Would you ever forgive your parents?

I got into a really prestigious University. My idiotic, controlling father actually discouraged me from going, saying I couldn't do it.

I declined.

I got into the same University again. I started having panic attacks. My negligent mother ran off to India, and my father walked right into the dean's office and made me withdraw.

and that's the least painful thing they've done to me over the years.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Forgiveness is a hard thing. On the one hand, holding on to one's anger and hatred towards the way one has been treated is probably not going to make you feel good in the long term and could well have an impact on your mental well being, but on the other, offering forgiveness to those who have not earned it sets a bad example, and could also have a negative repercussion on you, especially if in forgiving them you allow them to be put into a position where they can hurt you again.

    You seem to suggest that the school situation is the least painful thing they've done to you, but without knowing more about what the more painful ones might be, it would seem unclear to me how irredeemable they might be. Treating you as if you lack the intelligence to succeed would seem to be an under cutting of your sense of self worth. Something a parent should never do. But perhaps far less hostile than what some parents do to their children.

    I guess what I would say is forgiveness must be earned. It might perhaps be best if you attempt to limit your interactions with your parents in the future in as much as is possible. Just because someone is related to you by blood, that does not mean they are necessarily on your side. Try to not worry about your parents or what they have done, to be wronged is nothing after all, unless you continue to remember it. But if your parents want your forgiveness, require that they change, because if you forgive them and they haven't, you might well be putting yourself in a position to be disappointed once more.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I wouldn't forgive them. If he believes that you weren't smart enough to attend this prestigious school, that is not a legitimate reason for you not to attend. I know Indian parents are strict and all, but you have to open up and tell them that you can do things on your own and you won't be needing their help for certain things. Build yourself, before thinking about others, even if they are your parents. You don't want to be brought down by anyone, because that's the worst feeling in the world. I hope everything goes well for you and your college career.


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • You have to forgive them but next time you get accepted to a university DO NOT TELL THEM ABOUT IT. Leave the house, after filing a police report against them so the police won't take them seriously when they try to track you down and then NEVER SPEAK TO THEM AGAIN!!!

  • yes i would.

    • He didn't make me withdraw because I was having panic attacks, he made me withdraw because he didn't think I was smart enough.