My friend is a single dad to a 3 year old. I am a big part of his life because he needs some sort of female figure in his life like any 3 year old does. He used to call me mom until we corrected him and had him call me auntie but my boyfriend is still agitated by it. I take the little boy shopping for clothes and such and meet my friend a couple times a week to take the little guy somewhere fun. Last weekend my boyfriend, friend, friend's son, and I were at the zoo and on multiple occasions people stopped us and said that we made a cute family (my friend, his son, and I) or that my 'son' was adorable and my boyfriend got even more pissed. Is it inconsiderate of me to be this close to them and how can I make my boyfriend understand and calm down?
Most Helpful Guy
Ask him flat out are you going to still be pissed if when ever we have a child when these two call each other cousins if he still is mad leave him cause he's inflaming the situation stupidly accept the kid. Geez its a 3 yr old cut the kid and his dad some slack.0
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Most Helpful Girl
It's wonderful that you are such a positive role model for the little boy, but I can see why it makes your boyfriend uncomfortable. And it will be hard to find another man who understands and is comfortable with the arrangement.
You're essentially building a familial bond with the son and the man as well. The man could be using his son to get closer to you, and even if he isn't, that's likely how your boyfriend views this situation. I would be so upset if I were in your boyfriend's shoes at the zoo. Like if strangers think you two are together you must have some natural chemistry/body language that indicates it. Maybe you don't notice it but your boyfriend sure as hell does.
Unless you plan on getting with the father in the future it may not be best for the child to get this close to you either. He needs a motherly figure yes, but what happens when the man gets involved with someone seriously? It's going to be confusing for the little guy who got so used to you... and now there's this other woman here he's expected to essentially "replace" you with. It will be traumatic no matter how you go about it. I'm not saying not to be in this kids life, but you can still be a positive role model and female figure for him without being SO involved. You aren't exactly being fair to him by mothering him so much, but not intending on being a permanent fixture or mom to him. Like you aren't making the full commitment. You aren't expected to by any means... But when you go think about how it will effect the child.0
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