Can you be problack and date a different race?

I am very problack. I love everything that has to do with pan-africanism. I in my room there is nothing but the Pan-African flag. My car has a pan-african flag. My clothes are pan-african inspired. I always wear my afro with my pan-african hairband or beanie. My nails are the colors of the pan-african flag. I support the #blacklivesmatter movement. I plan on visiting Africa one day and I just enjoy my blackness. My friends and I have started a group called "Melaninists." We all just come together and we talk about our skin tones and what's going on within our community. I know you guys are tired of the whole black girl - white guy questions but this means a lot to me. My boyfriend is white. We have been together for only 3 days. He is very understanding and supports me in wanting to be a civil rights activist one day. Me and the other "Melaninists" were talking about conditioners for our hair and what was going on with our day. We started talking about all the beautiful black guys at our school, that's when I decided to tell them that I was dating my boyfriend. They told me that I couldn't do that because I was diminishing the image our Melaninist group. They told me this isn't what a true problack female, would do. They're still talking to me and they are still my friends but they don't want me to be part of this group. I told them, I could be problack and date a white guy. I just want your opinions so I can show them and prove to them that just because my boyfriend is white, doesn't mean I can't still be problack.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • contrary to popular belief, most feminists are not lesbians.

    anyway, it's kind of silly to be pro-anything and then assume that means whatever group you are "pro" should be exclusive. It's supposed to mean the opposite of that - that you want them to be included.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think it's realistic to be problack and date someone who does not completely and fully understand the racial obstacles you and your future children will face for being black. If you're dating someone who dismisses or overrides #blacklivesmatter with #bluelivesmatter or #alllivesmatter, then isn't that a smack in the face? If you're black and you're dating someone who tries to convince you that your experiences and feelings aren't real with a defensive, unempathetic tone, then how does that work out? What are they going to tell your children one day when they are racially profiled? If you end up being unjustifiably brutalized by the police are they going to say "Well, ____ *your name* did have a mouth on her! She should have just complied."
    I can see why someone may think you're a hypocrite if you claim to be problack yet embrace someone who thinks like that.

    I've experienced that before as a minority who dated a white dude that could not understand my struggles as a minority. Our bond could only get so deep and his responses made me crave, miss, and fantasize about a more understanding man (who would probably be another minority.)

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What Guys Said 2

  • in my opinion it is possible to have strong pride in your culture and be able to interracially date.

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  • Being proud of your race doesn't mean not loving people who belong to other races. As soon as a group starts forbidding it's members to date people because of their skin color, it becomes a group that won't be able to offer real solutions to issues you are dealing with. You be with a guy who makes you happy and treats you right, no matter his race.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Pro-Black does not mean anti-white and that's where a lot of people mess up. I support the #blacklivesmatter movement. And the melanin movement. I'm proud of who I am as a black person. I'm all for justice and equal rights for us. But I don't hate white people. That's not what being pro-black is about. There are people of all ethnic backgrounds that are pro-black, including whites. I'm anti-hate. Anti-discrimination. Anti-prejudice. That's what I feel being pro-black is about.

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  • Why are some black people so fanatics like you? Seriously, it's just the amount of Melanin in one's skin. No need to go over the top about it, treating it as if it were a New boyband or something.

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  • Dump those biotches as friends because they are not. Get real friends

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