Serious help needed with cutter?

So a friend of my daughter's has admitted she has started cutting. Cannot tell her parents as her mother seems to be the reason why. She is 13 and confided in me. Please, serious help only for a SERIOUS problem. I have no idea what to do or how to help. Please give me insight? Trolls not welcome, this is serious.



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Most Helpful Guy

  • Even under the best of circumstances it's a challenge for the professionals to find ways of reaching these troubled children in ways that are effective. Many of them have dealt with mental and emotional abuse most of their lives.
    My own daughter had a very close friend, a girl she has known since 1st grade, become a mother at age 17 and take her own life a year later. Her home life was a nightmare.
    I think the best we can do as friends is to let them feel that they are welcome into our lives. And prayer of course.

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What Guys Said 8

  • You in a tough spot. The best you can do is be her trusted friend and try get her to open up more to you. Don't go to the parents as you will break that trust. Start off small, ask the mom and dad about controversial topics like teenage sex etc. if they are very religious, that's also a problem. See their reactions. if they are stone dead set that teens shouldn't be having sex, for example, they will probably be super hard on her and her sexuality. my mom was also very introverted and a prude, so she thought she was doing a great job by protecting me against women and the world. All she did was make me feel like an outcast because I had no friends and anything sexual was taboo in my family. So your guiding stars are actually toxic. You have no place to go except at yourself. Parents who not open minded, or at the least, flexible to the different ideas and notions of the world, create repressed kids. Ultimately, she will need to see somebody (therapist) as cutting is a self-harming coping strategy. you need to get to the cause of what is bugging her And may have to speak to a therapist for guidance. Not gag;)

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  • I had a girlfriend in high school who cut... my family knew as well, but we never told her parents. she was already seeing someone though... It is tough because I think her family was so f%#$ and then she spent so much time with mine, which is very fun and loving and I think it made it worse almost... even though we were just trying to show her life can be good. (she had a few suicide attempts, one I had to call the police on...) not really sure what to do even having gone through it...

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  • Talk to a mental health professional. They are discreet and understanding and many have years of experience.

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  • You know... i think that people who cut themselves are just plain stupid and overly emotional, but if you would like to help her i would suggest talking to her, yes, just talk to her make her open up to you.
    Be the person who she can talk to and share her thoughts, give her support, go out and have fun with her, buy her some ice cream and talk about girly stuff... make her happy.

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  • You should tell her parents. How would you feel if your daughter was cutting herself but instead of telling you she told her friend's mom?

    Wouldn't you be upset if her mom didn't tell you?

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    • Dude, parents are sometimes the cause of the cutting, I found help through other people cause my parents would never understand, and still to this day they don't know half the shit.

  • Tell her father maybe, it's best for you to stay out of other's family matters , best you can do is take her to a psychiatrist. I had cut myself because of my parents, and i realized later i was over reacting. Got over it myself without any help.

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  • Is she depressed?

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  • Getting to the root of the problem and helping her from there would be a good start.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I would take her to a therapist. If the therapist refuses, then find another one, who knows the severity of the situation. If you can't talk to the parents, and can't find a therapist maybe go to a hospital and try.

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  • You NEED to get her to a therapist asap! Evens if you have to do it behind her parent's back.

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