Why do some people feel the need to call transsexuals by their biological gender?

I mean post-op too. Like you only know they are transsexuals because you were informed. Why do some people feel they have to call and refer to you by your biological gender despite you making it clear you want to be refered to as otherwise?

An example is my friend Alex. We're cool as hell, he's fine with me being transsexual, calls me by my prefered name as well, only issue is he REFUSES to use male pronouns. Like he says until I get bottom surgery, he just can't do it. It bothers me, and I've made it clear that it does, because not only do I get confused when he tries to say "she" (like I really pause and wonder who he means now), but he confuses the hell out of other people who see me as a guy. I mean he's cool and a great guy to hang out with, just the damn gender calling. With Alex, I get it cause he's known me as a female for years now and it's weird for him (especially with his family who kinda/sorta like me).

Some people just do it because they don't WANT to call you by you're prefered gender. They'll say the opposite one out of spitefulness and I want to know why. Like it won't kill you to call a post-op transsexual by their prefered gender, what's stopping you?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • They are scared and confused that those transgender people actually can easily pass as the other gender, so they want to actively remind themselves and everyone else of their biological gender to not let them get that pass.
    In other words, they are spiteful humans.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Someone has to understand transgender people completely before they can trade up the "he" for the "she" or vice versa.

    Before when I didn't understand it completely, I referred to the person the sex they were born, no matter how they looked.
    Now, I don't do that any more.

    Even if I have my personal views about transgender people I do not want to disrespect the person by calling them what they do not want to be called.
    If the person is biologically male living their life as a woman, I will call him "she".
    If the person is biologically female living their life as a man, I will call her "he".
    My personal views are put aside in this instance.

    I may not agree with peoples choices but I will hold respect for them.

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    • And I meant *If the person is biologically male living their life as a woman, I will call her "she".

  • Because transphobia is real and people are ignorant and hurtful and shitty.

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  • Sometimes I forget because I've been calling them a he/she for so long. I know this one transsexual guy that doesn't like to be called he. He likes to be called she still yet wants everyone to call them by their new male name.. I don't know what to say at times.

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  • Is it possible he just forgets the right pronoun every time? He might be used to calling you a she, so it might take time for him to get used to it.

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    • No with Alex, he knows very well (especially considering his girlfriend refers to me as a he at all times), he's just very used to saying she. With him, like I said, I can understand. I DONT get people who know and choose not to for stupid reasons.

  • It's impossible to change your gender, so calling you a "he" would be stupid. You're a woman and nothing will change that. Sorry, but you will never be a man. You're a "she". Period.

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    • Oh , yes, call the guy who looks like an obvious man a female to suit your selfish needs.

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    • No but close minded people get on my nerves.

      Not even close to being hurt, just annoyed with you at this point and done talking to you.

    • Yesssss, victory!

What Guys Said 6

  • "If his momma call him Cassius Clay, I'm gonna call him Cassius Clay!"

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  • Because that's how they knew them, how they saw them.

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  • Because those people are rude as fuck... that's like calling someone by a different first name.

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  • Because to me they are still that gender and always will be no matter what surgury they get

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  • Because they're still that gender regardless of how many operations they get or how much meds they're on.

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  • To paraphrase the Duke of Wellington. "Because a man lives in a stable and eats oats, that does not make him a horse".

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