What's the minimum you'd wait before proposing or accepting a proposal?

How long do you need to be in a relationship before even thinking of accepting a proposal or proposing? :o

What's the minimum you'd wait before proposing or accepting a proposal?

For me, I'd probably wait until we're in the 4-6 year range before considering it. (Assuming everything in my life is where I want it to be that is :P )


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Between 3-5 years, but tbh the thought of spending my life with someone is a bit scary. My parents divorced so I feel extra pressured to not make any poor relationship decisions, there's so many things to consider.

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    • Yeah it's definitely a scary moment, it's like this person is going to be there forever!! So you hope it's the right one, especially in your case since you have a bad experience on the matter... I think at the end of it all, you just know when you meet the right one and it's all about taking a leap of faith.

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    • Haha thanks! :)

    • Thanks for MHGirl. ✌😊

Most Helpful Guy

  • 3 years of living under the same roof and each having their own job sounds about right.
    You when you're in school is not the you when you are working , you when you're working is not the you when you have to work and have family obligations.

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What Girls Said 23

  • I think it really depends on the relationship. I guess at least a year. I'm also 26 so for me I think that makes a difference for me now. I've been through quite a bit and know what I want. When I was younger, I would say 4-6 years like you said. I think that's a good timeline if you aren't really sure. You want to make sure this person is going to be good for you. It's hard to tell when you are younger and there are so many changes.

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    • Have you gained enough experience to know your partner inside and out within a year? Or are you using your age as a mean of rushing into a long-term commitment?

    • No, I feel like I know my partner. We have both been through so much. It's more about for me being able to identify the red flags. When I was younger, I don't feel as though I would have been able to identify them as well or be able to handle certain situations. As I've gotten older, I realize what it is I truly want out of life and I won't sacrifice that for anything. When I was younger I would have waivered more.

  • If you're the type of person who is into marriage, then I feel like being with someone for 6 years and not even being close to being engaged is a waste of time. If you're not sure you want to marry them after at least 3 years, then what the fuck are you even doing anymore?

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    • The part about marriage is really just a legal document at that point, the dynamic of the relationship is still the same. You both know you want to be together for a long time, it's just that with so many people rushing into marriage so early, and end up getting divorced 5 years later simply because they were still in the "honeymoon" phase and didn't know their partner well enough.

    • For a lot of people it is just a legal document, but for the people who are legitimately into marriage it's more about just being a legal document. So those are the ones I don't understand.

  • I don't even know if I want to get married, but I would be a MINIMUM of like 3 years and then we'd be engaged for like 5 years. :')

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    • Lol long engagements are cool too :P
      Any reason why you're not sure about marriage?

    • Well I thought I wanted it, my ex didn't, I kind of accepted it but then in a matter of days, everything went the other way. From a romantic, dream of a relationship to nightmare and he showed his true colours after two years. I thought him being nice was just who he was but it was a mask all along so I don't want to risk that, getting married, being tied to them and them changing entirely and being trapped. People aren't who they say they are so I don't want to be tied to one.

    • Sorry if this ends up sounding a bit blunt, but you ended up picking the wrong guy and that happens to a lot of people but you shouldn't use a bad relationship as an overall standard for all future relationships. I can't even begin to imagine what it feels like to be betrayed by someone you shared everything with for the past two years... but it certainly won't be fair to the next guy whois genuinely a great guy, if you go in thinking he'll end up lying and doing the same to you.

      Did this happen recently? The way you wrote it made it seem that way.

  • at least 4 years i think.. it'd be different at different points in my life but i know it would be at least 4 years. for example when i met my boyfriend i was barely 17, and i was sure as hell not ready to get married or engaged at that point in my life. if i was 24 or 25, maybe it would have been sooner. right now i feel like i would be ready to be engaged, but i'd wait for the wedding and marriage. i'd like to have my own place before i get married.

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  • A good year, but I'm in that phase of my life now. It's not to say that I would get married right away. You can be engaged for a few years (or forever) before getting married.

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    • You really think you can find out everything there is to know about your partner in a year? That's still the honeymoon phase to some... where you still act differently in front of each other.

    • Thus the long engagement.

    • And you said "minimum."

  • I don't know, maybe 3 years I supposed. But I'd also take into consideration our financial stability, if it's not stable yet, no.

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    • Yeah I wouldn't want to get married when I'm still broke :P

    • Yeahh that's one thing to take into consideration cause if I were to ever follow the Chinese traditions, the wedding would probably cost a fortune ><"

  • I don't know, depends on a relationship... maybe at least 3 years I'd say.

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  • if i were younger, i'd agree that waiting longer is better because you don't know yourself and/or what you want well enough.

    that said, we are both older; i am 28 and he's 31. he's been engaged twice (in his late teens/early 20s~ see above), but neither of us have ever been married. so we've decided that we'll visit it at the 2-year mark. i don't want to push him into it, though this is the first time i've ever considered marriage to anything that's not my career. lol.

    a lot of people can't believe that, at this age, i've never been married. but, when almost every marriage in my family has dissolved within 10 years (though there are exceptions), it's understandable that it was never a priority for me.

    now that i've met the right guy, though, my outlook has changed. i am of the opinion that the rest of my family screwed up so that i don't have to~ i'm going to do this once, and i'm going to get it right.

