"Are you okay?" Does that question bother you when clearly you aren't?

Would you take offense to this? If someone asked you that question when you clearly weren't?

Example -
1-You cut yourself with a knife and you're bleeding a lot.

2-You fell down some stairs and you appear injured.

3- You're moaning in pain and agony and a concerned person asks you this.

Etc... countless examples remain...

Do you ever feel their anger is justified? Why ask me if I'm okay when I'm clearly not ! What a stupid question !!!

Shouldn't there be some other phrase that shows you are concerned? How can I be okay?

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I'm asking this because I've seen some people get angered when asked this question.

  • Yes
    45% (15)50% (18)48% (33)Vote
  • No
    55% (18)50% (18)52% (36)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • While it's the incorrect wording, 'are you okay' in these situations really means 'do you need or want help?'

    It gives people the opportunity, if they are more embarrassed then anything else, to say they are 'fine', which means, 'lets not discuss it any more and forget about it'. So in that sense, it's being polite, giving them that option.

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    • Yes that's what it means. But some people take the words to literal

Most Helpful Girl

  • I see it more as an offer of aid/request for explanation. Obviously it's not a direct way to say it at all, but I don't think it's meant to be taken literally. So no, I don't get angry, because I think about the intent rather than the literal meaning.

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What Guys Said 26

  • This is how I respond to those idiots "DONT BE ASKING ME NO STUPID ASS QUESTIONS BITCH!!!" or " NIGQA DO I LOOK ALRIGHT TO YOU -_-" I hate those kinds of people because they should be able to gauge how messed up you're via the injury/ies itself. Especially when they're 15+ years old on average -_-

    When I see that somebody is injured I don't say a word to them... naw I just grab the bandages + try to help patch them up/stop the bleeding because unless they're superman it's a good chance that they're in pain + I'd know it ^_^ i1127.photobucket.com/.../ezgif.com-add-text.gif

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  • No, I think in most cases, it's a knee-jerk reaction if someone asks. "Are you okay?", "What happened?", "What's going on?", etc. They might sometimes be obviously dumb questions, but someone's just trying to get up to speed. Therefore, if someone asks one of those and you reply with "No, I just decided to take my arm out of its socket and pump some blood out of my body because I was bored! OF COURSE I'M NOT OKAY!!!"... they shouldn't take it personally :-)

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  • 1-You cut yourself with a knife and you're bleeding a lot.

    2-You fell down some stairs and you appear injured.

    3- You're moaning in pain and agony and a concerned person asks you this.

    When i see someone doing this, of course a person know that you're NOT OKAY. I don't usually ask if they are ok, when something like that happens

    I only ask when i don't know how the other persons feels. Example: She broke up with her boyfriend, when you ask if you are ok, that means you care of them and didn't knew that would happen. That's whole different story.

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  • Thats why when I see someone who seems angery I ask them if they want a hug. Then they threaten to punch me in the face.

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    • Well clearly it's not helpful when you just blurt it out and stare unwilling to help. Or situations may wary, which are not in your pamphlet of examples. Like if a person hurts you both physically and emotionally unaware or bluntly (not realizing that they have) and the fact they ask you such question can fuel up your rage to respond angrily.

    • Whoops, my bad man. *kicks the stupid phone* Was supposed to be opinion not answer to you lol.

  • Well, they *want* to help, but often aren't sure how, or if you will take offense, etc. So it is the thought that counts.

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  • I understand the frustration and the lack of common sense of such a statement... but u gotta understand that when tragedy occurs, people are WAY more emotional and logical.

    The sooner you embrace this, the less bothersome u will get by this. :)

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  • Well, generally it's used as a opener to a obviously touchy subject...,, when we ask that question we are guaging the magnitude of the issue... we can't tell how you feel inside from what's going on, on the outside

    Sometimes what looks really bad isn't always that bad and sometimes what looks not so bad, can be very bad

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  • It's the obviousness of the question that angers the injured person further and it happens to all of us. rather than a closed end question that gives a closed end answer (yes I'm ok/no of course I'm not ok) try the open end question "OMG, what can I do?" They may still be angry at the event but not at you far asking the obvious question and also be able to see your goal is to help and instead of lashing out they may tell you what they need.

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  • I think they are generally trying to be supportive but it's hard to be supportive if the person isn't opening up to them. I usually ask if there's anything I can do to help instead of asking if they're ok.

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  • sometimes people just don't want help i feel like asking if they are ok is like a way of saying yo you need some help? but not everyone does soo.. yea

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  • I'm only angry when it's clear I'm not okay.

