Mom trying to drag me to some remote village, what to do?

Before I start, I want to get this clear: If you're going to answer like "You're still a child in the eyes of law", please DO NOT BOTHER. I'm writing in caps because some people skip over it. I don't need you to remind me the government thinks I'm a mindless little puppet slave that she owns until I reach the magical age of 18 and suddently become a human. So, please do NOT talk about law. Thank you.-------------------------------------------------------------------
Okay, I live in Avcilar, Istanbul which isn't the best part of the city but at least it's in the metropolitan area. My mom and step-dad are trying to sell our apartment in here (it's by the main street) and buy one in Silivri. It's an underdeveloped and new place, 10 years ago it was just fields but now they're building apartments and she wants to live there because it's "quiet and peaceful".

Problem is: she's 38 and she wants peace but I'm 14 and I want to live somwhere alive. Avcilar has been doing a good job. The best place for me is Beyoglu, the heart of the city and my favorite place in the world, but she wants to move to the exact opposite direction. Now I'm not trying to say I want to go to clubs or something but Beyoglu is full of wonderful things—historical churches, a synagogue, the country's best schools, A LOT of tourists, activities, everything I want. On the other hand, Silivri is simply a mall, a hospital, a filthy beach, a prison (seriously) and fields.

We just had a big fight and she yelled that I'm being selfish. How am I selfish? I'm not telling her to not move there. Just don't take me. She's the one who is selfish, trying the take the best 4 years of my life away from me.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • As someone who went through something similar I agree with you. I hate the fact that we moved when I was 13, it seriously fucked me up big time. I HATED high school and feel like I got completely cheated out of my teenage years because of it Nd it's definitely left a mark. You should continue defending yourself to your parents, they are in the wrong here. Unfortunately, that's all you can do. Be persistent with it. Best of luck!

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    • Thank you ☺️

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    • that's directed to the asker... I sound like a crazy person talking to himself XD

    • I noticed you mixed the opinions 😄

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you are being a bit selfish... you have your whole life ahead of you. While I understand your pain, a lot of teenagers go through the same thing. I promise I know you are not wanting to do it, but it will not be as bad as you fear.
    If you love your mother you will understand that this is important to her and she may not get another change to do this as she wants to... you can move away the moment you turn 18. How can you hurt her by trying to pull away from her like this? How would you feel if she left you behind?
    I know its a cliche, but you will have a chance to live a life you want to live... x

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    • I don't think she's being selfsih at all. I've been through something similar as her and I can tell you that it has left a mark on me. You develop a huge part of your personality during your teenage years, it's probably the most important developmental stage of your life (other than toddler years), it's understandable she wants to be around a place where she can be social and be with friends she probably had her entire life.

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    • drop me a PM and I can help you with those :) (really, I am good with esteem issues!)

    • That's exactly what I'm talking about. If I move there, I'll just go to school and come back home and go to school and come back home for FOUR years. @guy532

What Guys Said 2

  • well, when comes to decision making, my parent actually had taught me something.
    "Can you be financially independent, if you can, do whatever you want no one give a damn, if you couldn't **** listen to me."yeah , that's pretty much of what i kept that in mind, in fact it's quite pragmatistic and helpful.

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  • dont be upset what i know silivri is not underdeveloped as you tought, and it is near to istanbul

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What Girls Said 1

  • You might end up enjoying it. I'm not sure of the laws in Turkey but I highly doubt you can be emancipated and live on your own at your age.

    I do think it's a bit selfish for the both of you, but then I was raised in an environment where my opinion and feelings were valued.

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    • I'm not different than an object to the law, my parents have %100 over me and can do whatever they want to me unless it's illegal. I don't have any rights and I'm not considered a full person. If someone doesn't want me in their wedding because I'm under 18, people get angry, but not because I've been insulted, because my parents have been insulted. I'm nothing. Unless I commit murder. Then they put me on trial as an adult, because I'm mature enough to plot and commit a murder in cold blood but not enough to consent to sex or vote.

    • I understand that and I agree that it sucks. Is there are possibility that you can make a deal with your mother about going there for a year and if you absolutely hate it, moving to somewhere a little busier? It shows that you're mature and willing to compromise.

    • I have been there. Multiple times. And hated it. I'm not willing to try again. Looks like I have to give up on saving money and find myself a place to stay.

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