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  • I'm the same as you 4-6 years and we HAVE to live together first. Otherwise there's no way in hell I'd accept. I wanna know want I'm getting myself into before it happens.

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  • Hmmm, I guess I'd say I'd like us to be together at least two or three years before getting married idealistically.

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  • if I truly felt in love, I'd accept as soon as I was asked. if too long goes by before being asked, I'd do the asking. though, I don't think a marriage license defines a couples love (or lack of real love for one another).

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    • Did you wander off again? lol you've been gone a while :P
      What's the soonest you've fallen in love?

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    • ha ha ha. I actually haven't seen one yet... (JINX!)

    • Oh I'll have to make one for you then... what kind of size problem should I make ;P

  • Based on my experience a few months... I get emotionally attached way too soon!😞😶🙈

    4 to 6 years seems like a huge waste of time in my opinion if you aren't going to spend the rest of your lives together.

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    • Is it really a waste? I mean marriage just makes it legally official, the fundamentals of the relationship hardly change... the way I see it is if we can't make it 4-6 years how can we promise to make a life-long commitment?

      Nothing wrong with your way either lol you have more experience than me in the marriage department :P

    • I think you could be passing over opportunities for the right person and I think you know well before that if it's someone you want to be with or not.

  • 5 months maybe.

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  • It would definitely be a couple of years. I don't see how people jump into marriages quick. It takes years to actually get to know someone & fall in love with who they actually are.

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    • Yeah lol some people get married within a year then get a divorce 3 years later... why rush it? :o

    • That's what I said. I want to know who I'm marrying & know for sure that I want to spend the rest of my life with them.

    • Yeah I was just agreeing with you lol

  • Yeah, I agree with what you said. You should wait until you truly love that person and when you're ready to make a commitment to them.

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  • A minimum of 3 years.

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  • Whenever i feel ready to move on to the next stage with the dude. I can't put a time frame on it.

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  • after living together for at least a year or so. maybe 3 years in that case

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  • For me I'd say around the 2-3 year mark you'd know. But I am also older :P

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    • Lol I think I'd know a lot sooner, I just wouldn't actually propose until the 4-6 year range
      Besides... I'd have to be done with law school before even thinking about marriage :P

  • I'd say at least 4 years. There's no need to rush things.

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  • Ideally I would want to be dating at least 2 years before we marry.

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    • What's your limit? Like if it hasn't happened by then... I'm calling it quits.

    • If we are together more than 5 years and no proposal I'd talk to him about it. By then you should know if you want to marry someone or not.

    • What if he made it clear that he there is no doubt he plans on marrying you... he just needs more time?

  • Alright... I was sure I want to marry my guy about 2 months into our relationship. It took about half a year to get to know him, another year to get used to the fact that life is not always gonna be fun. Living together is definitely a great idea. We've been practically living together since like 3-4 months into the relationship. I say after two-three years you have a pretty good idea about the other person.
    If you two are still very young - if after 2-3 years of dating you're just barely allowed to drink, you are too young to get married. Reason? People change big time at this stage of life. Second one, chances are, you are both in college/just started a job. Probably not in the best place to get married and start a family.
    One other thing, make sure you know what she wants - does she want a modest ring and nice small wedding? Or does she want a big rock and a big princess-like wedding? These days, you might be expected to chip in (depending on tradition... and your future in-laws). Because once you propose, it's too late to start crying that you didn't know what you were getting into.

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    • Good points, this wasn't related to me by the way lol I'd only consider getting married when I'm in my late 20's and early 30's.

  • Minimum 2 years
    But if I was head over heels who knows

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What Guys Said 7

  • 4 years at least. Gotta give it long enough so that if they're hiding the crazy it'll start to show.

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    • Hahaha exactly! :P

    • Lol can't argue with that... people marry each other while they're still in the "honeymoon" phase, but you need to really know each other

  • I thought about proposing to my partner from the 3 year mark. I knew then that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I talked her about it however she didn't feel the same way so we haven't yet.

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    • There's no need to rush it anyway... as long as you see it going the long run, that's all that matters.

    • Yeah I guess so, I just like the idea of us finally committing. Means a lot to me.

  • 5 years. I really want to make sure she is the right one.

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  • I would wait for 5 years max to give my answer after that It is a yes or a no.

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  • I have no set minimum, but I'd probably want us to be at least in our mid-twenties because until then our brains are not fully developed and no matter how great things may seem, significant personality and identify changes can and often do occur in the early twenties and late teens, which can destroy a completely good relationship.

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  • At least 2 years of being together, with an additional year of living together. So 3 years in total would be the minimum for me.

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  • It depends upon whether or not the kid is actually mine. DNA test first.

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