Why do women have to be mothers but men are allowed to not want fatherhood?

If a man says he doesn't want to be a father he is "just going his own way, and being independandt"
When a woman does not want to be a mother she is called a "selfish bitch", "evil whore", "ice queen" "vile demon woman" etc. (I have been called all of these in irl ). Even though the world is already overpopulated, pregnancy and birth are dangerous and traumatic, and many women can not afford children / find a man who will be a stable father figure for them. Why when I say I want to live child free do people get so angry? Why do people think because I am a woman they have some right to dictate what I do with my life? I can not afford children, hell I couldn't afford the hospital and doctor fees of being pregnant! My fiance doesn't want children either, I want to get my masters instead of being a young struggling mother, and I have an extreme fear of pregnancy and childbirth. But my family gets so mad and random people I barely know call me terrible names for not wanting motherhood. YET my fiance just gets accepted as soon as he says he doesn't want kids people say he is a "smart man" and he gets all this special treatment! Why do people want to force women to give birth so bad? It doesn't really effect YOUR life very much at all, every woman ever does not have to give birth just to make your overly controlling ass happy! Why does a woman making her own choices make people soooooo angry?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I've not really noticed that opinion much, and I've seen the reverse too.

    Assuming it's true I think it comes down to people acting on their instincts and the innate value unconscious they perceive within a woman's sexuality.

    I'm guessing you hear this more from women than from men?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I wonder if part of it is that women's primary role in the past has been "mother" whereas men have had more emphasis placed on their careers. So stay-at-home dads are often mocked, while women who don't want children are scorned. We're tossing away the major traditional roles and it confuses and repulses people who value those traditional roles highly. And some people seem to think you're only worth something if you procreate, but those people target both genders.

    I almost never tell anyone irl that I don't want children, though I told my mother and now she's constantly telling me I'll change my mind and I'd be "such a good mom." Everyone who's told me I'd be a good mom is completely ignoring multiple major aspects of my personality. Not flaws, in my opinion, just not ideal for motherhood. I love kids, I just have no business raising them.

    • yeah it sucks I hate when it comes up in conversation I think my fiance's sister hates me now

    • That's so disappointing. People hate each other for the silliest reasons. You could be the kindest person in the world, and someone will still hate you over something random and irrelevant. Don't let her bother you, if she hates you for this then she isn't worth the bother, honestly. :P

    • thank you I try not to let it bother me but it does


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What Guys Said 5

  • Well if you really want to think about it that way, then if a male chooses not to be a father, then they are choosing to be genetic waste that existed without a purpose from the perspective of the future and the gene pool, as their genetic code was never actually retained. Code that is lost completely is not valuable; and that is why it was erased by natural selection. So I guess you could call them a genetic deadend and a waste of their parents' time.

    The overpopulation argument is a terrible one. We're overpopulated in areas of poverty. The Western world's population is actually decreasing, more people die than how many are born.

    • Of course, as I said, this applies only if you want to think about it that way.

  • Beats me. I personally don't ever want to be a father. I know what it feels like and I could never fault a woman for not wanting children.

  • Just another double standard. I guess society has a default expectation for women to like children more so than men to like children.

  • Because it's your purpose

    • I think my purpose is neurosurgery and I'd rather save lives than create them...

    • Show All
    • You god is wrong and does not exist

    • Makes no sense

  • I've never heard of that.


What Girls Said 1