Have you ever ignored/pretended not to have any interest in a crush?

Eg. avoiding eye contact (especially when their closer to you), shying away from them, etc..

I do it sometimes, know a few people that do the same as well, I'm wondering how common it is.

Why do you do it? Think you have no chance? Afraid of rejection? Just nervous as hell because you like them so much?

  • Yes, I do this all the time
    29% (28)24% (13)27% (41)Vote
  • Yes, I do this a lot, but I sometimes show small signs of interest
    40% (38)33% (18)37% (56)Vote
  • Yes, I do this as well as showing signs of interest 50/50
    21% (20)11% (6)17% (26)Vote
  • Yes, but only a little, I show signs of interest a lot
    4% (4)11% (6)7% (10)Vote
  • No, not at all, ever
    6% (6)21% (12)12% (18)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I do it all the fucking time. I never show any signs to my crush that I like them, I try my hardest to make them think that I just don't give a fuck cause I always think I don't have a chance anyways and if they found out it would be embarrassing. Plus, I can't help but be extremely nervous around cute boys. I think they intimidate me. And if the cute guy is also my crush, it's the absolute hell of nervousness.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yup! I did this a lot and sometimes try to show signs, but this never really worked. It was because I was scared of rejection. Then this Girl came into my life who approached me first after I had an obvious behaviour in her eyes but I thought its not obvious at all. And she opened my eyes saying "a boy doesn't see himself and other Boys the way a girl does. Thats why other boys often dont Understand and ask themselves "why is she together with him". Same the other way around: a girl never sees herself and other girls the way a boy does. So stuff you dont like at all about yourself can be pretty cute to a girl. Thats why you can always see it as very possible that a girl likes you." she was great and Im thankful for that, because this "she sees me in another way I do" gives me strength to approach girls now. Unfortunately we had to break up, but this is a girl I'll never forget.

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What Girls Said 33

  • I think girls act this way because crushes give us soo much adrenaline that it gets out of hand and we don't know how to deal with it. We don't want to come off as creepy, stalkerish, or clingy so we avoid doing anything that may come off as that at all costs. We are also afraid that if we get too close to the guy showing him interest, we may find out through intuition that he does not feel the same and we don't want to be hurt like that.

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  • All of the above. It sucks when you like someone and they don't feel the same way. When I was a kid my peers would tease the hell out of me when they found out my crush and would go and tell my crush that I liked him. Awkward. So I learned to conceal it and it still affects me to this day. I actually gathered up the courage once to tell a guy that I liked him and that pretty much bit me in the butt. He told me I wasn't his type and that messed with my head and I started changing to try and become his type. That was a terrible experience.

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  • And I'll explain
    Every time someone looks me in the eyes they have to look away. I don't know why I have this effect but I seem to do it to anyone who looks me in the eye. I've been told by many that when I look them in the eyes they forget what they were trying to say, it's like their imediate thought had been erased and they have to look away and take a moment to collect themselves.

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  • Yep. With every single crush I've had, I pretend they don't exist while secretly wish they would love me. Twisted

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  • It really depends on the situation. Early on in a crush, I sometimes don't even know I have it, so the signs leak through, though maybe subtly. If I want him to know, I'll let everything show, of course. If, for some reason, I don't, then yeah, I hide it. Right now, my crush and once good friend has become very distant all of a sudden. I acted the same at first, but it eventually became impossible, so I do act now exactly as you described. Because he did first (after having led me on and being as "visible" as I was). I can't say what his reasons are. Wouldn't I love to know! In a situation from when I was 16, I did this because I had confessed to him, and well, that's pretty self explanatory. Then there's the situation where I try to act aloof but can't. Like when I was 16. I'm a little better and pretending to be distant now. I guess it all depends. Yeah, it could be for sorting out feelings in the early stages of a crush. Because his behavior changed. Already been rejected. I've never changed for fear of rejection, but I'm the kind of person that will find out where I stand no matter what first. It all varies person to person and situation to situation. The key to seeing through it is to know if the distance is exaggerated. A person who feels nothing for you won't try to do anything. Because there is nothing to pretend. A person hiding their feelings is nervous and therefore, will over extend everything. Some people are better at than others, but as I've always believed, the eyes are the windows to the soul. One look there, and you'll know. Good luck!

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  • I did this all the time with maybe some small sings of interest.
    That's why I always say ask her out - no matter what (unless she has a bf).

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  • oh I'm a mix between A and B. really depends on how hopeful i feel.

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  • I've only "liked" two people.

    The first guy I liked, I met in high school when I was like 15, and I crushed on him hard for 2 years. I was completely inexperienced and really really shy so yeah, I almost never showed that I liked him. My "signs" were picking a seat near him and one time asking him to be on my team when all our friends were playing hide and seek. So pathetic lol

    The other guy I liked, I had more intense feelings for. I loved him. A lot. And this was post-graduation, it was summer, I was more experienced and less shy, AND he was super flirty so I wasn't afraid to make it super obvious that I had a thing for him.

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  • I mean, if I think the guy I'm crushing on isn't interested in me, then I don't want to make a fool of myself by following him around like a sad little puppy, but if I think he might like me or having figured it out yet, I'll definitely find a way to let him know I'm interested 'cause I want to know if it's mutual.

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  • Yes, I used to do this a lot. Because I was shy, nervous and afraid. And what's more, he was my trainer, much older than me, so it would be very inappropriate and I could ruin my only chance to succeed in something that means everything to me. I was had to spend time with him on our trainings few times a week, so it was rather stressfull period for me as I felt I behave like an idiot around him.

