How do I make my boyfriend understand (and respect) that I want to live alone?

I just don't want to move in with him. We've been together several years. We lived together before, but thanks to a new job and about a million other things, I moved out and got my own place. It was an amicable split, and we did not break up. Neither of us wanted to end our relationship - I just needed more space. Being so close all the time was beginning to make me resent him. When I'm not around him all the time, I appreciate him and enjoy our time together more. This all makes such clear sense to me... but now after it's been several months, he is insisting we live together again. I have so enjoyed having my own home with my own rules. I have freedom, and I don't have any desire to use that freedom to cheat or find someone new. I love him and I want to maintain our relationship for the long term, and I know he feels the same way. I am happier with our relationship now than I have ever been in the past. I feel like I have the room to be the complete person I want to be... but if I say this to him, he interprets it as me wanting to be free to cheat on him. Neither of us are looking to get married and start a family. That doesn't mean I'm not committed to him. I don't want to end our relationship over this. I want to figure out how to help him understand how I feel. I'm tired of fighting over it. I can't seem to find any way to discuss it that doesn't end up with me sounding like I'm just selfish. This IS a selfish decision, but it's a logical one for our relationship too. If I don't have space to breathe, our relationship will never survive. I'm not going to relent. How do I talk to him about this?


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What Guys Said 1

  • It's logical for you not him. I don't think this will survive

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