I become attached too fast?

I'm not trying to play the victim, I guess I'm just venting a little. Sorry for the essay 😊!

I really hate the way my parents treated me growing up. My dad favoured my little brother and hardly, if ever, paired any attention to me. He's always made my little brother seem like the perfect child, like everyone should aspire to be like him. Once when I was 15 or 16 I was in bed trying to sleep, my dad came in, dragged me outside and locked me out. I can't remember why he tried to kick me out, I know it was over something insignificant though.

My older brother had anger issues and until I was 12 would attack me whenever he felt the urge. My mum always took my brothers side, I'll never understand why, so it just encountered him. She went by the 'tough love' method of parenting and has always been very manipulative and it can be hard to tell if she's playing one of her little games or not.

There are many other incidents where my parents have treated me unfairly.

Since my parents were preoccupied with my brothers, I never received enough attention when I was growing up. Now I've noticed that whenever I date a guy, I always become attached wayyy too early, like after a couple of weeks of dating. Obviously this makes me look like a psychopath (lol), guys always pick up on it and end up leading me on (the last time it ended in a sexual assault). I'm basically over it but I really don't want something like that to happen again. I guess I just want to know how I can stop getting attached so fast and how I can sort out my issues with getting attention. (By the way I usually because attached pretty fast with potential friends too).

Thanks for your opinions 😊😊


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Most Helpful Guy

  • When you don't have a lot of other meaningful relationships in your life naturally you'll be more eager for validation. I know them feels.

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    • That's a good point. I really don't feel like I have enough meaningful relationships with people at the moment.

    • Thanks for MHO.

What Guys Said 2

  • I grew up the same way I'm the youngest though and wasn't wanted we didn't have Enof money a lot of the time to eat so I would have to leave for a couple of days at a time and I fall to fast for people who show me a little affection but I'm to shy to act on it so when the time passed and only one girl stayed by my side p. s. 2 years I know she will never leave and I will never love another just give it some time don't rush :)

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    • Thanks for replying 😊, I'll definitely try to slow things down a bit

  • Wow it's like I'm looking at the girl version of my childhood. My mother was really close to her first born, my older brother. My dad (married my mom when I was 5 and adopted my older brother and I) he had a son with my mom and he became my fathers golden child. I was left the one who could never do right, physically and mentally abused by both parents, treated like shit by both brothers and had a shitty, hard childhood. Now all I want is acceptance from people. I wish I could message you. We could possibly help each other.

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    • Wow, I didn't think I'd meet someone on here who had been through something similar, really wasn't expecting that. How have you managed to cope so far?

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    • I gave up trying to get their approval a while ago. Until I was about 17 or 18 I'd try to get it but now I just can't be bothered. I know it sounds really pessimistic but I just started to feel like no matter what I did I would never get their approval, especially with my dad, he usually tries to turn anything he can into a negative.

      What about you? How is your relationship with your family now?

    • Extreamly touchy. I have reached the point where I have no bones about telling them to go jump in a lake if I tire of their crap. I do still secretly wish for approval but know full well I will never get it.

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