Guys, do you sometimes feel awkward when you just happen to be walking near a woman late at night? Girls, does that make you feel uncomfortable?

I just had this experiance last night where I was waiting for a bus at a stop and this girl was noticably tense when I stopped there. Well it just so happens we got the same bus and got off at the same stop... I tried my best to keep my distance but it was pretty clear she was freaking out, clutching her purse tight and walking faster looking behind at me and such. Similar things happen all the time, living in a city and I come home from work/ uni late.

I hated how it made me feel like some kind of criminal or that I was doing something wrong and needed to act differently (walk slower). But I understand her actions entirely, there are weird people out there that do bad things, and especially with the woman-man dynamic.

Anyway, my main question is, have any guys here felt the same way or a similar experience?

Girls, how did you feel in a situation like this? Do you appreciate that a guy would try and make you feel a bit more comfortable by walking slower etc? Or was this all in my head and I should have just kept on doing what I wanted to do, regardless of hwo she may have percieved it?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It is awkward, yes. Your brain knows there is no harm intended, but you still feel freaked. If there is any way to Gove a "what's up" nod, or one of those meaningless hello closed lip smiles, it goes a long way to proving you have no bad intentions.

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    • Hmm i always thought that any kind of direct contact would make it worse! But not a bad idea, thanks!

    • Well, for me it means a person isn't "stalking" or sneaking. I'm more nervous around someone who is right there and does not acknowledge me. That's just me, though :)

    • that could make sense! I ti tough for me to think about these things as I am a 6'3 220lb man, so I never really feel vulnerable in that way, very foreign to me, but I do try and understand I can seem intimidating, especially under these circumstances. Well if this happens again maybe I will keep this in mind

Most Helpful Guy

  • I agree. A while back I was looking for my family in target (it was around 10 at night) and this lady was clutching her purse cause I was looking down the isle's. Once I noticed this I shook my head and sped up. It did make me feel slightly bad when she did it though..

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What Girls Said 3

  • Yeah, I genuinely notice and appreciate it when a guy does what he can to make me feel lesson edge. It shows that you understand why I'm uncomfortable and that you don't want to contribute to that. Doing things such giving a nod or a tip of your hat in acknowledgment before moving further away, or slowing your pace as you walk behind, etc., is considerate of our feelings and our valid fears, and goes a long way toward making the whole situation more comfortable for both of us.

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    • ya the MHO mentioned actually communicating with the girl a bit, I thought that would make it worse, but now I know. and it is just such a strange feeling for me to process... but I understand it is worse for the woman.

    • Actually talking to her or outright sayin something like "I'm not gonna hurt you" would definitely up the creep factor into overdrive, but making a physical gesture that says "I acknowledge your presence" and then moving away will make her feel better.

    • Sorry ya, I meant a subtle form of comincation, not talking, I know that is bad lol I meant even a head nod would make it worse

  • I tend to freak out slightly when guys follow me. I take a deep breath when the go off in a different direction. But I also feel guilty at the same time knowing that they are probably a decent person and that I'm just overreacting but I guess better safe than sorry?

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    • Ya I figured it would be something like that. It was just interesting the effect it then in turn had on me, but again, given all the messed up things that happen, I completely understand how a girl would feel this way.

    • Hahaha yeah. I tend to straighten up and stick my chin forward like 'I am a strong and confident woman so don't you go messing with me' (I've heard that people generally don't go after the people who look like they would fight back to hard) but I've had friends who have actually run in the opposite direction so I guess it just depends on the person?

    • Well being a 6'3 220lb man has never really left me feeling vulnerable... at least one on one. But yes, I see know what you mean!

  • we are brought up to be overly-cautious about male strangers, especially in the dark, understandably. it's better to be safe than sorry. it's nothing personal

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    • no I understand that, it just makes me feel really weird, I have never been anywhere close to being viewed as a criminal... just a weird feeling to internalize... but again, women have it much worse I understand.

    • i'm sure no one views you as a criminal but you could physically overpower us if you actually did want to so that is why we get so freaked. you can never be too careful

What Guys Said 3

  • I have had this happen to me on occasion. I've reacted by going out of my way across the street to keep myself safely distant.

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    • good to hear I am not the only one then, such an awkward feeling... though I am sure worse for the woman.

  • do I feel awkward or uncomfertable in those situations? all the time, though it matters not who it is. usually i just keep note of their location and what they are doing and just keep doing what i need to be doing. i dont change anything in my own behaviour,

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  • I know I'm a potential rapist to every woman out there so I hate it when I'm alone with a woman.

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