I seriously hate them. My sister is a loser 25 no education obese and emotional unstable. My mom tries to claim the mom of the year award even though she stopped acting like a mom a long time ago. My dad works long hours and is just exhausted and lays on the couch all day and eats fast food when he's home. They all make me feel terrible for helping me through college and they barely help I had to get scholarships and say I'm lazy when they can't understand I can't that I can't take 20 engineering units and work full time. It is unbearable. I don't think I'm going to include them in my future at all once I leave in a couple months.
U feel like they robbed me of my youth and caused me to be miserable throughout most of my life with unessasary stress.
- Just forget them and move on with your life48% (11)45% (10)47% (21)Vote
- Give it some time after you move out and try to rekindle.52% (12)55% (12)53% (24)Vote
Most Helpful Girl
My experience was similar. My parents are hoarders & were abusive mentally & physically when I was a child.
I had to pay my way through college as well and I totally agree with, "U feel like they robbed me of my youth and caused me to be miserable throughout most of my life with unessasary stress."
I don't hate my parents. I did in high school, but now I feel overwhelmingly sad for them, because their life didn't have to be like this. We're not close at all anymore, its gotten to the point I see them on birthdays & holidays.
My sisters & I turned out fine, sort of. The eldest has her degree in accounting, is on her 2nd marriage, but she is argumentative like our parents. My other sister, has a MS in mathematics, she married a douchebag that relies on her to take care of him, just like our parents relationship. And me, well, I got a BS in Psychology & I'm not good in relationships. I've concealed myself in a safe bubble & rarely venture out or let others in. I'm sociable, people love me, but its all surface level/superficial.
Just saying the family dynamic does play a part of your adult life & personal relationships.
I got through college by:
1. Taking online courses from community colleges, because they were cheaper, in addition to courses at the university I was enrolled at
2. Becoming a Resident Assistant, that covered room & board, you have to live on campus first before applying
3. Joining student organizations & then winning scholarships through them
4. Working additional jobs in the housing office & restaurants
5. Keeping my GPA up - never let it drop below a 3.0, if it drops the scholarships will stop
6. I had "just in case" credit cards that I never maxed out. I was responsible & now my credit is outstanding (740)
This was not easy & will definitely be hard for an engineer major but it can be done. You will get overwhelmed, just take a break, gather yourself & then get back to it! Enjoy our time in college, its a one of king experience, so party when you can!
I would also focus on finding a partner while in college, the population & diverse selection greatly outnumbers what will be available once you join the workforce. LOL :) Good Luck!0
Most Helpful Guy
No I don't hate my parents. They are dead and I wish they were alive.
OK, so maybe your family life sucked. Maybe your parents and family aren't the best in the world. But now it's YOUR life and you have to take responsibility for it. You are judgmental and full of hate. Maybe your past made you what you are. But you have to take what you are, and go from there. You can carry that hate around and let it slowly eat you up. Or you can start trying to let it go.
You can't snap your fingers and it magically disappears. But if you don't want it to eat you up, you need to stop pointing fingers. It's your life now, and you are responsible for it. So you don't like what you've become. Then do something about it.
You have to forgive your parents. You must. You are an adult now. You can no longer expect your parents to be infallible. You are not perfect. I am not perfect. Your parents are not perfect either. Has it ever occurred to you that THEIR life sucked too? Has it occurred to you that they are struggling with all the same shit that life throws at us? They have to deal with the same kind of shit in life that you do. Give them a break, and give yourself a break. It's called forgiveness. For them and for yourself.
Your sister is obese and emotionally unstable. And you are full of hate. She grew up in the same family you did. She's dealt with it differently than you have. Do you think she has some special secret on dealing with it? You of all people should understand her. Instead of sympathizing with your sister you judge her.
So you are taking a heavy load at college. Engineering isn't easy. It sucks having to deal with this shit while you need to be concentrating on school. But somehow you have to deal with it. All you can do is look at reality, take a deep breath, and move forward.1