Why is it always forgivable when mothers screw up their kids' life, but it's never okay when fathers do it?

Do people pity their mothers more than their fathers? Say for example, your mother was on drugs for most of your life and gave you the bare minimum. I mean, food and shelter, but you never felt like she loved you or even cared for that matter. If you tell anyone that, they'll call you ungrateful for feeling that way because at least your mother didn't leave you on the street to starve. Mothers can screw up their kids' lives and simply get away with it. Society will always see them as 'the woman who gave you life'. When in all honesty, so what if she gave you life? She didn't do the right thing. I guess even bad mothers can do no wrong.

When it comes to fathers, when they walk out they aren't forgiven. Society talks harshly of men who leave their wives and children, but not seeing the big picture, he's written off as being this horrible man unworthy of anything. Sometimes men aren't 'father material' and it doesn't make them bad people. They simply had little to no say when the woman decided to have the child. In all honesty, women have done the same thing but we're just supposed to accept it because they gave us life? What's wrong with this picture?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The problem is that there is all this "victimizing" of women. No matter how horrible she is, she is considered a "victim." People rationalize all this stuff 50 different ways.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think women have it so much easier when it comes to their kids... when it comes to being let off the hook. I don't think it's right either. Not fair...
    Moms r supposed to have a motherly instinct. Dada don't really get that. So I think it's worse when I mother does harmful/neglectful things to her child.

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    • I agree that its indeed worse, but I don't agree that all women are capable of having 'motherly instincts'. I believe it's something one isn't born with, but acquires. I'm just sick of these abusive mothers getting off the hook when they didn't do the right thing just because they gave birth to a child.

What Guys Said 9

  • I would think it's probably because mom has carried the kid for 9 months and that's probably an even closer bond than with father. So even after very sad things you'll probably rather forgive mom than dad.
    I'm not certain, it's a "guesstimate"...

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    • Not an excuse. What about women who KNOW that they are carrying a human being and still take drugs, smoke and drink? You telling me that carrying someone for 9 months is an excuse?

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    • (Embarrassed)☺️😶. Ok I see what you mean.

    • No problem at all, these things happen :-)
      Let's hope future moms use common sense and leave the alcohol, tobacco and other substances out of their life for 9 months (and preferably much longer)!

  • well you're comparing two different scenarios.

    with drugs and failure to provide? yeah moms get slightly more forgiveness. but only a little.

    walking out? pretty much any gender the person is who walks out on their child is pretty much given the rod.

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  • I certainly don't but this is so true its a double standard i guess and i think part of it has to do with that mentality in this culture that she has more rights to the baby than the father. Also men have more of that violent stigma

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  • It's just sexism.

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  • Maybe it has to do with the fact mothers go through the most when it comes to children, the stress, the actual birth, etc whereas men all they have to do is stick thier dick in and get her pregnant

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  • You are 100% right. A parent should be held responsible, regardless of gender.

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  • Another thing to add on a long list of double standards.

    Also, "some" mothers tend to hold the pain of giving birth over their kids, so even when they do wrong, the child should be grateful.

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    • I'll place a wager while I'm at it. "A girl will bring up the pain of childbirth."

    • This girl I went to school with told me that her mother blamed her for being obesed and said if she wouldn't have had her she'd be skinny! Lol

    • Another thing I hear all the time lol mothers who say "You ruined my body, you should appreciate everything I do.. blah blah blah"

  • The person with the penis is always the asshole, the dead beat and the pedophile. Females come straight from Heaven...

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What Girls Said 1

  • Its not forgivable either way but Mothers gave birth to the child which is more painful then being mauled to death by a bear which is why many people offer grace towards the mother when she messes up.

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