harsh, it doesn't justify physical violence. I believe you are in the right here if you acted in self-defense.

  • Yes good on you for doing that.

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  • I'd give him face and be the bigger man.

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  • You can fuck him if he fuck you first.

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    • Exactly. He is as strong and big as me. It was fair game. If it was a weak old fart or midget, I would have push him off and cursed him out but this fucker deserved it.

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