Husband ALWAYS drunk? Should I leave him?

He own a small bar and I always find him drunk and want to have sex with me. He's like I love you, I don't want to live without you but I'm so sick of that and I'm done talking to him about it. I love him so much but he isn't going to change or at least this is what I think. I'm pregnant in two months and I really thought of leaving him forever.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • There are a number of things I see here. First off he is always drunk and that is a red flag right there. He wants to have sex with you, this would be a normal need from him but it seems like it is triggered from him being drunk not actually wanting to make love to his wife. If he honestly loves you then he will make his number one objective to make you happy. It seems like he just says that just as words when his actions speak otherwise. I think you really need to sit down with him, when he is sober and lay it all on the line with him. Tell him the truth, tell him how you feel and what you are thinking. He first needs to admit that he is an alcoholic. He then has to get treatment. If he doesn't go for treatment and maybe he doesn't think there is anything wrong with him then you may need to flat out tell him it is either the alcohol or me. If he truly loves you he will choose you in a heartbeat. My guess is he doesn't know that you are ready to leave him if this problem isn't addressed by him. He is the only one that can change. Marriage counseling would also be beneficial if both you and him want to make this marriage work. Alcohol can really distort a mind and make you lose in touch with reality and it could make you lose your spouse, family, friends, etc. Before you do anything drastic, talk to him when he is sober and be direct with him. I know you love him but it has to be reciprocated and he has to again make his main objective to make you happy and that would be to get help to save your marriage. I am sorry you are going through this but dont give up yet. Maybe after you talk to him and he knows that you are thinking of leaving him that his eyes will open and he will have a reality check and do what he can to save the marriage before it is too late. I wish you only the best!

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What Guys Said 6

  • s2.quickmeme.com/.../...29d065d86e3cea220d52e9.jpg

    Seems he has a problem and needs help. He should go to AA and see a counselor or a doctor. If he agrees you should stay and support him since you love him but if he doesn't straighten up tell him your gone.

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  • hmm, if he owns a small bar, he probably is the bartender, so he drinks with his customers to make a bigger profit. I don't think you should leave him, he is just trying to make a living. But instead, tell him to sleep at the bar if he is really drunk.

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  • I personally would not stay with someone who is drug addicted---and make no mistake about it, alcohol is a drug. As long as he has a relationship with the drink, he can never have a full relationship with you. One day he may get sober but it could be years from now. Are you willing to sacrifice half a lifetime to wait? What about your child? Doesn’t he/she deserve a coherent, full time father?

    Maybe when he realizes he is losing you and his unborn child he would change but I wouldn’t count on it. Alcohol is one of the most addiction drugs I know of.

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  • If you really love him, I'd talk to him about his drinking problem because after all, he is your beloved husband. He might have a problem but that doesn't mean it can't be fixed. If you think its a big problem, id take him to rehab or seek marriage counseling. Go with your instinct, do what you think is right. I think you should try to work things out. I wish the best for you and your husband and a good luck :)

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  • So I guess counseling is out?

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  • Is this child his? If so, maybe talk to a counselor with him. Try to work it out, still.

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    • Yes it's his baby

    • Then, definitely try to work it out with him. Take him to a therapist/pastor and work it out. It would be a shame if another couple with a child bites the dust and we have another "ex" situation in our world.

What Girls Said 4

  • He should go to rehab. A rehabilitation center is his best chance at salvaging his life.

    You should also get away for a while. I'm not saying you should leave the house, but you shouldn't be stressed out right now.

    I would tell him about the pregnancy, point him in the direction of a good counselor or rehab center (his best bet imo), and try to live as healthy a life as possible as your pregnancy continues.

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  • He's your husband, I thought the whole point of marriage is that you out more effort and commitment into it than a normal relationship? Don't walk away from your husband and marriage when he needs you. He needs you to kick his ass into line and save him from himself. If this is happening all the time then something must be done, this is the father of your child to be: help him, don't abandon him.

    A serious discussion needs to happen with clear steps as to what is to be done to stop this behaviour and help him not revert back. He needs to know how close you are to leaving but that you love him and are there to help him.

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  • It's your decision. Honestly, he sounds very irresponsible. I wouldn't be surprised if he were to cheat on you. I would leave the house, not technically divorce him, but show him that you're not going to put up with his crap.

    If he realizes that the woman that he loves so much plus his unborn child will soon leave his life, he'll shape up and stop drinking.

    However, if he fails to realize what he has in time, he'll be signing divorce papers pretty soon.

    But I have to ask, was his drinking a problem while you two were dating? If so, why did you continue a relationship with such a man?

    Best of luck honey!

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  • i think counseling might help him

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