Would you say im using him or is he just naive?

so this guy likes me, or at least i think, and when im drunk or broke i like to take advantage of it. Long story short when he's drunk he buys me beer WITHOUT me even asking for it, he will insist of buying it to me, and most of the time i'll say yes. I'll hint to the fact that im thirsty and he will either buy me a beer or let me have most of his and i know that there is alcohol and him involved i can get a free nights out basically.

But the things is that i never invite myself, i never message him first and i never ask for anything, but i know that by batting my eyelashes and just being in the same bar as him i can get a lot of things from this guy. But the again, he normally insists or asks several times, so a part of him wants to give me things.

So would you say im using him in any way?

  • You're using him
    82% (14)81% (17)82% (31)Vote
  • You're not using him
    18% (3)19% (4)18% (7)Vote
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Updates:
he will also offer to buy me drinks when he sober too.. he invites me to his house for a party, but the days im broke he'll offer to pay for everything.. so he does this sober too

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You are shamelessly using him. He's hoping for more and sadly he thinks he has little more to offer you than drinks etc. You are taking advantage of this and you think it's funny. Which makes you an ass. You deserve to fall in love with a guy and have him play on that for sex and sandwiches and then toss you aside like trash when he gets tired of you, just like you will do to this guy inevitably. Your a pretty low person.

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    • So im a low person because i let a guy buy me drinks when he offers and wants to buy them for me? Okay, good to know. And i dont think its funny, i just dont feel like im doing something wrong. . He deff only after sex.. because if he liked me he would have tried to get to know me.. the only thing he does is buying me alcohol and talk about himself most of the time.. he is trying to use me for sex, and im guess im using for drinks.. its only fair game

    • He clearly has social problems and you are taking advantage of that. Deep down you know something's wrong or you woulden't be asking this. The right thing to do would be to be honest with him and tell him nothing's ever going to happen. Then help him find better ways of winning a girl because he has been so nice to you.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Are you that broke that you can't afford your own drinks?

    Did you really have to ask this question.
    Of course, you're taking advantage of him.
    He's like a walking atm.

    He probably likes and enjoys your company and thinks that's a way to win your over.
    Sadly, he doesn't realize you probably have no interest in him what so ever.

    He is indeed naïve.
    He'll learn eventually that being "too nice" gets him no where.

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    • im a student.. im always broke lol and he's not being "too nice", being nice is taking an interest in my life for example.. he does not.. at all.. when we're togheter he talks about myself 90% of the time.. and its really not my problem that he thinks that i'll like him just because he get me drunks on Saturday nights..

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    • y are u so cold towards him?

    • i dont think i am. but its like i said, its not my fault that he thinks that trying to get someone, or me, drunk will make me like him... Maybe its just a defence mechanism from my part.. im getting something without the risk of losing someting, or getting hurt..

What Guys Said 4

  • I don't so much think your using him if he if offering to buy you this stuff. If you were hounding him to buy it that would be different

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    • yeah.. i agree... there is nothing wrong with accepting things from people if they want to buy it to you

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    • when he buys me drinks i just say "thank you for the beer" and he'll say "no problem".. And maybe i am.. but i dont really feel like im doing to because im not asking for anything.. i mean one time he offered to buy me a beer, i told him that he should used that money on himself, he responded "by buying you a beer, im using it on myself".. he just really wants to buy me drinks sometimes, and i like free stuff.. so yeah.. maybe i am taing advantage of his generosity.. who knows

    • If it makes him happy to treat you to the drinks I say no harm no foul

  • You're using him. But what's the point of feeling sorry for someone when they don't respect themselves enough not be used? Seriously, though? You should cut ties with him sooner rather than later...

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    • But we work togheter. .. I see him almost weekly and 99% of times alcohol involved

    • Keep up the pleasantries... But keep it very professional. Try going to different bars... or drinking alone at home. If he messages you, ignore the messages. After a while, he'll get the message

  • Honestly, no, based on what you said, the issue is not that you are using him, the issue is that he is a little doormat.

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  • He is definitely naive, but you are sort of using him. He seems okay with it though.

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What Girls Said 4

  • You are Mistaking his kindness for weakness here, dear, and Definitely in my Book of Blunders... You're Using him.
    Perhaps instead, once in a blue moon Mood, You could in turn do something nice for him. In doing so, it would prove that you are a friend Instead and you could Then... Take your name off the "Fair weather friend" list.
    Good luck. xx

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  • Yes, you are using him and taking advantage. However, if you are clear about the fact that you're not into him, but he continues to offer to pay for things, fuck it, take advantage. At that point, it's his fault for being a dumbass...

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  • You're using him and his dumb enough for you to do that to him. Win win situation.

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    • this might sound like a odd question, but how am i using him? because i have always felt that for someone to use someone they would either give false promises or ask for things for example...

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    • I just hope it isn't an every weekend thing you do.

    • no.. it normally happens the few times i go out without getting invited or if he invites me to his parties

  • It's both. You're using him and he's naive. I had a similar problem with another guy but worse where I would use him emotionally and he would let me. If you feel bad about it, remind yourself of what's happening and don't let him let you use him.

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    • the worse thing about the situation is that i dont feel bad... i dont do anything to him that i dont do with anyone else.. if anything im making a less effort with him then anyone else i meet.. he just really wants me to be drunk with him.. im sure he has his motives..

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    • im sure thats what he hoping for.. but he doesn't know that i wouldt touch him with a stick lol.. the only thing he gets from me is a friendly handshake

    • Haha well, for your sake let's hope he doesn't figure that out.

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