My friend got diagnosed with a chronic illness, so she was pulled out of school to get treatment. I hadn't seen her in almost half a year, and she showed up to visit. The treatment made her really... big. Her face was puffy, and she looked like she'd gained a lot of weight when it was really the medicine (or the weight gain was an unavoidable side effect of it. I'm not quite sure). She seemed really sad about her appearance, and said that she was unrecognizable because of how fat she was. My group of friends got really really quiet, so I blurted out something along the lines of "no way! you're not fat at all!"
Was this right of me? I hated that she was suffering a low self esteem because of unavoidable circumstances, but was it right of me to lie?
Most Helpful Guy
Hi. I'm the a. hole who wrote the take on "if you're fat, I'm going to call you fat. damnit.".
This is a tough situation you're presented with here. I personally wouldn't have lied to her. To say something like that - "no way! you're not fat at all!" is transparently patronizing. However, because it's a chronic illness, it's certainly not the time to point out that she's gained weight.
Every time I've been in your situation, I've always been completely honest, but in the nicest possible way. For example, if she asked me whether or not she's fat, I'd respond with, "well... look... there's no point lying to you. But c'mon. We all know that this is because of the side effect, and when you're well enough to get off this medicine, you'll bounce back into shape in no time. I'm just glad that you're here with us and allowing us to be by your side as you fight through this.".
There's no guarantee that she'll take it well. It's a shit situation to be in for everyone around, but these are the moments that tests our courage and our friendships, and when they emerge at the other end, they become stronger because of these experiences. Good luck.1
Most Helpful Girl
Of course with it Not being true with your out of the blue 'Blurt out' that she was Buying it. However, you were the Only one who didn't stand there like a fart in the wind and Just... Got really really quiet.
You had the goalies and the good grace to try and cheer her up about her face. Even though at the time it it Felt right and Now, you feel it Wasn't 'Right,' you showed her you were the Admirable one in Being a Friend and not just a Fair weather one who stood there catching flies without giving out lies.
It shows me, her as well, that you have a heart of gold. Even to cheer her up and tell her it's okay, don't worry, everything will find away to work itself up, they are the Ones who looked like they had the Egg on their faces. What must That 'Appearance' have looked like?
Good luck. xx1