This will be a rant. So you've been warned.
I'm a 21 year old guy. I'm a complete introvert and despite being smart according to friends, teachers and test results, I feel like a complete failure for so many reasons. I'm a virgin but it's because I never developed a social life. I've never even asked a girl out. I feel like I'm slowly becoming bitter and my one dream of falling in love is beyond me now and I don't deserve it because I'm a damn monster. I work in a rubbish job because it's the only job that won't make my anxiety spike and allows me to avoid people. I go to college to study a degree I hate with people I don't know in the name of a future I don't want.
The funny thing is that there is nothing I'd like more than to finish myself off right now. This world, and the people within it are beyond help, either that or I was born wrong. I am tired of feeling depressed, nervous and lonely. I want it to be over and I want me to be over. Instead, because I can't put my family through it I'm stuck whining on the Internet like a bitch. Stuck unable to change my situation but prevented from ending it.
Am I really the only one who just wants it over? How are you people happy? Wtf is wrong with me and why would it be so bad for me to end my miserable existence? All I want is to be let go.
Most Helpful Girl
I hope you are feeling a little better than you were when you wrote this <3
You don't deserve to feel that way at all, it sounds like you're really hurting :(
I know you said you've already tried to get help from someone professional, but if you are suicidal then that really needs to be treated as a medical emergency: please call a crisis line or go to the hospital if you're having thoughts of harming yourself in any way.
You will not always feel like this. It feels like it's forever, but it is possible for you to recover and there are things that will help. It will take a lot of strength, and it will take time, but you will get through this. You will be able to enjoy things again. People care about you, and you do deserve for them to.1
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