My boyfriend makes me feel like shit about myself?

I weigh 121 pounds to be exact. My boyfriend is always commenting on my pudge and how I don't have a flat stomach. I work out and eat healthy but it doesn't help my pudge. I know that I am not fat by all means but he makes me feel like I am. It really hurts me. He tells me I need to work out more. And I always ask him, "why can't you just love me for who I am?" He says that if I weighed 110 that I wouldn't be able to keep him off of me. A little background on him... He is not "in shape" he used to weighed over 200 pounds but he lost all of his weight. He doesn't have abs. He's not skinny minnie. I don't care about that though. I love him either way.


0|0
13|17

Most Helpful Girl

  • It seems like he's insecure about his own body and is trying to push those insecurities onto you to make himself feel better.

    I understand that you've been with him for two years and you don't want to throw that away, but is it really worth a life of constant ridicule from the guy who is supposed to care for you and make you feel loved.

    It will be ridiculously hard to, but I do encourage you to break up with him because this seems to be a toxic relationship that will not end well. It would take a lot of time to get over him, but wouldn't it be worth it to possibly find a guy who loves you enough to ignore whatever flaws you may have instead of constantly pointing them out to you.

    1|0
    0|0
    • "He will convince her that she is stupid and ugly, incompetent to deal with even the most elementary situations without
      his help and guidance. As she becomes more and more insecure, she becomes more and more dependent upon him."

    • Thanks for MHO and I genuinely hope everything works out in your best interests. If you ever need to talk about it you can shoot me a message and I'll try to help you in any way I can.

What Guys Said 17

  • Your boyfriend is an ass, and you shouldn't put up with it. Kick him to the curb and find someone who actually supports you and doesn't intentionally hurt you emotionally.

    You can't change others (i. e., you can't make this guy change), you can only change yourself, and in this case, that means it's up to YOU to dump this guy and choose a better one next time.

    1|1
    0|0
  • Clearly just a guy chasing superficial features and trying to shove his own workout achievements down your throat. If he appreciated your efforts he should be supportive and positive which would in return make you feel more motivated to work even harder.

    He is shitting on your hard work, a pure no-go.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I did not need to read the whole question. Just the title alone tells me that he is not the right guy for you. A boyfriend should not make you feel like shit. Get him to change or drop him.

    0|1
    0|0
  • then y don't u dump him if he makes comments about yer weight?
    121 pounds isn't fat unless u r like 4'8" or under... how tall r u btw?

    so if he likes thinner gals than u dump him and let him find da gal he wants... and how can u say u love such a guy? :/

    1|0
    0|0
    • I'm 5'4. And I do love him. It just hurts my feelings a lot. We have a life together it's hard to just say fuck it and give it all up.

    • 5'4" and 121 is perfectry normal for yer height.

      if he doesn't like it u cannot change him... and never lose weight just for him if u don't want it... so i believe in this case it'd be better to dump him.. unless he accepts yer weight

  • If he's making you feel shit or miserable then maybe it's best to find a new boyfriend

    3|1
    0|0
  • If you had a friend who said, "My boyfriend makes me feel like shit about myself," and she also said, "I love him either way," what would you think about such a relationship?

    I can't see this ending well. I don't think you should be with a guy like that.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Your boyfriend is unreasonable, and makes me wonder why you're with such a person.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Well, you could tell him that if his dick was bigger you'd be all over him as well. Seriously just say you're done with him and leave his stupid ass, you don't have to put up with that sort of shit from an asshole like that.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Well why dont you just get a flat tummy? Its really sexy..
    every guy wants his girlfriend to have slim figure.. especially good abs

    0|0
    0|1
  • you should leave him, he is just trying to make you feel insecure so you don't leave him

    0|1
    0|0
  • Looks like he wants to customize like a desktop computer, of course suggestions and advices are acceptable but he just can't force you to be how he wants.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Tell him that instead of commenting on it, he should workout together with you

    0|0
    0|0
  • when he gives you such a feeling then you most think if he's really the one you want to be with

    0|0
    0|0
  • How tall are you? If you weight 121 pounds

    0|0
    0|0
  • Dump him and get yourself someone that appreciates you. You should never be treated like that.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Then dump his sorry, no good ass!!!

    0|0
    0|0
  • Lose the pudge and dump him for another guy

    0|0
    1|1

What Girls Said 12

  • It's his way of manipulating you. He knows if you have a low self esteem about yourself, you're less likely to cheat or leave him for another man. You need to get out of this relationship before he gains too much control over you.

    2|0
    0|0
  • Dump his sorry ass. What he won't he doesn't like, and respect about you another man will. Your beautiful hun. Do not let anyone still your joy.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It doesn't matter what you look like, no one should be putting up with that shit. Whether you're in shape or not.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Tell him to shut up.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Fucking dump the piece of shit.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Its not that easy. We've been together two years and we live together. We have a life together.

    • Well you'll continue to be unhappy if you don't. He obviously doesn't feel the same way if he keeps insulting you.

    • Get your ducks in a row and move out or have him move out if you want peace.

  • Then dump him? I don't get why girls stay with guys like this. You have a very simple and easy solution to his problem and yet you want to keep someone negative and dramatic in your life.

    My question is why? Do you believe you can not be loved by another man? Do you think you deserve to be talked down to and under appreciated?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Two words: Leave him.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I know you say you love him, but how could you stand having someone degrading you like that all of the time? You deserve so much more than a voice in your ear constantly nagging you about your insecurities!

    0|0
    0|0
  • If he's doing that. Break up with him. Just do it!

    0|0
    0|0
  • He is an insensitive idiot and you shouldn't waste your time on him. It doesn't matter much what he looks like, since he shouldn't say things like that to you even if he looked like Mr Perfect. But the fact he's not in shape makes it a little worse. If I were you, I'd get rid of him and surround myself with people who don't feel the need to put me down.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Sounds to me like you need to dump him and find a better boyfriend! This guy is verbally abusive towards you, yes this is verbal abuse! I had a boyfriend who made comments on my body and would complain about my weight and saggy boobs. Well I left him, and I am so much happier!

    You don't deserve this kind of verbal abuse. He's making you feel like a piece of garbage and you don't need that. Find a guy who is going to love you for you. This guy is not going to change. Even if you reach the 110 mark, he is going to find other ways to make you feel inferior.

    What he is doing is not love. He is trying to make you feel worthless so he can control you! Trust me on this! If he makes you feel worthless, you won't stray. And he can keep abusing you this way. It's about control.

    You need to get away from this guy as soon as possible!

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'm sure you're just a beautiful person inside and out who does not deserve to be put down for not looking like his picture perfect woman. You are a healthy weight and taking care of yourself, but if he cannot see that he doesn't deserve you. You should sit down with him and explain to him how you feel and how it hurts you, and then tell him how he should love you for you and your mind, just as you love him. If he doesn't understand that then he doesn't deserve you. Nobody you love should put you down like that. Hopefully he understands and you work out, if not he's not the one!

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...