Does therapy work?

I'd like to know your experiences with therapists or psychologists.

I've noticed that I have some issues that I'm not really sure how to address. My self esteem is pretty low and I have a tendency to take everything (even compliments) the wrong way and react to them in an exagerrated manner. (When friends say I'm pretty but I always get annoyed and accusing him of lying). I become really attached to people too fast. (Especially guys I'm dating). I also have a tendency of trying to be controling and I get really angry or sad over little things. I punch myself in the head and face when I'm upset with myself.

I know these behaviors aren't healthy so I want help. I went to a psychiatrist a few months ago and I wasn't diagnosed with anything but she suggested therapy. From your experiences, do you think therapy would help improve my behavior?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Therapy is effective if you are willing to do the work. I say this because often times people will seek out therapy to have all of their problems "solved" or to get all the answers. Truly effective therapy is designed to provide you with an avenue by which you can provide your own solutions. Problem resolution involves accepting responsibility for both your actions and your choices and knowing that sometimes you have to lose a little to win. I know this sounds confusing and in all fairness the path to self enlightenment can indeed be confusing, but try to remember it's not always about having all the answers, but knowing what to do with the ones you have. I recommend therapy, but be aware it will take work and commitment on your part, lastly understand that a good therapist isn't the one who will "fix" everything for you, but help provide you with some perspective and helps you think about things in a different and hopefully constructive fashion.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I went to one once and she never wanted to talk to me again, which is a terrible therapist. I suggest you find one through a recommendation through your local doctor.

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What Guys Said 24

  • Only to an extent.

    Personally I think therapy is some sort of placebo effect. It doesn't really do much in itself, but because you are somewhat forced by the pressure of having to do something out of the therapy to talk about your issues and confront them. Additionally you have the occasional insight of an outsider which can help.

    That being said - no one can walk your path. In the end only you can walk your own path towards bettering with your own two feet. Yes, people can be along the way and attempt to point towards general directions as help or support you along the path - but in the end they can't walk for you.

    Also I am really against any kinds of pills, if it's not an emergency. I feel like they will not fix any problem, but just procrastinate them. The problem with this is that all the issues pile up and you aren't used to handle them with its full impact anymore - so when you stop using pills reality hits you with full force in the face after you aren't used to it anymore and thus it gets even harder to handle.

    Source: I am volunteer counselling for several years now and this is my personal experience.

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    • P. S. If you want some general conversation and eventual insight about your issues, feel free to write me a private message.

    • Thanks 😊

  • It depends on two things.
    1) The skills of the therapist. (Work with someone that is used to work with people your age and sex.)
    2) Whether or not you are willing to follow the instruction, listen, and speak your mind to the therapist.

    If both apply, then yes, therapy works.

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  • I had a few therapy sessions. It was more like life coaching. I told him about (the thing I was getting therapy for) and he pointed out the parts that didn't make much sense and we talked about how I deluded myself those times. We also talked about other things that were going on in my life and things I could do to better my life. For example, we decided I should try to study with other people to help my loss of enthusiasm in school and my loneliness, but to do that I'd need to start working on things earlier. He said that a lot of people have problems that seem complicated to them, but if you share with someone they'll see it from a different angle with different experiences, and that can make a really big difference.

    I personally don't think therapy will solve all your problems. But I 100% suggest it in your case. You've listed a lot of issues in your life. Therapy will probably give you a better perspective on those problems and how they probably came about.

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  • I been in therapy off and on since age 19-21.. so if you can get a good therapist it will work if not than things won't work out that good.. So far I'm happy with the current therapist and psychiatrist i have it seems to be working a little bit.

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    • they really love that codependent relationship, which is curious cause they seem to think they're the ones most qualified to cure codependence.

  • I think therapy can be good or bad depending on the therapist, and it will either be VERY good or VERY bad.

    Vet your prospective therapist for ideological thinking. Find out of they're a feminist, even if you're a woman, even if you're not at all interested in sexual politics, because it shows dogmatic and ideological thinking. These people will ruin your head. P. S. If you are a feminist, get therapy for THAT.

    Also a suggestion: Don't worry about your self-esteem. It's just a feeling. Your self-esteem will come and go. Focus on self-respect, and how that's different, and how to get that. It will be much more valuable to you and you'll find that your self-esteem is higher when you have self-respect.

