Do you believe in the saying of "having a thicker skin"?

I am somewhat sensitive I guess... and my parents always tell me I need to have a thicker skin! But, I don't see why? people just shouldn't be mean in my opinion- im not sure if this immature thinking, but let me know what you think! 🌸😊


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think that's an extremely entitled view. You expecting others to 'not be mean' and cater to you and your own personal needs is childish and unrealistic.

    A) Why should they care about you?
    B) Why do you think they should care about you?
    C) Why do you feel entitled to be treated kindly but not feel obligated to prepare yourself for harshness?

    The victim mentality is strong. Do you know how to not be a victim? You fight back, and in this case fighting back would be not letting things affect you/not expecting people to always be kind to you. You're a human; You're not an invincible being. Besides, if you're as thin skinned as you say, then I'm assuming you over-react to lots of things, thus blurring the line between rude and polite. Hell, guaranteed what I said was probably "too mean" for your tastes.

    Someone could say I have the littlest dick on the planet, but me dismissing them is only going to anger them more than their shit attempt at an insult affected me. It's not hard to do, you're just a pretty woman so you've never had people tell you to shut up/correct whatever idiocy you've spewed because typically they want to fuck you.

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    • It's my parents and sister that say the mean things though so that's why it sucks

    • So what? Your parents and sisters are only human. My dad tells me I'm worthless and my mom said she never wanted me, what exactly do your parents say to you that's so harsh? Do they make jokes about how your farts stink or summat? Stop farting so openly. Dismissing people's shit is all you can do when you know it's not true, and if it is true then admitting it to yourself is all you can do and reflect on it. Stop expecting people to raise you up all the time and realize that everyone is capable of hurting you, even your parents and siblings.

      Again, I feel like they're right. I can almost guarantee that they don't say extremely harsh things to you and you're just hyper-sensitive. What exactly do they say, verbatim, that is so harsh?

What Guys Said 7

  • "people just shouldn't be ________________" is not realistic indeed:
    Society is already happy if it hasn't to jail as many people as our jails can contain. According to the U. S. Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS), 2,266,800 adults were incarcerated in U. S. federal and state prisons, and county jails at year-end 2011 – about 0.94% of adults in the U. S. resident population. Additionally, 4,814,200 adults at year-end 2011 were on probation or on parole.

    www.washingtonpost.com/.../

    Thus hoping that everyone will be kind is an illusion.

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  • Some people are what's called highly sensitive person. It's not a disorder but rather a physical difference that affects about 15-20% of the human population. Could be your are like this. hsperson. com if you are interested in more about this.

    Anyway, I agree that it's sad that people should have to develop thicker skin.

    But there is a secret. We don't really need to make ourselves harder. We only need to make ourselves a hard shell if we have something fragile to protect. And this fragile thing is usually the ego. If we develop empathy and understanding it's possible to transform this fragile ego into more, and by this we don't need a hard shell that protects it. This way you will instead become "transparent" and all the negative things you previously made bounce off yourself, instead passes right thorough.

    Not sure if my ramblings makes any sense to you but that it the path I've taken.

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    • You can ask any psychologist or whatever. High sensitivity doesn't exist. It's just some sort of trend and there's never been any research to it.

    • Okay. I guess it's just a trend that what defines a HSP fits very well on me and it helped me to realize why certain situations was harder for me than others or why I react in certain ways.
      HSP is a new concept, hence no long term research has been made in that area. No research is not the same as it's not real. People who live this every day of their lives know it's very real.

  • I would say have a thicker skin bit in the sense ignore anyone who upsets you

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  • Some people need tough love. Some people need to realize that getting upset solves nothing. Not saying that's you but some people think just sitting around crying is a good choice in how to spend their time.

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    • Yeah I get what you mean!!

    • There's nothing wrong with being sensitive. I'm a pretty thick skinned person so being around more sensitive people is a nice change of pace for me every now and then. Just as long as you use your sensitivity to be productive. But some people simply can't help it. I've seen people just completely freeze up if some emergency happened like they were deer in the headlights and then after the emergency they just completely came apart. I think it's just the psychology of some people,

    • Right! That's a pretty smart way to look at it!

  • maturity as one man described it to me..."is the overlapping and buildup of emotional scars"

    this is very true

    the more experience you have with pain the less it hurts... the same reason why breaking up with your first love hurt the most

    maturity is being able to deal with BS and keep going

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  • No I think you're right o be sensitive, but if you're crying about burnt fries then it's a little too much

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  • We live in a world of survival so it makes more sense to adapt with a thicker skin then hope that everyone else will become nicer at the cost of survival.

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What Girls Said 4

  • It is kind of immature thinking. You can't change other people, you can only change yourself and people will adapt to that. That's literally the best life advice I can give and always keep it in mind. I'm also a sensitive person by heart. Always been, but I've learned how to live with it and now I got a thicker skin.
    For me doing kickboxing really helped me. Thick skin begins by gaining confidence. Not over your appearance, but as how you are as a person. It's easier said than done ofcourse, but not impossible. Also when you have more confidence, people will start acting nicer around you. So you will not only create a wall of confidence, you will also grow more trust in people.
    You could search on the internet for some tips about gaining confidence and in that way create a thicker skin. Make sure it's about confidence as a person and not in appearance. People often think confidence is only confidence about a person's looks.

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  • Having thick skin is a life skill because there are bullies, jerks, psychopaths, sociopaths, gangs, political power abuses, criminals with a badge and you can't let them all hurt your feelings every second.

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  • I know what you mean, its easier said then done. I think it means to try to not like certain things bother you like insults or someone acting rude

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    • I guess a good way to look at is through the saying "turning a blind eye" - just not paying attention or awknowledging it

    • Well thats not easy to do either but if you can then thats good too xD

  • Yes I do believe in it. Lots of sensitive people can't take criticism. They also have no sense of humor at all, they lash out at everything they find offensive even if it's just a joke. A good example of this is the users on GAG, they're very sensitive about things. The only thing I can tell them is "grow thicker skin" or "who the fuck cares what people think about you?".

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