Why does it seem that some guys here become bitter after a bad experience?

My father was a total jerk and abusive to my mother years ago (now he's toned it down with age but sometimes is annoying) and I still think there are some great guys out there. I haven't lost all hope.

By logic, since the first man in my life failed me and abused my mother, I should be thinking all men are like that but I'm not. So if I haven't lost hope why are some of those guys already giving up?

Updates:
I've have already seen question such as ''Why do women treat good guys like crap'' or ''Why are women mean'', etc. Hey shouldn't I be also giving up and asking the same thing? Instead, I do want to find the right guy and have hopes I will.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Maybe I can clear things up. Yes, some people have a bad experience and then become bitter towards in entire gender which is not healthy, at least in my opinion.

    However, as I have talked about before there is a bias in favor of women in both social situations and the legal system to the point that if a girl falsely accuses a man of rape or harassment people will tend to believe her even if she has no evidence. This as resulted in way too many guys getting put in prison, losing their jobs or getting kicked out of college for something that never happened.

    Then there is family court. Men almost always get screwed over in the event of a divorce. They lose half of their net worth, a portion of the income every month (alimony) and if kids are involved the women almost always get custody and the guy gets stuck paying for child support and in 30% of these cases he is paying for child support for a child he THINKS is he but in reality it is not.

    More and more guys are starting to see that the benefits that used to come from relationships are no longer there and they riskers are too high. So they opt out.

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    • Accusing someone of rape when it's more than likely a girl who had regretful, pity sex has got to be the most sickest lie ever. Ignore the guy or even call him a loser but to say that you were raped when you weren't, that should be a 10 year-old sentence. But those girls are few, that's not the majority of our gender.

      As for marriage, I thought the guy by now was signing a prenub.

    • Those girls may be in the minority, but there are more of them then you would think. I was falsely accused of rape, lucky the girl forgot to take down the selfies she put up of us on facebook and her post about how she had an amazing night. Then a girl I was dating slept with her ex then accused him of raping her so I would forgive her. A quick google search will bring up a lot of links.

      Prenubs may help a bit, but not enough that it would make me feel safe. If they find even the smallest mistake on the agreement it can be thrown out.

What Guys Said 2

  • Most of them aren't bitter because of ONE bad experience but a LIFETIME of bad experiences. They've been dumped and cheated on and rejected by women ever since they hit puberty and started asking girls to go out with them. So yeah, try to put yourself in their shoes and realize that us men get the raw deal sometimes too. No one wants to talk about that though. No one wants to help us with OUR problems.

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    • In order to get help, someone had to seek for help themselves. That's why there are therapists, psychologists, counselors, etc. It gets to the point that if someone is ranting constantly, their ''poor me'' story every single day then it would be annoying whether it's coming from a man or woman.

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    • nor even being those women that did that

    • It might not be your fault but it is usually the fault of numerous women in their lives. I'm not saying you have to date them, but don't give them any shit.

  • A lot of these posts are passing phase after breakups or a bad bout of lonliness - I don't think deep down they feel like that.

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What Girls Said 1

  • It may not seem like it, but men actually feel emotions much deeper then women.

    I can't post links but google "big boys don't cry but deep down" blah blah, it's an article by dailymail check it out.

    Its been proven that women are much better at dealing with and understanding emotions, sometimes often fleeting from one emotion to the next, which is why women can handle having their hearts broken and getting over a relationship much faster than men and why most men are so reluctant to share their emotions in case they are again misunderstood or hurt.

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