    P. S. You can't just give yourself respect -- like with anyone else, you have to earn it according to your own criteria.

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  • It really depends on the therapist. You need to choose wisely.

    I initially felt good talking to my therapist. being able to talk to someone about things you wouldn't normally talk to anyone about, kinda lifts the burden off you. After few months I didn't feel I was making any progress so I stopped going. I did not go to another therapist after that.

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    • Ok thanks, how long did it take for you to find that theripest?

    • Not really long actually. One of my Dads friends nephew is a therapist. but she was getting married at that time. so she referred me to a friend of hers.

  • Yes absolutely, because it will help you find the root of these thoughts and feelings and give you healthy tools and perspectives to deal with them. You'll be amazed at what an unbiased perspective on a situation can give you. I have been in therapy multiple times in my life and can honestly say it's absolutely helpful.

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  • Yes, it does work, as long as you're insightful and open and honest, and are in touch with understanding your problems.

    You should definitely go for it. I've been in therapy for almost a year now and it does help you out.

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  • A therapist helped me a lot, but not every therapist can help every person. If you see someone and it's not helping, try someone else.

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    • Thanks I'll try to find someone decent

  • Psychologist are more about talking about and seeing what's the root cause since it's not a medical/biological problem.. it could be personality, bad memories.. etc. which can really be cured with medicine. But after talking to u r psychologist he might refer u back to the psychatiast after having better idea if the root cause and prescribe maybe anxiety pills. I don't know, I'm seeing a psychologist now and he want to send me to a psycharist.

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  • I've had good experiences with psychologists and therapists. Psychiatrists not so much; they put me on medications that had all sorts of horrid side affects.

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  • yes it does work for me pretty well but it took me ten years to find the right therapist so dont get discouraged

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  • no. no it doesn't.
    psychologists can't even tell if you're actually full blown insane or not, much less if you have a minor "brain disorder". these are arbitrary character traits which become the basis for a stigmatized label with NO basis in science, actual biochemistry or reality, which is treated with someone who usually doesn't have a very good grip on their own life or their interpersonal relations telling you how to live your life, or medications from a corrupt trillion dollar industry who advocate codependence on drugs that cause all of the side effects they're prescribed to cure, which can and often do kill you, that are not licensed by the FDA, of which at least 10x as much is spent advertising them than actually studying them.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6bmZ8cVB4o

    The father of modern psychology, who started the religious psuedo-science cult called the APA, believed mental illness was caused by excess blood in the head and the solution was bloodletting, or partially drowning someone until they just "stop" doing whatever the hell it was that you thought they were doing wrong. Psychologists were the driving inspiration for the nazi party, the ideas of eugenics and aryanism, jim crow laws, all derived from psychological papers of the time. In the 70s, it was MKULTRA, a bunch of ex nazi psychologists working for the CIA with an unlimited budget to kidnap and torture American and Canadian civilians for no other reason then to try to figure out how to control their minds. And they failed, all they managed to do was cause a whole bunch of needless suffering and traumatize people for life. But that didn't stop people from continuing to practice the very things they proved didn't work to this day. And all of a sudden since then people have this delusion that psychology has turned over a new leaf and its now here to help people, thats a bold faced lie. Just because they found a couple receptors in the brain they think they know what the crap they're doing now, they don't. They can't even decide on whether MORE seratonin or LESS seratonin causes depression and anxiety and thats probably because its a complicated problem that they dont fully understand and are oversimplifying, but that won't stop them from putting it in you. and in recent years the NIMH has had to distance itself from the APA cause NONE of their research backs up the DSM, in fact their findings refute the idea of a "brain disorder" and the one main reason its still in practice is so psychologists can bill your insurance

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    • and before any of you try to placate me with the cop out "oh well that might be YOUR opinion, but it helps a lot of people", name one. Just name one. I'm sure there are people who THINK it has helped them, but there's also people who think the antioxidants in pomegranate juice have strengthened your immune system, a claim of which there is just as much scientific evidence to support. Which is to say none. The psychology industry just took a cue from the advertisement industry, and in fact found a way to succeed at marketing pseudoscientific bullshit in a way they couldn't, and any residual satisfaction is just the result of the placebo effect or just people that tend to fall for that kind of bullshit. Show me a psychology success story, and i'll show you a person who still thinks omega-3 is a miracle drug

    • Your probably right I've been in bullshit therapy for about 3 years and I feel pretty fucking shit and unhappy. I sleep most of the time I hate everyday life. It's like no matter how hard I've tried to be happy healthy it doesn't work it's coded in my genetics every man on my dads side inherited depression including me some even killed them self. I'm at the lowest point.

