What makes a man stay faithful throughout a long relationship (a marriage even) with the same woman?

I know, I know. I myself don't believe that all men are cheaters, but I have to say that I have read a very depressing article, about how even men that seem to be good men will never be completely faithful.

What I mean by this is that a man can love his wife/ girlfriend, but even if he seems to be the perfect in love husband/ boyfriend, the love that he feels for his SO won't stop him from cheating on them.

The article basically said all men are cheaters. and if they are not, they are either being deprived of oportunities to cheat (for one reason or another) or they have some kind of religious belief.

What do you think? I think cheating has to do either with someone's satisfaction level on a relationship, with how much they love the person they are with and also with their character/ moral values.

Can any man stay loyal forever? I sure hope so. Because I am in love right now and I think my guy loves me too.

Updates:
enough not to need to roam around

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Look there is something called love but there are things like getting bored of that love that's why breaking the routine is important but love has to have other things like loyalty even if u got married and after 30 years if he stopped loving u he is still loyal and respects u and loves u but in another form of love it's called loyalty so at a time after a very very very long relationship love turn into loyalty and tgat is the right form of love at this point so believe in ur man don't over think and have faith in god 😊

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It doesn't take a lot. It's really not hard to not cheat on someone

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    • well I think that the guy that wrote the article was a prick

      he basically directed this letter to women on how they should learn to settle, because no men however good u might think he is will stay faithful.

      nd if he does the reason is not because he loves u, oh no!

      I hate that guy right now honestly

      he made me cry

      no one should tell that to a woman in love

What Guys Said 7

  • I would like to begin my response with saying that my mom is a psychologist, specialist on relationship and marriage counselling. Partially because of this, my view of relationships is somewhat... disillusioned. Though you could also simply say my view is "progressive" or "modern".
    Basically, I don't believe in happy monogamy on a long-term scale (20+ years). I do believe that monogamy is certainly possible. I believe that men and women can stay faithful for the rest of their life if they try hard and if they are somewhat disciplined people. I myself have been together with my girlfriend for 5 years, which is a long for our age group I suppose. However, I do not believe that people can be truly happy this way, especially if they haven't had the opportunity to make many sexual experiences prior to the long-term relationship they are in. This goes both for men AND women in my opinion. Women are often said to be faithful but believe me, this has more to do with certain patriarchic and possibly puritan notions of womanhood than actual reality. When you look at the statistics and when I listen to some of the stories my mom tells me (anonymized obviously ;-)), the only conclusion to draw is that women cheat virtually as much as men do. The statistical difference is very, very small. The only real difference is that women tend to cheat smarter than men.
    Now, if you are in the beginning of a new relationship, my opinion might sound earth-shattering. I know this because I too was once in the beginning of a new relationship. When you just met a new person and you have this crazy crush on him/her, you don't want to believe that either of you could EVER be with anyone else. The pure thought of your crush with another person makes you sick to your stomach. However, the longer the relationship lasts, the calmer you get about this. This does NOT mean that the love goes away however! I love my girlfriend more than anything in the world. I would give my life for her (and I certainly don't say this often). However, after 5 years of relationship, I start realizing that not being able to make any other sexual experience until my death might end up rather boring. And - being a modern man - of course I recognize that my girlfriend might very well feel the same way at one point. I understand that while we two are intimate companies, lovers and soul mates, none of us owns the other person. My girlfriend is not my property. And since I love her so incredibly much, I certainly

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    • don't want to imprison her in my jealousy. I also don't want to be imprisoned in her jealousy. This is why I believe an kind-of open relationship is the best thing for a long term couple (20+ years). I believe in long term monogamy but not in a sense that it is portrayed in disney movies and the like. Unfortunately, this is just phantasy and has nothing to do with reality. You will disagree now but after 10 or 20 years with your guy you will realize that even if you don't want to cheat (and even if you won't cheat) the urge to have sex with other guys is still there. This is a natural instinct and I believe it's stupid to fight these natural instincts too hard. You might love pizza but do you only want to eat pizza until the rest of your life? I think it's quite interesting that many conservative couples who are obsessed with monogamy end up cheating on each other more often. I believe, instead of cheating, you should just do it openly and separate it from your love for one another.

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    • Oh and I should perhaps also add to this that I don't have anything against monogamy as such. If you manage to stay faithful forever to your guy and he manages the same, great for you! I'm just not so sure how likely this is in reality and still remain 100% happy. As I said earlier, it might be hard to agree with me now. We both haven't been in REALLY long relationships. I think it's cute that you have this optimistic notion of monogamy. I'm just saying that if we were 50 or 60 and we had been together with our partners for many years or even decades, we might possibly talk a little different than you do now ;-).

