Me and my wife are thinking of having our first child, but we are thinking of using a surrogate mother to get pregnant and have the child so my wife does not have to. This means this surrogate mother will be carying our biological child (my sperm, my wifes eggs.) evin though she is not our childs biological mother. The reason why is because both me ad my wife are independently wealth and are both working on furthering our careers. Therefore my wife does not want a pregnantcy to get in the way of her career, or for a pregnentcy to mess up her body because she has a very fit body. What do you think about us doing this?
- It is unnatural, she will not experience the wonders of childbirth.31% (4)40% (2)33% (6)Vote
- It is okay for you to do that.46% (6)40% (2)44% (8)Vote
- I don't know/see results.23% (3)20% (1)23% (4)Vote
Most Helpful Girl
In my opinion, surrogacy should only be used if the two of you absolutely CANNOT have a baby on your own. The fact that people do surrogacy because they dont want to stop working or ruin their "shape" is selfish to me and means that they're not quite committed to parenting. But thats just me. Do you.3
Most Helpful Guy
In my opinion that is morally extremely questionable to say the least. In my country, surrogacy is completely illegal and though I do not agree with it, I can understand why. I believe that surrogate mothers should be exclusively used for couples who cannot have a child the natural way and I also believe that it should be illegal to even do it for reasons such as yours.
I have the strong impression that you and your wife and confusing a child with getting a dog. Why don't you guys just buy yourself a pet? It's cheaper, less work and it fulfills it purpose just fine... which in your case seems to be some kind of ego-compensation or "having company".
You claim that a pregnancy would mess up your wife's career. If you really think that way, what about the time AFTER the birth of your child? Are you two just gonna go to work and leave the baby home alone? Or are you just gonna pay three different nannies to take care of it? If yes: again, why don't you just buy yourself a dog or a cat? Babies have to be taken care of. Particularly in the first few years of their lives, they need TONS of attention. And by attention and mean the parents' attention, I don't mean some stranger who gets paid to feed your child and play with it! You should be aware of the fact that modern psychology knows that the first 5 years of a person's life are MORE important than the whole rest of his/her life. This is the time when a baby/child learns about all the most important things in life, when it forms its character, personality and even its basic pattern of thinking. This is why children who get abused at a young age are traumatized for the rest of their lives. If you fuck up your child's start in life, you fuck up his/her whole life.
Becoming a parent is a huge commitment and I don't think either you or your wife are even willing to make this commitment.
I also hate the idea of you doing this because it's a direct consequence of our modern consumerist society. People like you seem to believe that money can buy anything and that you are somehow entitled to have a taste of everything in the world. Well, you're not. People have forgotten how to make tough choices. If you wanna become a parent, become a parent, a DECENT parent. If you wanna become some rich dude who's all horny about his career, just get yourself a dog.
And no, this has nothing to do with freedoms. I think it's crazy how some people here just say "whatever works for you" as though we'd be talking about gay marriage.1