  • Cognitive behavior therapy might help; that's what it was created for, after all.

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    • Thanks for your suggestion, I might try it

  • yes it works, u it takes a few times to get comfortable venting to the therapist sometimes but if u find the right therapist it will be very much worthwhile, its like a doctor for your emotions so feel free to shop around

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  • Whether or not a shrink will work for you depends on your personality. For me, the best psychotherapy comes from the mind of my platonic female best friend. I could talk to her for hours, tell her anything, and the conversations we have had have been the most beautiful and profound ones in my whole life.

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  • In my experience in growing up with two therapists no... but that is only if you understand therapy.

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  • It can work if you find the right therapist. The therapist I went to were good people. But they were terrible therapists. I know they were trying to help me, but I don't think they were really qualified to be therapists.

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  • the best therapist is yourself.

    if you have to pay just so someone can talk to you, then something is wrong.

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    • Well obviously something is wrong, lol. You don't go to a doctor if you're completely healthy.

    • well then... sucks to be you... and good luck.

  • well yes, it would. but then they don't like people who are not like they are... so be warned.

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    • So I just need to find someone who is like me?

    • well forget what i said... but yeah find somebody is compatible with you.

    • Ok, thanks

  • No. Huge waste of time and money.

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  • therapy is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You... get on the couch, string 'em along with some half-lies and evasions, probe some deep dark holes, and then hand over all your money.

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    • I'm straight so it's hard to relate to that

    • Show All
    • I'm not sure what that was supposed to mean

    • If your at college you understand.

  • No, only Christ can heal psyches. phychiatrists are far from what their title says.

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    • And if I don't believe in God?

    • then you strive for the impossible. spirituality > psychology. everything starts from the soul even physical illnesses.

  • Well the first step is admitting you need help

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    • Yeah, I've done that. I just need to get it.

    • So go find it. Trial and error

    • Ok I will thanks

What Girls Said 16

  • I can't even say how many counselors/therapists I've had in my a life. My childhood involved some heavy duty emotional abuse so I had enough baggage to fill a 747. Some professionals were good, some not so much. You just gotta talk to the awhile, feel them out. See if the things they tell you make you feel any better. If they don't, then move on to someone else. They're all different.

    FYI, you don't have to be diagnosed with a particular problem, we all have some sort of issues. It's the strong, honest people in the world who can look at themselves and see they have work they could do to improve themselves. You're on the right path, so give yourself a break.

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  • Talk therapy is not just ''talking about your problems''; it is also working toward solutions. Some therapy may involve homework, such as tracking your moods, writing about your thoughts, or participating in social activities that have caused anxiety in the past. You might be encouraged to look at things in a different way or learn new ways to react to events or people.

    Most of today’s psychotherapy is brief and focused on your current thoughts, feelings and life issues. Focusing on the past can help explain things in your life, but focusing on the present can help you cope with the present and prepare for the future.

    You might see your therapist more often at the beginning of treatment, and later, as you learn to manage problems and avoid triggers, you might go to psychotherapy appointments less often.

    Good luck.

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  • My therapist made me cry every time i saw her when i was in high school.
    I was an awful kid with an eating disorder and there was no way she was ever going to help me so i stopped going. I went again last year and the lady wanted to hypnotize me so i said nooope and stopped going to that one as well. My boyfriend and one of my good friends have helped me more than any therapist ever will.
    Try going a few times and see if its progresses for the good of your situation or not and decide from there. Don't let other peoples experiences with a therapist determine whether you go or not (:

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  • I think the right therapist can really help.
    You also have to do the exercises they give you, to really get things moving.

