Is it weird for some guys to be so emotionless?

I asked this question before but got no replys­čśô so I'm rewriting in, hoping the question is more interesting enough to get answered.

My boyfriend doesn't seem to have any emotions. He's not compassionate, affectionate, and when his favorite uncle passed away, he couldn't even shed a tear. He said he felt like something was wrong with himself. I do believe it's because as a child he wasn't shown any affection. His grandmother took care of all of her grandchildren and since he was one of the eldest he kinda did what he wanted. At age 12, he literally made his own decisions. For Christ sake, he dropped out of school in 7th grade. I think his past is catching up to him. I thought maybe I can try to teach him to be compassionate and show lots of love but he's 29, I don't know if it's possible anymore.
I love him a lot but sometimes I feel like even in his past relationships, since he's been hurt, I feel like he's scared to give me love. He said I'm everything he ever wanted but he doesn't act like it. I tried talking to him but he said before he doesn't know what to do. It's just hard to show emotion.

My biggest fear is that one day I'll give up and move on because he seems to not show emotion towards me. I'll walk away and he won't care enough to try and keep me. He'll just let me leave.
Do do you think there's anything I can do?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • This sounds a lot like my ex... he was an only child so he basically did whatever he wanted and he could do no wrong. He got into a lot of trouble as a teen and did some really crazy sh*t that got him sent to boot camp for 2 years so he couldn't graduate like a normal kid.. his dad was abusive with him and his parents were self centered. I think this affected him pretty bad. I fell in love with him because we had so many things in common, same music, same dress style, same lifestyle, same friends. He was much older but we felt an instant connection and I moved in with him about 2 months later.. we had an amazing relationship things went so well at first but he caught a case and he was different after, like colder.. I have a lot of love for the guy always did but I think I was trying to "save him" and it was out of my control. He has things he needs to address and until then he's not ready for me but I'm still here for him and will be waiting when he is. I realize I met him for a reason and he's helped me in many ways. So I'm still there. I know he's sad but tells me everyday that his heart is mine and is working on things because he can't lose me. He has a tattoo of my name and always tells me how much I mean to him. I think if you love him stick around... eventually he'll come around. Also, remember that guys won't always be 100% perfect that is like winning a lottery ticket so appreciate him for his good qualities and know that maybe that's just his personality... Don't forget love conquers all so if he's worth it, stay true to him

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    • Aww, thanks for your opinion. It really helped me and made me feel better. and I do love him so I do try to stick it out to show him.☺️

    • That makes me feel good, I'm glad it helped you somehow.
      I don't get why someone down-voted me haha, I was only sharing a personal experience.
      Anyway, sorry for the long reply! It just hit close to home. Good luck girl <3

What Guys Said 5

  • I too made my own choices at a young age and had to work to help support my brothers and children. I do feel that this has hardened me in a way to were I really only have superficial feelings and a drinking problem.

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    • Do you think it's possible to find the right person who may help soften you? Or do you feel like at this point, you are who you are?

    • I am who I am. Also in my experience women do not respect a soft man.

  • He sounds like a real human being. And a real hero.

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  • People *can* develop a too thick skin to protect themselves. My abusive mother was responsible for that: crying was punished by slaps in the face. My dad rarely showed emotions.
    I too can be emotionless at occasions (even occasions considered very upsetting by others: when I was facing possible death, when my granny died, when my brother died, when my parents died)
    But right now I'm worrying about an ex (our ways parted 50 years ago)
    I'm not emotionless when I hug my SO or when I see the photo I made recently from my son at a very happy occasion.

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  • He isn't emotionless. I have a friend like that. Some people find it easier to just repress their emotions and tell themselves that they're a rock so that they don't have to deal with feeling bad. I'm sure he loves you but doesn't want to deal with what comes with love. Essentially people lie to themselves and eventually end up believing that lie. But trust me, he'll show you how he feels one day. Does he also not get angry ever?

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    • No, he has anger problems.

  • Sometimes, as much as you care about someone and hope to solve their internal issues, it's just not your place. He's had a long time to deal with his problems, someone interfering may just make things worse.

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What Girls Said 2

  • There's nothing much you can do. I'm sure your boyfriend isn't emotionless. Some people just keep their emotions guarded. You shouldn't expect him to open up to you all at once because it will take some time for him to feel comfortable enough to let emotions out. Try to talk to him about his feelings every now and then and be open with yours too.

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  • Some guys tend to do what they're used to, or how they're raised becuz men generally are raised to be tough and strong and not show emotions or they're called sissys but thats WRONG in fact guys should show emotions or they don't seem like a heartless rock.

    The ways you can get him to open u to u are in this site below, becuz I'm sure he does love you but doesn't know how to show it... (REMOVE SPACES TO OPEN)

    http:// howtowinamansheart. com/blog/ how-to-encourage-a-man-to-open-up-to-you/

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    • Thank you!!!

    • Welcome, honestly I've noticed not many serious questions get answered, your questions should have many, i hate how people just don't reply to them and skip them, maybe its becuz more teenagers are here.

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