Can someone give me guidance please, tips, hints anything really?

Right so i've reached a wall in my life, i'm literally stuck, it's taken me 3 years to get my job and now i've been dropped down from 40 hours a week to 8, i have my flat to pay for, i've had to sell my car, yet i just keep fighting, i've never had many friends maybe 2 people i could trust with anything and i value them greatly, but i've never felt wanted... or needed, i don't blame them at all but they have there own lives, having had kids and such they're busy and i understand that, but i've never had many people having moved from place to place all the time, from family to family until i set on my own path, i've never really had parents... if that's what they could be called, no siblings or anyone to share my life with, i've never felt like anywhere requires me.
But i've just had enough, i find it hard to fit in or settle down never having experienced much in the way of emotions or really any feelings or anything, i was never encouraged to do good with my home work or told i could be anything, i was never told about the birds and the bee's i guess i could call it that, or played out much as a child or ever went on any adventures or trips, never had a family, i've led a solitary life really, i recently or rather 2 month ago came out of a relationship having found out she cheated on me with her ex which she told me on a date i'd planned all out for a fancy night to treat us both, i thought i'd do it as much for her as me as i've never really connected with anyone so it was hard but well worth the effort to make myself and someone else smile, and another didn't share my feelings back, i don't really know how to explain what i haven't experienced because... well i haven't experienced it, i just feel empty lately like i don't belong, i'm not worthless or suicidal at all but despite my few victories over illnesses, issues and such... i'd just like to ask if anyone could offer a direction, perhaps hobbies, ideas, jobs, holidays heck even a tv show just anything would be nice :)


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  • Lemme ask you a very real question son.

    And I know this sounds generic, but I'm being serious as fuck when I ask you this question.

    Think very long and hard before answering.

    Okay, here goes:

    What do you want out of life?

    And by you, I mean YOU. Not your friends or family, like, YOU you.

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    • Thanks for the response, i don't really know to be frank i mean i've never really had a ambition or a dream like i don't know been a astronaut or a fire man or heck a photographer for example or a sense of direction, the majority of my life has been focused on me getting myself by, losing friends, what little family i had having no one to guide, assist or even care it's mostly been about getting myself by and into some form of stability always saving and working my way up, i don't really need to think long or hard.

      I guess one thing i would like and this may sound silly, but stability a family environment of my own and to hopefully one day have kids and have met someone not just to have someone but to make a difference to someones life and mine, give them the life i never had the kids i mean, maybe be a carer of some sort or to listen, no offence but i don't really have a family one relative who talks to me aha but to answer you i'm not 100% sure so sorry but i can't give a solid answer.

    • Okay, don't be embarrassed to say what you really think. I won't judge.

      Fuck, you could've said a cross dressing celebrity star singer, and I would have (and still will) take you seriously.

      Okay, first thing is first son. You need some soul searching. The great thing about life is that it has MANY roads, but in order to be led down a road, YOU need to need to set the starting point. Other people can guide you (which is great) once you've taken the first step, but no one, literally, no one on Earth, can TELL you what your road is.

      After you've figured it out, you're gonna have to ask yourself a very real question, "How high are my standards, and are they obtainable?"

      If they are difficult to obtain, can you deal with what comes with that? Some people in the end drop their standards, some people proceed forward and brace the difficult path.

      Look to your core, find out what you truly want, don't let society or other people come into the equation. Find a base, then start from there.

    • Nah don't worry i don't really do embarrassment, although i can't lie that combination would be good minus the cross dressing i don't think i'd fit in most womens clothes :)

      I've been doing quite a lot of thinking lately about things i'd like to do and things i'd want, like i would like a new phone for example, and to get a car again, tone myself up and make a hobby of exercise, i'd like a tattoo sleeve design i've been building upon for a while, or to get back into gaming, maybe get a smaller flat and take up something like photography or such, i've never really defined myself by societies standard in fact i once helped someone out of depression with the same motto, she though very little of her self and everything was great but then she... well moved on, i'd like to surround myself with a few more people if possible, get settled down properly and call this place my home properly, i'd like to establish a connection with someone or people and feel like i belong for once.

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