What are thsee so called "standars" that so many women have that makes it so difficult for guys to date them?

i just have to ask because on her it seems like quite many guys think this way. I know this doesn't apply to every guy out there, but i have seen a lot of guys complaing about women having "too high standars" or "too high expectation" when it comes to guys and dating.

For myself im really just after a bestfriend im physically attracted to in additon to other expectations such as a job or a higher education, place of their own (or rents while stuyding) and ambitions in life. Im perusing a high education and i just find in a turn off when people im dating doesn't have any ambitions.

Anyway, what are some of the expectations or standars that so many women have that makes its so diffcult for som many guys to date them? i know for a fact that dating isn't easy, but if it doesn't work out with a guy i never "blame" him for having to high standars or what not.. i just assume that we are too different..

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well I'll start with the stuff you mentioned.

    Having a job is one thing, but many guys notice that the girls want higher income guys. It's a hypergamy issue. Many guys know the average woman is hypergamous. So this turns into a message of "I need to make more money to establish more worth in the field of dating." Many guys feel used this way and then wonder "Am I only worth what my yearly income is?"

    Having a place of their own is only an issue in some cases. One case which I witnessed is when the guy has his own place and she doesn't, yet it's a "must have" on her list and then the guy realizes she doesn't care about him, she just wants to get away from her parents. The one case I saw was one guy I know telling me how she basically "moved in" to his place and was so lazy that she wouldn't even do her own laundry. Other cases that some guys have problems with are ones where guys rent but the woman will only date a guy who owns. Basically she takes such a case too far.

    The highest education thing is mainly a problem with girls who get elitists and this is far from gender specific honestly. People with high end degrees have a tendency to "look down" on others. Some guys just happen to advance through a place they worked from when they're young and live just fine. Some do trade schools. Other than that, people who whine about this are just kids who live in their mom's basement playing video games 10+ hours a day instead of going out and getting a job.

    It's basically women taking the stuff too far. Having a place is not enough. "His place is too small." "He doesn't make enough to own a house." "He only has a bachelor's, I only date guys with a master's." For all the stuff you're listing the typical woman takes much further to the point where the guy asks himself "Does she like me for me at all?" We hear "personality" this and "loving" that but then see "the guy must have these possessions for me to consider him" which sends mixed messages. These things sound far fetched, but they're very real.

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    • i can understand that a lot of women might be like that, but isn't it a bit generalizing of guys to think that all women are like that? If you looking at different using body type as an example you can clearly see that just because a lot of guys find a certain body type attractive, that might even be prefered. doesn't mean that they will only date a girl with big boobs, or a big butt, or a skinny girl etc. A guy can prefer a skinny girl, but i a lot of cases a guy would be with an average girl because even if looks are important other factors play in when it comes to the guys attraction towards the girls.
      And i believe it the same way when women prefer or want a guy to have a certain degree or a certain job.. it might be preferred, but i dont know a lot of women who would dump a guy or not date him just because he doesn't have a master or doesn't work as a lawyer or what not.

    • What I've noticed happening over time is that a lot of women out there in the real world are stuck dealing with the perceptions guys form with things like online dating. These kinds of "standards" you're listing girls will put in bullet-points at the bottoms of their profiles. When guys scroll profile after profile they see enough of them to form a basis as to which each woman's basing their criteria on. Then when guys find out these women get endless messages per day they realize that what they have is "not enough" for each women they're messaging.

      Yet in real life I never see this as the case. It's based on getting to know the person and if it is really a problem for the woman that the guy doesn't have a master's she will likely never even bring it up.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think it's necessarily that women have "high standards", its the fact that women pretty much have the ball in their field from the get go.
    A lot of men paint this false perception of women because of their fear of rejection.
    Just because a woman doesn't want to date you, doesn't mean it's because she finds you unattractive.
    There's plenty of reasons why one wouldn't date another
    (Ex. Just out of a long term relationship (not ready for one), Wants to play the field first (have fun dating around), Doesn't have time (pursuing education or career), etc.
    Some men automatically assume they are being rejected because they aren't tall , good looking or fit enough.
    That isn't always the case

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    • oh i see... but i see all thse guys saying that women expect too much from them... i dont see that.. but then again im not a guy and i rarely date

    • I think that's where the expectancy comes from.
      People think if their rejected it's because of personal reasons (some of which I listed, and even financial reasons).

What Guys Said 3

  • So you're NOT just looking for a best friend that you're physically attracted to?

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  • You can't be serious, are you.

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  • The standards vary from woman to woman based on why she doesn't want to date the guy in the first place.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Girls are allowed to have standards because woman are a privilege and not a right. Nobody can say they are entitled to a relationship simply because they exist. A relationship is an addition to life - not a pre-requisite for living. My standards are that he has to be either very moral and decently rich or extremely rich and decently moral. Or extremely good looking, moderately rich and moderately moral.

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