WOULD THIS END UP AS A GOOD STORY?

A girl named Sierra, suddenly disappeared one day without any trace and was never found. Years later, a boy (unnamed yet), more like a loner, who keeps everything to himself, sees a reflection of a girl sad on the clear water of a fountain. It turns out to be Sierra. The boy is freaked out and before Sierra can speak, he runs away, due to what just happened (seeing a reflection of a girl without an actualy body on the other side).

Eventually he retuns and slowly becomes less feaful of her. He considers her a ghost, but she denies it. Sierra says that, a person cursed her. She is trapped inside the water and seeks freedom. Sierra is slowly dying as every day and night passed. The guy determines to set her free, but doesn't know how. He searches everywhere for an answer, something that could help him set her free and be happy. He gives her the bad news, and Sierra starts to lose it. She breaks down, sobbing that she wold have to suffer for the rest of her life. (Take note that their friendship turns into a serious relationship throughout this story). Later on, they both find the solution (idk how yet) and Sierra could finally be free. He looks directly at the water and puts his hand in the water. Sierra reaches her hand to the world in front of her, and her hand comes through the water, and her entire body does too. Sierra hugs the male tightly and have their romantic moment :3

Note that the male of the story changes his personality through the story as well. Please be honest and please give story advice and leave me plot ideas if you want. And I would appreciate if you leave an idea below for how they lifted the curse. Thank you! 👍👌

  • Yes
    91% (10)25% (1)73% (11)Vote
  • No
    9% (1)75% (3)27% (4)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • maybe the dude is one of those assholes who don't care about anyone until he met her. it was her eyes that changed his heart.
    this may sound weird or harsh. i thought its better than nothing. the only way to lift the curse if he 'sacrifices' his life in water fountain to save her. drowned himself or something. she becomes free, just in time to save him and drag him out. make the scene so emotional, she's crying, doing cpr. he's turning blue or something. she tried, tried. she stopped, crying in front of his face, (since she was in a curse for so long, she had some curse power in her to be able to save him). maybe her tear or kiss makes him come back to life. he coughs and then sighs, he would say wow you are so beautiful. she smiles and kisses him. (to make it look rushed to drown, the curse makes her disappear forever, the last moon in one of those special decade or 5 year span thing, he has to save her before the moon hits the horizon)
    i dunno! let me know if you like it or nah. i look forward reading it!

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What Guys Said 2

  • It could be great with many interesting topics of humanity, love, and self discovery, but it doesn't sound like the book for me. You can turn this into something really good, but for now it is kind of generic and stale. Once you add some spice to it the story will be gold! Keep up the good work and never stop imagining!

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  • Real talk, sounds very generic.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Oh that sounds awesome! Which i'm really picturing it while listening to this song. :D

    www.youtube.com/watch

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    • Though with the freeing her part seems to easy. Maybe try to add more to that. Like if she could remember who put her in there to begin with. Plus can she leave the fountain? Like if he scoops up some of it' water she can go with him to places? Maybe the journey to finding who cursed her could add more to it and make the story a little longer and more interesting?

    • Plus what time period would you set this story in?

  • Wow this sounds so good! Please link me to the story after, I'd love to read it!

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  • yes its good!

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