    If my leg is twisted backwards, do you think I'm okay?

    If I seem to be bleeding profusely, do you think I'm okay?

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  • If I'm dying and they proceed to waste the few seconds that count asking that useless question, hell yeah.

    Other than that, nah, not really.

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  • it does annoy me sometimes. but i generally find it nice because someone is taking time to think about how you feel

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  • how is that offensive? it is a valid medical question..

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  • I usually end up irritated and I will reply sarcastically. E. g. "Are you okay?" "Yeah, I just almost cut off my arm and I'm bleeding everywhere, but sure, I'm okay!"

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  • I think there aren't many other ways to verbally express concern when someone is hurt or injured. If the person responds no, then usually anyone concerned will help them out immediately.

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  • Sometimes it does, we all been there. Depending on the severity of the situation. At least they care.

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  • Really, just fscking ask "Can I help you?"

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  • yes i want to be treated like a superhero.

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    • like punisher or ghost rider... i don't think anyone will ever ask them if they're okay.

  • no... since it's not meant to be offensive... not everything we say is literal.

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  • Hey, at least they care.

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  • You are clearly uptight firm and hostile. Very narrow minded, closed and thick headed. Youngsters take offense to that also. When people ask you if you are okay they are trying to be empathetic and help. There is no other question other then, "How did that feel" or "serves you right". However those questions would mean they are in condolence to your possible injury.

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    • Did you read why I said I asked this question? I didn't say I get offended. I said I have observed others getting that way which is why I asked.
      So yes... read everything next time.

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    • What annoys me the most is when what I texted is replaced by something I didn't text.

    • Specify. Because in your first line you are directing your comment towards me

  • Should it?

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  • Hot enough for ya shorty?

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  • People make a fuss of the stupidest things, this being one of them

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  • It's an instinct!

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What Girls Said 19

  • I have been saying "I'm ok, or I'm fine" when realistically I'm not. It does bother me and then it doesn't.

    It only bothers me when the person who has noticed that I'm not ok is really someone I care about. I don't like looking weak because I am a strong person. At times I don't want them to see/hear me in a depressing state.

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  • There were many times when I fell down from the stairs and when my close friends asks if I'm okay I'd just calmly say do I look okay to you. They will help me up.

    But more than usual I'm good at keeping feelings to myself. So sometimes when people ask if I'm okay, most of the time it leads to me crying and they having to deal with that.

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  • I always try to hide it from people when I feel miserable, so when someone asks if I'm okay I usually end up bursting into tears and they have to deal with it 'cause they asked.

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  • It makes me so mad when people say this when I'm clearly being quiet. It's like I'm not allowed to be unhappy. For some reason their concern just gets lost in translation and I take offense that they're asking.

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  • Are you okay? = Do you need/want help?

    They're asking permission to help you, not if the sky is blue. It's a good way to avoid assault charges (touching anyone without permission automatically qualifies as assault in many places).

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  • yes most times it does and it annoys me

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  • for those examples, it wouldn't really bother me. some people may be upset by the question because they expect action, then questioning the obvious.

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  • It isn't really what they are asking though - what they are really asking is "Do you want my help?"

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  • Well I want to turn the knife on them and then ask they are ok? It's annoying as saying "is anyone there?" In a horror movie. It's blissful ignorance.

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  • Yes that bothers me because they know that's something's wrong with me but they still ask me what's wrong :/

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  • No, if I'm not ok and someone asks if I am I take it as a sign that they are concerned about how I am feeling. Even if I am ok, they're probably just double checking.

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  • Well clearly it's not helpful when you just blurt it out and stare unwilling to help. Or situations may wary, which are not in your pamphlet of examples. Like if a person hurts you both physically and emotionally unaware or bluntly (not realizing that they have) and the fact they ask you such question can fuel up your rage to respond angrily.

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  • As long as they help me out through the pain it won't bother me.

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  • No it doesn't bother me.

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  • It's a very annoying question that annoys me quickly.

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  • To avoid sounding dumb I always ask "is there anything I can do."

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  • Not at all. That makes me feel better because they actually care to some extent.

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  • When I broke my jaw and split my chin open my friends asked me "Are you okay" I responded "Yeah cuz ya know I bleed all the time I'm totally fine now take me to the fucking hospital" I wasn't feeling any pain because I was in shock but while in the hospital shock wore off and I cried :( there went my hardcore chick street cred. (I have no street cred but if I did I bet it woulda died cuz of that)

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  • No it doesn't bother me. I appreciate being asked

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