    For me i went through some stuff and while the first therapist i saw was totally useless, the second made me feel very comfortable and was actually very insightful and helpful. I also found with the second therapist, she asked me what i wanted to get out of these sessions and then worked with me to achieve those goals. So i think knowing why you're there is helpful for getting the best results.

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  • I did therapy for 6 months for my anxiety and panic attacks. He was a pretty good therapist and for the first few months I really felt I was making breakthroughs in reducing the amount of anxiety I had. But not much progress later. I think in part because I wasn't admitting to things that were on my mind. So if you do therapy, you must be completely open to what you're feeling to get the most out of it.

    Make sure you choose a therapist who specializes in the issue you're dealing.

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    • Thanks 😊. I'll definitely try to be as open as possible

  • Yeah a psychologist would do better than a psychiatrist. Psychiaters give you medicine, psychologists talk to you. They would want to know why you've developed this way and would help you step by step on little things you can do daily to better yourself. Don't touch the drugs if there's no necessity. If you do need drugs, your psychologist would decide that and send you to a psychiatrist if he thinks your issues are beyond simple talking and needs drugs.

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  • Like everyone else said it depends on the therapist/psychologist and you. My school provides free psychologist and psychiatrist services. I went to see one because I wasn't happy about my course in life (I was planning on dropping out of school during my last year and doing a career change). My problem wasn't the normal problem they run into at the office so she created a special plan for me to follow along with following up on the suggestions she made to make sure I followed through.

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  • I have had a therapist since I was 13. if you get a really good one, you'll connect with him/her immediately. they often ask you how you're doing, which is kinda cliché, but you'll know they mean good if you connect. you'll just have to look around, ask people who have a therapist, or a counselor. but im 18 now, and I've moved away from mine, but I still keep in touch and call her every now and then.

    so the answer to your question is, in my opinion, yes.

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  • I'm 24 and I've been seeing a therapist since I was 10 on and off. a few years ago I switched therapist because I thought I wasn't seeing any results. and the one I'm seeing now it's making me feel better and she gives me assignments to do and I've become more aware of my own beliefs and thoughts and the root of my problems.

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  • For soke. Not all.

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  • Yes, please give it a try at least. My mom kinda forced me into it and I didn't want to open up but once I did it really, really helped. I find it sad that you are going through this and that you hit yourself. That's heart breaking.

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  • I"ve gone to different psychologist for my anxiety and I feel as though they help. The one I am seeing right now in particular. At first I was worried about going but now I know it was the best idea I've made.

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  • Yes it works! As long as you find the right type of therapy. My father was a therapist and i saw him transform peoples lives. A therapist provides you with the " tools" and advice needed in order to improve your life and yourself, but you will only see results if you follow his advice. No matter how difficult it is to follow.

    At times you may be expected to put yourself in uncomfortable situations , but life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

    If you apply everything the Therapist advises , then you will see how well therapy works. Sometimes a person has been strong for far too long on their own , that they need extra support and help from a Therapist.

    Recognising you need professional help , and motivating yourself to get that help... is the first step to improving your life and yourself. Good luck xx 💛

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    • Thanks for the Upvote! 🌷

  • Hello,
    I used to be a very shy, anxious girl who was afraid of doing almost anything. After my therapy which lasted approx. 2 years, I've become a strong, independent woman who is aware of her qualities, confident and a good communicator.
    So from my perspective I'd say a therapy is definitely worth a try! Good luck!

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  • I suppose it could depend on what you're seeing them for, but overall it's probably your best option. My sister went to therapy for anger issues (they just diagnosed it as that but they also believe that she has ADHD and crap but really they never pinpointed anything) and truthfully it really helped her. As long as you see a good therapist, of course. She used to go to this one woman and after a few weeks of my sister doing nothing there she received no improvement. But then she went to this other lady and honestly my sister got WAY more improvement with her.
    So although I've never been to therapy myself, I highly suggest you consider it if you feel this way.

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  • I'm in therapy now but I waited over 1 year after my traumatic experience to face my problems and now that I'm finally seeing a therapist I'm glad I did. My therapy is free and it would be silly not to take advantage of free therapy. It really depends on what you are talking about in therapy and how you are handling your problems. See for me I am unemployed and I had a lot of time to think about my problems which did not help

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