How do you find a way to be happy when nothing good is happening?

I'm 22 and I don't live my life like most people my age. I'm about to finish my last semester in college. While I do, I live with my grandparents who live closer to my school. My grandmother is sick a lot and it really hurts me to see her that way. My grandfather resents her being ill and not always being able to take care of herself, so I end up spending a lot of time with her. Even if I just talk to her for a couple hours a day, she always tells me how happy it makes her. But it is emotionally exhausting to be with her when she is sick. So I recently began driving an hour to my mom's house to spend a couple days per week there to clear my head. But all the driving makes it just seem like a hassle a lot of times.
Then there is my ex. For the past year he put me through so much in our relationship. He has depression and even now that we're not toegther I am still helping him through his issues. I constantly reassure him that he'll be okay and he is always doubting himself. I sometimes wonder why I even try, but I always do.
My job is another thing. I work at a very busy coffee shop and I used to love it there. Now, I hate it. I hate the rude customers, I can't stand most of my co-workers, and I'm not getting paid enough to do all I do, which is way more than anyone else does there. But I can't quit because even though I'm not making much, it's more than I'd be paid anywhere else.
I am very close to my youger brother and we get along very well. He has anxiety issues, but my mother doesn't try to help him, so I am always going out of my way to try and get him to try new things and feel better about social situations. I feel like if I don't do it, then no one else will, like it's my responsibility since my mom won't.

I am so unhappy. I feel like there's never a moment where I can just sit back and breath and have a moment to myself. There are times when I feel happy, but most of the time I'm overwhelmed and feel like I have nothing to look forward to.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Based upon your own description, it sounds as if you spend a fair deal of time seeking to comfort or help others with their problems. Your grandmother, your brother, your ex. It's very noble, and if nothing else, if your story is true, you should take pride in your choices. It might be trying to you now, but it almost certainly will not last forever, and you will go on with the knowledge that you went to great efforts to aid those whom you cared about.

    Your comment about you doing more at your job than anyone else would seem somewhat illuminating however. It leaves one to wonder why you do more? Is it due to your specific job? Or is more simply asked of you? Or do others slack off whereas you do not? It would seem to leave as an open question if you might perhaps be allowing others to take advantage of you, or if you might be investing yourself into the things you do to a degree greater than your limited energy or emotional capital will reasonably allow you to support. You might be unhappy now, but you are in your last semester, so it can be assumed you will have a degree soon, and better prospects for obtaining a more desirable and lucrative job?

    Although I wish I could say something insightful, perhaps the best I can offer is that well I can appreciate that you might feel emotionally exhausted, there is nothing in what you have provided that strongly suggests you have nothing to look forward to. Unless there are more relevant details which you didn't mention, it sounds like you might just be suffering from stress. Either finding someone to talk over your problems with, or finding some time to calmly think about the situation might be helpful.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't like to say this... but you seek like you forgot yourself in all that "I need to helo others"-thing.

    Take some quality time with friends who lift you uo again or just get somewhere alone to clear your head... if you can't stand it all, you need to get either rid of some or look for sobebody to help you. You don't have to walk around with all of that burden by yourself and you BETTER don't. It will eventually only destroy you. Please don't let that happen.


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What Guys Said 3

  • Read MyTake on meditation, it has helped me so much through my life, its difficult to follow, but will help in time.

  • You seem like a very nice person. I think you should try to spend some alone time and indulge in something you find entertaining. Hopefully things will turn around for the better.

  • I do my duties while wallowing in pain and self pitty, I just hope it won't always be shit.


What Girls Said 1

  • There is always tomorrow though. You never know what is right around the corner ;D