    • Yes I admit that is possible

      However I hope it won't happen

      I dream of a romance filled marriage

      I can try. No one has ever been blamed for trying right? :D

  • I think if you're the type not to cheat nothing will make you cheat. Sadly I do think most men and women are willing to cheat if the incentive is great enough.

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    • well I guess you are right

      But I wouldn't be tempted to cheat. could never do that to anyone

    • Me neither. The closest I go is "Oh hey that's persons hot" and then I forget about them... If someone came on to me I'd let them know I'm in a relationship and if they kept coming after me I'd find them less attractive because I see that they aren't a caring or sensitive person if they're willing to cheat and humiliate my girlfriend. And I only date caring compassionate people.

    • haha im kind of the same

      when i see someone is flirting i get so uncomfortable and even cold.

      I have a boyfriend but, for my own personal reasons, most people dont know this. when they flirt they wonder oh wow is this chick afraid of me?

      It's not my intention to act like that, but I dont feel comfortable at least going along with it since i love my boyfriend very much and i laways try to think: if it was him and a girl I woulnt like it if he flirted back just to be nice as well.

  • This planet consists of more than 3.5 milliard/billion/nocluewhatnumbersystemI'msupposedtousebutyougetthepoint men. Do you not think that a certain percentage of these man can stay loyal for their entire life?

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    • these men, not man, fuck you autocorrect

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    • I really dont know. This is what has made me wonder about the accuracy of the article, since it is something that was posted publically

      however, they might always have an open marriage. you never know...

  • It won't happen because there will always be someone better than you, with the next coming around.

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    • you mean that a man won't stay faithful?
      because there is always someone better?

      Well that's bullshit im sorry. U sound like the man in the article

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    • That doesn't apply to women who age terribly.

    • ... oook

      what about how men age?

      however if a woman tries to eat healthy and exercise I believe she won't age too terribly. even if the effects of biology can't really be completely predicted

  • When the actor Robert Mitchum was asked this question, how he managed to stay with the same woman he had married before he became a famous matinee idol he said.

    "Lack of imagination I suppose."

    I can't top that.

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    • lol he was being ironic im sure

    • He had a sharp wit. When he worked on a set with Joan Fontaine who was notably adverse to bad language she had set out a 'curse box' where a dollar was required per infraction. He walked up to it on the first day, stuffed a $100 bill in and said, "Let me know when that runs out".

      He was notably piqued by the false glamour of many Hollywood actresses, particularly in how many padded their bras (this was before implants). After discovering by accident Ava Gardner's decolletage was the real thing, he ever afterward called her "honest Ava"

  • "they have some kind of religious belief." it's true that most men, without any moral objection to cheating, given the opportunity to cheat, would. Most men find the idea of sex with a random hot partner who wants them arousing. Some are ethically opposed, but VERY few find the idea offputting.

    Luckily, most men do have a moral objection to cheating. I suppose we might as well note that also, most men are offered relatively few opportunities to cheat without actively pursuing them.

    Many many men then never pursue cheating opportunities, pass up the odd offer in their life (or more likely, ignore the odd hint that if they pursued it their might be an offer) and -choose- to be faithful.

    "I think cheating has to do either with someone's satisfaction level on a relationship,..."

    Definitely. Some people cheat even when happy, but many more people cheat when unhappy. Marriage is a little different from dating, where people who are 'ethical' are more likely to simply break up when unhappy if they have another offer, when they are married with kids, and they're unhappy, and someone wants them... cheating vs. breaking up is more common.

    "with how much they love the person they are with" I suppose though again, cheating is a pairing of a desire to be with someone else while simultaneously not breaking up. If someone isn't really in love, isn't a piece of crap, and likes someone better, and they don't have kids or whatever, they just break up and date the new person.

    "and also with their character/ moral values." yes, for sure.

    While there are some habitual cheaters, they're a minority (though tend to be friends with other habitual cheaters). Most people marry expecting to never cheat. Some will do it anyway because they get offers and lack the willpower to say no. More will eventually cheat because they have been unhappy but don't want to break up their family, and often they have been sad with low self esteem as well, till someone shocks them by showing an interest their partner hasn't shown in years.

    And a fair number will never cheat.

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    • Thank you for your answer. It was an honest one. And you also addressed all of the points made in the article.
      Kuddos for being thorough :)

  • This is too unbelievably insulting to answer. Bye.

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    • pls dont take this the wrong way. If u knew how bad I felt by reading that article.

      I felt so hopeless and like crying...

What Girls Said 1

  • Having some self-control.

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