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  • Yes and its funny because mu crushes have told me that I gave them mixed signals so they could never figure out if I liked them ir if it was just the way I acted. And they were hesitant to approach me.

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  • If he has charming fashion, and a classy sophisticated style..(my ideal type). I'll immediately act supershy , but if he is casual... and I have a crush , I'd hide it by being overly funny and probably embarrassing, really when a girls hiding her crush, there is always something off balance in her emotions or behavior

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  • I do it alllll the time. But I'm naturally flirty so when I actually do get a chance to talk to him I guess he can maybe notice that I'm flirting. (Although that's not until mmaybe the third time talking to him after I am not as nervous lol)
    But most of the time I pretend I don't like him. I'm waaay to shy and nervous to try to show any signs haha.

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  • Well, yes.

    I already know I have no chance, rejection would just be salt in the wound at this point.

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  • Yep especially when he's really hot & I feel like I'm being too obvious...

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  • When I like someone, it's usually pretty obvious and I'll flirt, arrange to meet etc.

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  • It depends how mch I like the guy. I pretend that he's friend material and just that I want to be friends only. Then I make ways to get to be alone with him. If the response and outcome has potential, I get on from there.

    But really it don't show interest even if I am interested.

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  • Yes, very often. I mostly ignore my crushes, so I don't look like a creep. But I look at him from time to time, hoping he'll notice.

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  • It has happened to me before and still is. He has a girlfriend too yet he still does it... I don't know

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  • No if I have a crush I'm all up on that

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  • This literally describes me. The dude would think that I barely notice their existence, meanwhile I'll have a huge crush on them

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  • Yes I do this a lot but sometimes I show small signs of interest. I don't want to come out as a creep or stalker to my crush, lol :)

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  • Yes because I know they won't be interested.

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  • Yes... Many times. Lol.
    Sometimes, I used to show him interest though.

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  • sometimes, yeah.

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  • Sure, treating you as a friend ya, ok
    But pretending they you don't interest me At All? No

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  • Yes, I do this mostof the time
    can you please answer my most recent question?

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  • Yes, I do this. The reasons can be various:
    1) Not want anyone to notice
    2) embarrassed that I have a crush
    3) not sure how he feels (usually it's easier for me to approach a guy if I'm sure he likes me)

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  • This was a very very bad habit I've finally managed to kick. Partially because I started feeling dumb for it, but what really kicked me into gear was reading a study that the most important thing in picking people up is showing interest in them.

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  • I always do this but not all the time also sometimes when people are very ugly I might react the same.
    ..
    . but that's only because I'm nervous as hell.
    And if I try to speak I'll stutter and stuff. Stuff you do when nervous.

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  • More from Girls
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What Guys Said 16

  • I think more people do this than anyone realises. It's primal to want to protect one's self. I do this all the time. I suspect guys in general do it less than girls do, but everyone has probably done it in order to put them at some sort of advantage strategically.

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  • Maybe when I was in middle school. :|

    If you like someone, MAKE IT KNOWN. Don't NOT do anything and then cry about how you're "forever alone". That's your own fault if you do.

    I'm not directing this towards you, Asker, but just saying this in general.

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    • Have you noticed how the majority of the girls who do that shit are still single?

      Gee, I wonder why that is.

  • OMG I swear a girl at my summer job was doing this! Drove me nuts. She seemed all chatty and playful with me, and got more and more withdrawn and cold to me as time went on.

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  • All the time. I don't know why I do it. First I show signs but as soon as someone notices it I shy away. Even when I had 99% chance of acceptance, I had gone numb :(

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  • Oh ambiguities...

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  • If I really am attracted, I'm pretty damn assertive about things. Doesn't surprise me at all most girls voted A or B lol.

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  • *Raises hand*

    Guilty.

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  • Yes I do. Lincoln said keep your mouth shut and theyl think your a genius, Open it and remove all doubt, Since I don't know what to say that a woman may want to hear, I avoid getting into the situation where I have to talk to them,

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  • who the heck hasn't?

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  • All three of the reasons.

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  • Every single time

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  • I did, but it doesn't work apparently.

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  • Yes, at work. I don't date coworkers, so feelings need to be kept in check.

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  • Sigh why do the majority of girls do this... how the hell are we supposed to know what you're thinking? If you ignore us, we think you hate us or we simply don't exist to you.

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  • Yeah, I have. And it's a little of all those reasons... And the one I have right now, it's because I want to stay just friends even though I really like her. I know. It's complicated. I can't be the guy she needs, but I want to be around her. She would take me if I asked her, but that would be sending her the message that I'm ready for something I'm not actually ready for.

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    • You really sound like the guy I like. At least it's not as uncommon as I thought...

    • Show All
    • The first time, I saw "You really sound like a guy I'd like." Hahaha Yeah... I don't think being a mother was much of a consideration of her own, but I respect her for raising this little girl like she has. The real dad is kind of a dick and nowhere to be found.
      Anyway, without knowing the guy, I really can't offer any reasons aside from the possibility that maybe he just lost interest in that type of relationship.

    • Ohhh I see. Sorry about that :P yeah, I don't know... He still gets nervous and fidgety, but maybe with a negative side instead of a positive one like it was before. I don't know. I intend to ask next time I see him, so I'll hopefully know soon enough. I didn't realize your crush had a kid, but it sounds like she's doing the best she can :) good luck in your situation, as well!

  • Well maybe not ignored but sometimes I'd wait to respond to someone and maybe not put as much effort, in the initial stage, so that way I wouldn't appear overly interested/too available.

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